Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
I left Miller's and got on the Brown Line. I was feeling no pain. I had no idea what time it was. It seemed like three in the morning, but I'm guessing it was only about 9:00 p.m. At Clark/Lake two really good looking young women- early twenties, one blonde, one brunette- got on and sat down across from me. It's possible, perhaps likely, that I was leering at them like a dirty old man. The dark-haired one said hello to me and struck up a conversation. I noticed right away that they were wearing badges. The blonde was "Sister Young" and the brunette was "Sister Stevenson". I had to squint to see what else the badges said. Underneath their names it said "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints". I asked if they were missionaries. Sister Stevenson became very excited and said that indeed they were. She asked me if I knew about Mormons. I said I knew quite a bit about Mormons. In fact, I looked around the train car and said, "You see all these people on this train? Besides you and Sister Young I know more about Mormons than anyone in this car." She looked somewhat skeptical and asked how I knew that. I said, "Because I know a lot of shit. Do you want to talk about Joseph Smith and Nauvoo, Illinois?" She quickly changed the subject by asking me the dreaded question, "What do you do?" I replied with a sigh, "I really hate that question. Why don't you ask me what I love?" She said, "Okay, what do you love?" And I said, "I love horse racing, baseball, and, as you can see, getting fucked up." Sister Stevenson was not fazed. She came right back with "What's your favorite baseball team?" I told her it was the White Sox. She said hers was the Giants. It came out that she was a convert from San Francisco. Sister Young was born into the faith. But she made a point to say she had read The Book of Mormon at an early age and knew that it was true. By this time we were at Armitage where the girls got up and said they had to get off. Sister Stevenson took one last shot at me by handing me her business card. It was an epic battle of good vs. evil truncated by an El stop. If only they had been riding all the way to Paulina, evil most certainly would have won out and Sister Stevenson and I would probably be cavorting in Cuba right now like Brando and Jean Simmons in Guys and Dolls.
Never a dull moment with you.
_________________
Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
The victims are the American People and the Republic itself.
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