They've already got the obligatory "5 things Mourinho must do to stop the rot at United" article on the Guardian. Makes me sad to see how far that paper has fallen. Even five years ago it was still respectable. If you ever change the thread subtitle again I cast my vote for The Rooney Problem.

I agree about Pogba. Not prestige worldwide at the Euros (pretty sure I read somewhere France played 4-2-3-1 as well) and had Pirlo and Marchisio at Juventus. But they paid him that big money and Mourinho should have known what he was buying considering 4-2-3-1 is his jam.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

I watched the derby back and Citeh didnt' as much win as United lost. I mean, Man U is the worse team but coaching wise they got pantsed in the first half especially.

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Ба́бушка гада́ла, да на́двое сказа́ла—то ли до́ждик, то ли снег, то ли бу́дет, то ли нет.

some chinese dude on 4chan's /sp/ board dropped this awesome little diddy today...

The UK spends around £700m per year on importing bananas, which comes to roughly 5 billion bananas. £100m would buy you about 714,000,000 bananas. The length of the average banana is ~18cm, its width is ~7cm, and its weight is ~120grams. Old Trafford is 105x68m. If you wanted to cover the entire pitch at Old Trafford with bananas, it would only take 566,093 bananas to do so. If you wanted to form a cube of pure banana and put it on the pitch at Old Trafford, you could build a cube of pure banana 100.9 metres high, weighing about 6 tonnes. Alternatively, you could place 9,439 bananas in each seat. Instead of filling a pitch with bananas, Manchester United spent that money on the far more racist option of putting Jack Colback in blackface.

* drops mic *

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The Benteke signing for Palace is paying off, even if they had to sign his terrible sibling.

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Zeki Fryers is the true secret weapon.

Love the now annual tradition of wondering how Ivanovich still starts for Chelsea.

Dismal match at Anfield Monday night. I don't mind scheming, defensive matches in a CL knockout round but that was some uninspired shit from both sides. Leicester have been god-awful in their title defense. They look to be going HAM in the Champions League. Is this finally Arsenal's year? Wenger takes the PL and then struts into the England job.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

As much as I love Arsenal, and want to feel optimistic, they will fuck it up. They always do. Like the Cubs of the BPL.

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I always say this and always break my promise but I swear Monday is the LAST time I get hyped for a big match involving Mourinho as the away manager. His overall quality may have taken a hit over the last season and a half but the dude still knows how to stink it up like the best of them on the biggest occasions.

^^^ = #ArsenalDNA, or how we know that boyd is a legit gunner!

Supposedly the latest tabloid/rag gossip = Ozil won't commit to signing an extension until Arsene is going to sign one, because he doesn't wanna stick around here for the Post-Wenger Era. Ozil and Alexis' contracts both end after the 17-18 season, and Arsene's is up after this season. Obviously when you're sitting on Ozil/Sanchez you don't wanna risk saying "WE'RE ALL IN FOR 17-18!" and then either one or both of them wanna leave after the season and you potentially lose out on up to 40-100mil on transfer fees because you're letting them go on a bosman (free transfer) so it's going to be interesting as hell to see what happens.

it would be absolutely heartbreaking for arsenal to rise up and legitimately take a step or two or three forward this year (i mean even ox isn't 100% shit this year, and that's asking a lot for a guy who's basically 75%-shit-at-best =) and then next summer you lose ozil and/or alexis because..... god hates us? man i might actually shed a tear or something.... a plastic tear, but still a tear nonetheless =/

yeah, arsenal definitely looks to be a notch or two better/more-consistent/clinical/legit, however in the end if you know arsenal it's basically "yeah, what boyd said" --- that said, holy shit arsenal games have been absolutely brilliant appointment TV lately (well, all arsenal games are appointment TV, but lately you just get that much more !!! to see them play their next game cuz man oh man, this feels like it very well just could possibly be something a notch or 2 better than "same ol arsenal" eh?

TLDR = MESUT/ALEXIS: *PLEASE* SIGN DA FING!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T LEAVE US NOW WHEN WE'RE FINALLY LOOKING LIKE WE'RE ON THE VERGE OF DOING MORE THAN WE USUALLY DO!!! [READ: 4TH PLACE TROPHY / CL KNOCKOUT STAGES / SOLID CUP RUN/S]

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[edit = a few paragraphs of hubris deleted for reasons of jinxtitude cuz i know talking shit and naming names = a veritable batsignal that calls "same ol arsenal" to show up and break our hearts, you know, just like boyd said]

suffice to say that arsenal's overall form/repeated-displays-of-FIGHT/RESOLVE/WE-DONT-QUIT/etc has me seriously !!! about facing some of the big dogs in the PL because man oh man.... right now you just feel like almost anything is possible* with this legitimately-improving arsenal side. plz plz plz sign an extension ASAP wenger so you can get ozil/alexis to do the same and we can sleep easy/easier knowing this is almost certainly NOT the last year of our most legitimately dynamic duo since the days of henry and bergkamp!

that said, actually displaying some confidence/hubris/belief/HOPE here = "same ol arsenal" on the horizon and we barely scrape by with a "victory draw" against middlesboro in the morning... or worse? * crosses fingers / prays to god / pisses off jim cornette *

* = obviously results against barca/RM/buyern do not apply here. i might be !!! and a bit more confident, but i ain't THAT stupid/pie-in-the-sky/[r-word]ed about this whole deal here! =]

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I wonder the same thing every year

so hey, did anyone notice that 1) i was originally crowing about Arsenal's recent run of !!!FORM!!! saying "BRING ON MAN UTD!!!!" and then 2) I caught myself a few minutes later and quickly redacted that part-- however 3) I noted the power/s of the jinx and said something like "now watch Arsenal go and get one of those victory-draws against Middlesboro"

[drum roll]

and hey whaddya know, it turns out that I was right once again because, indeed, Arsenal managed to go out and play a *meh* aka "SHIT" game vs Middlesboro... AT THE EMIRATES NO LESS and even tho the final score went down as 0-0 and it's like "hey at least >we kept a clean sheet" i can tell you that having watched the game Boro had more/better chances to score and therefore was most likely the more likely/deserving to grab a goal, so I'd argue that while the game formally wasn't your traditional "Victory Draw" (you know, where Arsenal falls behind something like 0-2 or 1-3 and ends up making you go mental pulling out your hair at the usual cavalcade of "bossing possession and (often?) creating quality chances, only to have the [lesser] opponent turn around and convert 1 or 2 of the rare counter/chances they get to "stun" and "shock" Arsenal by going ahead/level in a game that they quite honestly have no business being in")

AHEM. so while i'd argue that saturday's Arsenal 0-0 Middlesboro wasn't your typical/textbook "Victory Draw"-- if only because Arsenal didn't have to overcome a deficit that carried on late/r into the game to such an extent that after spending ~30-60+ mins losing to a lesser side-- it still felt like "same ol Arsenal" was out there bottling another easy/easier 3pts that will come back to haunt them in the season, ergo it felt like a "Victory Draw" because nobody would have been too surprised if they ended up losing 0-1 or maybe even 0-2 in one of those situations where they spend most of the 2H chasing that 1 goal deficit, only to have THE DAGGER! ((C) Wayne Larrivee) come circa 85'-90'+ to all but formally end any and all chances of Arsenal getting a result...

...but hey, if you ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO drop points to a shit team like Boro you midaswell do it during a round where the other teams atop the table aren't continuing a run of invincible football so at the end of the round you're in a 3 way tie for top of the table that's separated only by goal difference (City +11, Arsenal +10, Liverpool +9, all 3 have 20pts) --- that said, you just KNOW there's going to be a point at a crucial juncture somewhere down the road (most likely somewhere between 1 jan and 1 april) where you start looking at the table and the upcoming fixtures and try to figure out paths to ???* in your head.... and then that's where you discover a scenario that's somewhere between difficult to impossible for Arsenal to pull off; this leaves you sitting there like "Damn" and THEN you remember the 2pts they dropped at home vs Boro and go "FUCKING ELL M8" (last season it was a match @WBA where in the final ~5mins arsenal got a penalty that woulda either tied the game or given them the lead.... but santi cazorla bottled it, effectively leaving 1 or 2 points on the table [depending on if the pen woulda equalized or game Arsenal the lead] --- so i reckon that until further notice this home vs Middlesboro game will be one where you can't help but feel like Arsenal left 2 easy/easier points on the table [even if technically the game itself was there for Boro to either win or draw, and thank god they "chose" the latter]

AHEM. rather than tack on the last bit here (the whole reason i came here to post, actually) i reckon imma start a new message for it so those of y'all who see like 3-5 paragraphs from sini in a new message and say "KEEP IT!(TM)" - Jason Goff and skim past my usual wall-o-soliloquy [which i'm not passive/aggro-ing you about... i totally understand! c'est la me, no?]

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so here it is guys.... the burning question that brought me to the thread in the first place:



soooo if arsenal somehow manages to beat ManUtd @ Old Trafford on 19 Nov, would you take that picture there and go back and add a dejected looking mourinho standing off in the background? i was kinda thinking about doing that regardless of what happens anyways, however having just experienced-firsthand the indelible powers of THE JINX, yeah, I reckon I'll wait til after the ManUtd vs Arsenal match on 19 Nov, eh?

OH YEAH, and after today's scintillating day 2 of the league cup RO16 [well it is if you root against pep/city anyways =] they did the draw for the league cup quarterfinals...

ManUtd vs West Ham
Liverpool vs Leeds United
Hull City vs Newcastle
Arsenal vs Southampton

of course that last/bolded one [read: the one that matters =] isn't 100% automatic jubilation like "YES WE AVOIDED MU AND LFC!!!" because Southampton has been Arsenal's "Nightmare Team" for the last few years. Whether it was Szczesny's legendarily awful game that drove him to smoke in the showers, or whether it was that 0-4 @southampton on boxing day last year that properly "celebrated" arsenal's arrival to the top of the table, man oh man, southampton is NEVER going to be easy/routine/etc for arsenal.... even if you figure that they're not good enough to be an almost-automatic-beatdown like you're going to play at Emptyhad (City) or even Stamford Bridge.... and they're not bad enough to where you worry that "same ol Arsenal" might do that thing where they make a lesser/relegation-tier side look like worldbeaters for just one game (a a matter of fact, that 0-4 @southampton last season was something like their only PL victory over the course of ~2-3 months, or maybe they had won like 2-3 out of a run of ~10-15 fixtures? either way there was one of those sky sports graphics that showed southampton's run of form dating back ~10-15 gmaes and you saw a whole lotta L's and D's, but then in the middle of a sea of those L's + D's you saw one big prominent W.... and OF COURSE it was 4-0 home against Arsenal.... c'est la Arsenal no?

For what it's worth Arsenal technically got 3pts in their first match against Southampton this year so one might casually think "hey didn't we beat them already this year? Maybe that whole 'Mare Team business is over with?" ---- don't forget that the Southampton game required Arsenal to get a penalty in the final 1-3 minutes of the game, which Cazorla thankfully converted to give Arsenal a 1-0 lead and ultimately 3pts. so yeah, if arsenal won 4-1 or something and did it in emphatic "make a statement" fashion that's one thing.... but to have a game that was 0-0 until like 88' before you got bailed out with a penalty? I reckon Southampton still has their "Nightmare Team" status with Arsenal until further notice.... #ShomerShabbos

anyways i can't sleep but i can eat so hey now and HOO-HA let's go celebrate #CubpacalypseNOW with a W flag donut, eh? #HastaLaVista......Fatty!

TLDR = and hey if arsenal can beat manutd @ OT on 19 nov should i shoop a dejected looking mourinho into the background of the picture that's in this post?

HASTA!

# sir tommy mctoughnuts: arsenal plastic du jour (who srsly knows every word to [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZEo15ZK5wk]redman's "i'll bee dat!"[/url)]

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oh yeah, and as a long-suffering member of the Joel Campbell ALS i was oddly compelled to make this tonight (during an insomnia-riddled overnight)...[drum roll]



(fortunately i found a cartoon/drawing of joel campbell to go with the original picture; unfortunately i had to stretch his face wide to cover up the anime girl's face, seeing as i think an actual picture of joel's face wouldn't have worked out nearly as well as wenger's did there. i reckon anyone ??? at the face can see the sporting CP logo on the trash/bin and then go "ohhhh that's supposed to be joel campbell then... hey at least he's black! it still doesn't explain the two long strands of blonde hair inexplicably coming out of the sides of the hoodie, but hey i'm an insomniac amateur not a legit professional artist who can plunk in 5-10x the amount of time/effort than i did (~30mins prolly, as sad as that is to admit. using a 1-2pt eraser around hairlines can be time consuming!)

p.s. -- don't forget to let me know what you think about my idea of adding a dejected mournho to the wenger-as-drake doing the NAH/PASS/KEEP-IT/[fFOKEPLEASE! meme from "hotline bling!"

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Ibra has been a pile of shit at Man U. See how many shots they had on goal over the weekend?

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

wasn't it 37 or something absolutely crazy like that? and it ended up being an 0-0 against the mighty burnley? yikes! speaking of manutd, i had to update the topic to touch on another one of manutd's "golden youth" who some said was the next CR7 (and possibly even better?) --- yeah, no wonder a lot of people wanna call the guy memepiss, eh?

anyways onwards and hopefully upwards with your thomas p. mctoughnuts: arsenal plastic du jour minute>> it's a north london derby against tottnumb hotshit on sunday at 6am (you know if there's one time i actually want that 1-2 week difference between euro daylight savings time and USA daylight savings time to push back euro football 1hr, it's when a NLD is scheduled for 6am on sunday) -- ENGLAND'S BRAVE ARRY KANE is due back for tottnumb, and arsenal might have theo back, maybe not? at least you got ramsey in there with cazorla's achilles bring problematic again, and in something like 3 games this season he's got 2 assists while i think wilshere's played just about every game for bournemouth but still got 0? man i was loving that "wilshere to city for 40mil" bullshit rumor at the end of the 14-15 season i tell you what.

with arsenal, man, whenever you get a run of confidence to be like BRING ON MANUTD! I WANNA WHOOP THEIR ASS1!!! that's when you catch yourself and say "watch them have a draw-as-victory against middlesboro" and that was pretty-arguably the case in that thrilling 0-0 affair/reality-check that caught a bit of good timing to keep them level with city/liverpool atop the table (it's goal difference separating them now, tho with spurs at 5-5-0/20pts and a GD of +9, arsenal's 7-2-1/23pts with a GD +13 = if spurs win by 3 on sunday they COULD conceivably be ahead of arsenal heading into the international break.... we'll see what happens.

that said, man, the last NLD last year was that one where arsenal was up, coquelin got an absolutely stupid (almost dropped "the r-word" there) 2nd yellow there to get shown the door, spurs flexed their muscle to get up 2-1, then arsenal equalized and was indelibly "Same ol arsenal" in being like 2ft from having a late go-ahead goal, ultimately giving us a tie which some say is like kissing your sister, but then again i'm not inbred as far as i know so what do i know? well, one thing i THINK i do know is that this arsenal side seems to be a notch or two ahead of where they usually are. this year they've shown a lot of fight to get late victories against southampton, uhhhh and i wanna say another 1-2 before the 2nd CL group game against liudogrets with that fantastic ozil goal where he chipped the keeper either to pass it to himself or simply dribble around him, before juking 2 defenders and walking it in circa 88-89' to win the match that arsenal trailed 0-2 at 15'? yeah good luck seeing something like THAT on a thursday!

so hey, you know even tho i'm relatively new to the arsenal thing i still know that the arsenal way is to have you all confident and then have it all come tumbling down... but hey i can tell you that this 16-17 arsenal side IS legitimately a notch or two better.... but they're still an arsenal side so you know that it's obviously possible for them to bottle it at any given moment.... but here's to hoping that they don't!

and of course you can ask the architect of the matrix about how hope works with us humans, eh?

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that late equalizer from middlesborough on city = FUCKING GLORIOUS! that's what we call "GETTING BORO'ED!" here in arsenal country.

remembering that city just beat barcelona by a score like 3-1 during the week, i had to drop this banter:

11:59 < emessiah> if any city fans in here (heh) need any support on what it's like to have a soul-crushing / amazing-run-of-orm-ending
draw with boro, welp, us arsenalites are here for you

(of course there's no city fans in #soccer. duh! =)

of course chelsea's up 4-0 on everton circa 62' so that means that if arsenal draws the NLD tomorrow there's a good chance they could be in 4th. and chelsea's hustling hard for #5 here.... fuckin ell m8!

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welp, some say that "a draw is like kissing your sister" so in that case i'd guess that you might as well lock me up for (w)incest! ={

fuckin ell m8, i know that arsenal's goal was an OG off of an ozil FK where an arsenal player or 2 might have been "offsides" (but hey at least that dude wimmer--aka "wummer" and sure as hell NOT "winner'--got a head on it cleanly and HE sure as shit wasn't offsides =) but still, man oh man, that fucking penalty that spurs/ARRY-KANE got gifted was ARRRRGHHHHH cuz man, basically kosc was standing there and whoever had the ball on spurs basically ran right into him like 1.5 steps into the box so go figure it's YET ANOTHER HARRY P.-KANE PK where he had done fuckall all game long (esp cuz he was only ~1 week back from a ~8 week injury or whatever) but then spurs are gifted some kind of potentially "make-up" penalty and kane converts it and hey IT'S YET ANOTHER GOAL FOR ENGLAND'S BRAVE HARRY KANE, WHO DOES IT FOR CLUB, QUEEN, AND COUNTRY!!!!! so the statpadder can penaldo himself another goal for his tally and at the end of the year we can go "man this harry kane guy is the goods! bang-average my ass! how the hell is england not at least in euro/WC quarterfinals with this legendary greatest-english-pure-scorer-since-shearer leading the attack!?

TLDR = i wasn't as utterly devastated/buttblasted as many of my #/arsenal contemporaries were.... i mean if you wanna say our "offsides/ish" OG was wrong/gifted, then spuds sure as shit got a PK gifted to equalize the game and neither team did what they had to do to actually win it.... so with spuds 5-5-0/20pts and arsenal 7-2-1/23pt heading into today's game, spuds can call it a positive result going on the road to arsenal and taking a point, but at the same time i'm not on the ledge because arsenal "lost 2pts to spurs today" because if anything >we lost 2pts to liverpool and chelsea (in that order respectively) and we DIDN'T have a chance to gain 2pts on city when they got BORO'd yesterday..... so while spurs is still 3pts back and GD hate us cuz it aint us, man oh man... you know, i've seen my beloved arsenal blow countless games liek this over the last few years, and at least today they didnt lose....

....but come the fuck on! get a legit goal in there and win this fuxr 2-1 and "make a statement" cuz really rhe #1 positive about today's draw-result for the NLD = at least spurs didn't win so every UK rag would pump out stories like "THEY DEFEATED ARSENAL... SO IS THIS THE YEAR THAT SPURS ARE FINALLY LEGIT CONTENDERS TO WIN THE PREMIER ELAGUE?!!? --- srsly men, the only thing worse than this woulda been liverpool winning in 13-14 cuz if THAT happened once you remember that the scouse have spread through all the arteries of UK football media/punditry and therefore are represented EVERYWHERE in the body of UK football media: man oh man, the stories about how we all gotta blow brenton rodgers and worship luis suarez and of course totally confirm that stevie "me" gerrard was ALWAYS the "Greatest Player in the History of the Premier League" ---- yeah, we dodged a bullet when stevie me went out of his way to make sure that "THIS DOES NOT SLIP!!!" =D

</TLDR> aka "holy shit i'm starting to develop an immunity to the TLDR = *.* stuff at the end of my msgs as i keep on typing beyond it.... there IS no hope for me, is there?

t. thomas q. mctoughnuts, esq. Arse/anal Plastick Du-JORR

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Man City with a massive win at mid week vs Barca in the CL.

Followed that up by giving up a tying goal to Middlesbrough in injury time.

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http://www.express.co.uk/sport/football ... ier-League

Well, fuck

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The Guardian is still setting the standard for groundbreaking journalism with articles about how Liverpool and Chelsea have an advantage in the league because they are not playing European football. What a provocative hypothesis!

Mourinho veering back to crazy with another touchline ban.

Coutinho out 5-6 weeks! Just when I was starting to get on that LFC JFT96 YNWA bandwagon.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

so hey, has anyone happened to notice how the PL table is looking at the end of the day here? it's looking pretty good over here in McToughnutsington Heights, IL-- that's for damn sure!

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also HOLY SHIT, i'm totally ing at this image where it's obvious [at least to me] that someone who works for arsenal media decided to have a little fun with a "lewd and suggestive" goal image for mesut ozil.... cuz look at this: holy shit, mesut ozil is literally mounting the word "GOAL" and look where he's lined up to, uhhh, yeah. i guess in sex you technically "assist" a female so mesut is able to have kids, eh?



and btw re: the last line of my post up there = an excuse to repost this classic arsenal image... [drum roll]

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Citeh sinking to new lows. I tuned in just in time to see the third goal

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Ба́бушка гада́ла, да на́двое сказа́ла—то ли до́ждик, то ли снег, то ли бу́дет, то ли нет.

Nice draw for the December EPL leaders Arsenal in the the Champions League knockouts. Another quick exit for he of the Highbury ivory tower.

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Back off, Warchild. Seriously.

Thomas Q. McToughnuts: Arsenal Plastic du Jour here--- you might have noticed that i didn't show up to say anything circa tuesday/wednesday.... well that's because arsenal ONCE AGAIN got ashley FUCKING williams'ed [last time = feb/march midweek home fixture vs swansea where arsenal went from 1-0 to 1-2 and all-but-officially/effectively ended their PL title hopes] ONCE AGAIN off of another fucking setpiece, and of course this is exascerbated by ozil blowing at least 2 sitters (with the most egregious one being circa 60-65' in the 2H that woulda put arsenal ahead 2-1 and, quite honestly, 85% likely to leave the game with an all-important 3pts) because uhhhh hey you know it's just not arsenal to go out and have your momentum (that had fans like "this year is different!") taken away by simply losing a game..... oh no, you gotta 100% for-sure be starting 1/3pts in the face and either str8up bottle 1-3 sitters or end up having a shot or 2 seriously go < 1ft wide of the goal so you knew that arsenal was literally THIS CLOSE to a better fate (see: 2016 FA Cup where arsenal was literally just <1 ft away from an aaron ramsey goal that woulda brought on extra time and then ???)

so yeah, that loss not only ate away your 3pt buffer on 3rd place scousers and 4th place city, but it also allowed chelsea to jump 6pts ahead of you (and by the way, i saw a thing where chelsea's point total thru 15 rounds of the PL = highest point total anyone's had in something like the last 5-10yrs. yes, even 14-15 where IIRC chelsea had basically wrapped up the PL by christmas.... even that chelsea side wasn't doing as well as this one right here.... and keep in mind this is a team that arsenal has already beat 3-1 this season)

so uhhh yeah, as of right now arsenal's sitting 9pts back behind chelsea, tied with liverpool on pts but 3rd place behind them due to GD, and of course we're going into an @ManCity fixture that i wish i had the chutzpah to tell you "oh dont worry #ArsenalGotsThis" and all cuz honestly i'm expecting a loss because at the end of last weekend when i was thinking "man, if this NOT-same-ol-arsenal can go and get 3pts from everton then at least they'll have that 3-4pt buffer on 3rd+4th place and therefore losing at city = doesn't really fuck you up any worse than 3rd place and tied on points...

...nope. this means that on tuesday morning (cuz round 16 here has everton vs liverpool on monday. and you know everton's gonna bitch out and lose 1-4 or 2-5 or something because outside of a freak "repeat performance" by boro over arsenal and then city 2 weeks later, man, you just know everton's gonna go back to being relatively-suckass-everton right away because they no longer have arsenal out there elevating them to look like a worldbeating side) -- AHEM. yeah on tuesday morning just watch: arsenal will be in 4th place... gee, i wonder if anyone has ever made up a meme for that?



sooooo yeah, pretty much the almost-guaranteed loss/draw sunday will all but effectively end arsenal's title hopes cuz like, not only would you be (best case scenario) 8pts back of chelsea and ~2pts behind liverpool with a draw.... but spurs likely gains on you coming up from 5th place (and IIRC they were like 4-7 back, so i mean, 2 losses in a row surely = they're ~1pt back and yeah) --- and especialyl with a loss being ~8pts behind chelsea and then having to leapfrog liverpool 3pts ahead of you and city 2-3pts ahead of you? forgetboutit. it just aint gonna happen.... you might as well go "all in" to win the CL, cuz at least you got first in the group so you could avoid a legit worldbeating "football death star" like real madrid, barcelona, or especially "europe's most arsenal opponent" buyern munich... r-right?

(you now remember that 1st-in-their-group Arsenal "drew" buyern munich for the CL RO16 matchup... you know, just like 2013+2014)

...and man oh man i really wanna smack all those ppl writing articles for the UK rags / footy-media like "IT'S IMPORTANT THAT ARSENAL WINS THEIR GROUP" --- lol no. idk if i ever gave the euroseason thread here my TLDR/ish take on why 1st place in the CL group is irrelevant for arsenal (as i theorize that to make a CL final you're either going to have to beat RM/barca/buyern in a 2-leg home-n-away setup, as i figure for the last 5-10yrs all CL finals teams had to face one of those 3 or, most likely, WERE one of those 3---- so basically cheering on "1st in the CL group" as a big deal = you're really cheering on getting knocked out in the QFs as opposed to the RO16, otherwise you wouldnt care if you finish 1st or 2nd in the group because if you're actually finna WIN THE FUCKING CHAMPIONS LEAGUE you're gonna have to beat RM/barca/buyern at some point.... and while technically ducking 1 of the 3 in the RO16 = less likely you'll have to face 2 to make it to the CL final.... still, all this bullshit about arsenal needing to finish first in the group = superfluous because seriously, if you plan to win the fucking CL it doesnt matter where you finish as long as you survive the group stages and go to the knockout rounds.

of course, i dont expect to see a movie called "one magic night in cardiff" anytime soon, so i guess i'll just have to cross my fingers that netflix has the proper/original UK version of "Fever pitch" eh?

TLDR = arsenal is fucked tomorrow, and tuesday was the first time arsenal legitimately hurt me this season (and to give you an idea, i didnt get hurt when liverpool won on opening day or when arsenal gets their annual "come to jesus" beatdown circa the RO16 via buyern/barca.... [it's when arsenal blows a game to an eminently beatable opponent at such a time/juncture where they get pushed back far enough to effectively end any and all PL-winning pipedreams that arsenal actually hurts you.

..it's when ox makes that turnover in the final seconds of the 1at leg vs monaco to turn 1-2 into 1-3 (and thus ensure that winning 2-0 in monaco = monaco still advances on away goals) --- or when giroud blows a sitter from literally 1ft in front of dead center of the goal leading up to arsenal getting ASHLEY WILLIAMS'D vs swansea mid-week last season. or now getting ASHLEY WILLIAMS'd again vs everton last tuesday.... cuz relative to the table and what's going on.... man. does chelsea look like they're gonna go lose ~2-3 more games than arsenal during any reasonable stretch/period-of-time? will they have like 4-5 more draws+losses combined than arsenal between now and the end of the season? srsly, fuck up tomorrow (read: not 3pts) and you can go 5-0 chelsea @stamford bridge and they'll be like "ok, we're still 5-6pts clear of you losers. have fun losing to southampton and buyern within the next week or 2" and then JULIE DI CARO IS HAPPY..... which you know, that's totally not a natural thing... you know? =P

DISREGARD ALL ^^^^THIS^^^^ CUZ I SUCK ARSE. ARSENAL FINNA GO OUT LIKE 2-4 OR 1-3 TOMORROW AND ALL BUT OFFICIALLY END THE SEASON AND BASICALLY START THE MAD RUSH FOR THE 4TH PLACE TROPHY / ST TOTTERINGHAM'S DAY ALL WHILE GOING "MAN YOU KNOW WINNING ANOTHER FA CUP WOULD BE PRETTY FUCKING NICE" -- ASK LOUIS VAN GAAL ABOUT "THE PRESTIGE OF THE FA CUP" --- SOMEWHERE IN HIS PERMANENT HOME WHERE HE'S BUSY NOT MANAGING A FOOTBALL TEAM THIS YEAR [AS NO DOUBT HE'S STILL CASHING CHECKS FROM $$$MANUTD$$$

THE PRECEDING HAS BEEN YOUR FOOTBALL FORTNIGHT WITH TOMMY MCTOUGHNUTS: ARSENAL PLASTIC DU JOUR. I'D SAY GOOD LUCK AND [CITY/FAN RALLYING CRY AKIN TO "COME ON YOU GUNNERS" BUT THERE IS NO SUCH THING BECAUSE THERE'S NOT ANY ACTUAL CITY FANS OUT THERE OUTSIDE OF HILARIOUS SHIT LIKE THIS --- #SHOMERSHABBOS *POUNDS TABLE*

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The biggest benefit of an earlier than usual Arsenal meltdown is getting earlier than usual AFTV meltdowns. DT and Troopz have been trying to build their brands a lot in the last year, but Claude and Ty remain the GOATs (shoutout to Ty's hairline in this one): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnJOPZPQ9j8

Welp, Arsenal has begun the annual tradition of Arsenaling all over themselves. Down 3-0 to Bournemouth as I type this...

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Limp back to secure a fucking point. Goddamn...this fucking club is going to drive me crazy.

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