PRE-TLDR = shoutout to the C/S/FMB community en masse for never succombing to any and all [latent?] primordial urges and therefore keeping this board 99.3% UFC free since the year of our bagman 2004

so yeah, tonight i was obviously obligated by fond memories of 2003 to watch dave chappelle on "The Kate McKinnon Show" erm, "Saturday Night Live" but then i remembered "oh yeah i think there's a UFC PPV tonight and it's a conor mcgregor night!" so i popped over to #mma-tv and tossed the UFC on in time to see some kind of a goofy draw? but yeah that was the fight b4 conor mcgregor vs someguy alvarez, and welp, just like most UFC fights where you get even 1% "hyped" for the main event, by the end of the night you always remember "ohhhh fuck i forgot that these main events inexorably last for 1-3mins" because once again conor mcgregor knocked some dumbass bitchmade alvarez guy out... hell it got so obvious that conor even did this 2-3 times in a row...



naturally, since i'm a proud heterosexual male i don't have any UFC/MMA "outlets" to go and shoot the shit at, so i figured i'd come here and maybe drop that picture in a MMA/UFC thread....... BUT THERE AREN'T ANY! that's right, the C/S/FMB is seriously on some ol Arsene "Drake" Wenger from Hotling Bling steez re: UFC/MMA, hearkening the timeless catchphrase of the #1 Chicago Sports Talk Host of 2020: JASON GEORGE GOFF!!!!!! (and this is from damaneel so you know it's spot on)

i've honestly never been more proud to call myself a C/S/FMBer than i am right now cuz seriously guys, man, way to give me hope that the whole world isn't a lost cause because this weird stupid-aggro sport that often features 2 mostly naked men rolling around on the floor "grappling" each other in a desperate quest to make the other man "submit" = gee, i wonder what comes next after the "submission"



TLDR = FUCKYEAH C/S/FMB YOU GUYS ARE TOO AWESOME TO "SUBMIT" TO UFC/MMA, THE SPORT THAT PUTS THE "MO" IN "HEGEMONY" IN TERMS OF "COMBAT SPORTS"

in lieu of "combat sports" how's about if i want "combat" i'll go volunteer to have a romp in the sandbox or something else equally productive/worthwhile; if i want "sports" i'll go watch, you know, actual sports?! none of this latent homo "GOOD OL FASHIONED burrito DRAG" (-Mr. Garrison) bullshit where you spend upwards of 30mins-3hrs watching people you don't know/care about (at least you can root for the hotter chick in female fights) just so you can get to the main event, where there's like a ~50-66% chance that the fight's gonna end in under 1-4mins so literally+figuratively it's "miss a little; miss a lot" like vintage murph. c'est la gay, no?

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