During "shift change" I heard Bernstein recount how he finally got batteries for his garage door opener. He actually contacted the homeowners association for assistance. At one point, as Goff kept yammering to interject, Terry mentioned that his car (Acura) had the ability to open the garage door. Dan seemed to laugh at himself while expressing some measure of accomplishment.

I've lost all (remaining) respect for this putz and any stories of accomplishment he wishes to share. I'm surprised his wunderkind couldn't solve it for him, but maybe electronics (like math) is something too simple for him too understand/grasp/explain. Whatever. I don't need to hear anything from this raging vagina about sports, or life, or whatever.

PTFB, and I'm done. There's ignorant talk, and then there's just simple ignorance (in a modern sort of way). Let him regale the rest of you ALS (and wannabe ALS) about something he just learned the night before about sports. The dumbass callers will keep coming because anybody with a clue has moved on and knows better, far better.

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DRINK BƎTTƎR. @theRIPH

Douchebag, you're up.

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Over/Under on the number of hours NCM listened: 2.5

Let's hear your guesses.

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He is not done. He will continue listening.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Was shocked as well. Dan was telling the story and said to his wife "Maybe the remote has batteries?" No shit, Dan!!! How do you think it works? Seriously. How is that remote shutting your garage for all those years? It's either plugged in or has batteries. It took him a year to figure this out. Unreal.

But you're right about Goff. He never lets people tell stories without interrupting. Did so with Dan's stupid story. He is just flat out rude.

Just as life imitates art, so too does Dan imitate Leery.

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My guess is six hours. He listened to the entire show live, and then jerked off to the "best of" portions via podcast.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

I've never had my own garage, even in Oregon. I'd be just as hopeless as Berns if the door didn't open.

I wanted to wait longer for ALS role call to fully assemble. But those of you here, defend your vagina boy.

I'm sure he redeemed himself for you by having someone else's thoughts that he could bestow upon you. Maybe he gave you something new to knaw into about Derrick? Hopefully he can give you something to carry into the weekend that won't get you mocked derisively (Championship Sunday). Maybe you'll talk your brand of sports to your oblivious significant other (who thinks "whatever" just get me another whatever). Or maybe you'll flip the script and use this while around another with whom you feel DB like (translated: superior), and mock VB for mentioning it while not knowing what the fuck you just paid for, but feeling smug that you paid less than that other prick in the loaded Acura MDX.

You guys listened the remaining hours, so I'm sure you feel good knowing that your "guy" doesn't know how a thermostat works, or that a garage door opener needs batteries to operate. Just remember the number to your road service (mine is printed on the driver's side glass) if you need a flat fixed or a needless tow. Just don't talk sports to the guy who's saving your sorry ass when truly in dumbass need.

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DRINK BƎTTƎR. @theRIPH

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

I haven't heard a single minute this month. Please give me a rundown of what has been discussed so far this year. You seem like a super fan.

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0% listening + 100% blind/deaf ALS defense = Ultimate ALS status? Close, but not quite. I'm sure you try to make up for it by titter following.

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DRINK BƎTTƎR. @theRIPH

So you are done listening to him because he didn't know how to change the batteries in a garage remote?

I'm also pretty sure this was Dan showing humility and making fun of himself but hey let's hate him for that!

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Please point out where I have defended him.

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No ALS here. We are merely pointing out that haters continue to listen despite claims to the contrary. It's ok. You might protest, but we know you play with yourself, watch porn, "forget" to wash your hands after using the bathroom, and enjoy Adelle music.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

At least I have a legitimate reason for being done "Happy Birthday to Len Kasper. He is so lucky to be broadcasting the Cubs with all those eyes and ears that will be on him this year."

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

I don't like Adelle music.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

I listened, it was less offensive in the Bernstein-is-a-dweeb sense and more in the Leery/Goff/Spiegel mundane life event way.

It was bad and I didn't listen to other podcasts hours. I feel like I have to offer that up to this B&B ALS support group. I listen...way less.

Dan lamenting that "Fred" has these players who needed to be screamed at by "the last guy" or "his predecessor." This is a veritable Bernstein triple crown: he puts himself on a first-name basis with the active head coach, will not refer to Tom Thibodeau by any name, and to top it all off, blames ineffective coaching on the players.

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Terry first pretended to read some news on hockey and oil, then pretended he "heard it yesterday".

C'mon Terry. I love you too much for it to turn into this on a increasing basis.

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Ба́бушка гада́ла, да на́двое сказа́ла—то ли до́ждик, то ли снег, то ли бу́дет, то ли нет.

The NHL is in serious trouble if the Canadian dollar keeps dropping. It's one thing to shoulder the blow of an 85-cent CAD with how far and away Toronto, Montreal, and Vancouver outdraw other teams. Below 60 cents, a huge portion of your league revenue is disappearing into thin air.

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Do the Canadian players get paid in U.S. or Canadian dollars?


As for the American teams, their ticket revenues and tv contracts are in U.S. dollars. That will cushion the blow as it's a natural hedge. I know the Canadian tv contract is a huge revenue source, but I think U.S. teams will be fine.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

All players are paid in U.S. dollars.

The idea was that revenue sharing was supposed to hedge against currency fluctuations, that Winnipeg wouldn't have to worry this time around because American teams would pick up the slack. But now the Jets bring in more money than most American teams do. As a result of all this, escrow has gone up to 20% on players' paychecks: money that gets withheld and then redistributed at the end of the year make sure revenue is split 50-50 between players and owners (used to be 57-43 players until Lockout III).

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The Canadian tv contract started in 14/15. It was a 12 year agreement with a $5.2B value Canadian. I did the math all in Canadian dollars.

That contract averages 433M per year. That is 14M per team. Canadian

The US/CAD was about 1.10 per USD at the beginning of 2014 and is now 1.41 per. That 14M was worth $12.7M and is now worth $9.9M. So I highly doubt that a decline per team of around $3M per year is going to kill anyone.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

Really? The Coyotes are hanging by a thread. If they don't get to keep their arena management deal where they get paid to rent the arena and collect revenue from other events, they're dead. Teams like the Coyotes, Panthers, and Hurricanes need every dollar they can get.

The real insulation for the Jets comes from the fact that ownership intends to own pretty much all the real estate around the MTS Centre, thereby Monetizing Everything in downtown Winnipeg, but even that is going to be trouble with a 59-cent dollar.

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The Canadian teams will have all other costs in Canadian dollars like rent. That will be their natural hedge. The U.S. teams will have all ticket and concession revenues in U.S.dollars. That is their hedge. Of course the currency issue will hurt. I wonder if the league and/or individual teams have swap contracts to hedge the player's salaries? I wish they had publicly available audited financials, and then I could tell you.

It seems like a minor issue to me.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

If $3M per year is going to break a major sports franchise, then currencies are the least of your issues. $3M is less than 5% of the annual salary cap. It's peanuts in the world of sports.


That team went under well before the recent currency movements.

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Hawaii (fuck) You