He finally updated it, and the funny thing is how much higher the fees are. Previously, their advertised rate was 3.50% with an APR of 3.57%. In his new spot, the rate is 3.99% with an APR of 4.77%. He still claims those rates are "the second lowest in history."

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That Comcast commercial about going to grandma's house where the little snowflake calls it "a/k/a hell" because she doesn't have wi-fi and she will be forced to spend a few hours with her family without being able to watch shows or surf the internet. Fuck you you little bitch.

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So I like the xfinity grandparents commercial where they try to impress their tweener granddaughter...but I have seen it like 20 fuckin times in the past two years days. Change it up a little.

Franky the old school maniac.

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I get a little excited when I hear the McRib commercial and that fantastic New Wave hit, "(Oh Oh Oh, I Really Want) Seconds."

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I have never heard anybody talking about the Webb boys.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

When I hear ads for St. Charles Chrysler/Dodge/Jeep/Ram/Plymouth/whatever, it strikes me as odd that they never mention the spokesman's last name. First it was "Crazy Carlos" doing spots with Boers. Lately it's been Drinky speaking with "General Manager Alex" -- it's like they are ashamed to put their full name out there.

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In the commercial for Illinois Media School with Fred Huebner and Jonathan Hood, Hood pronounces Illinois "Ellinois."

I am IMS...

the jeep commercial with Cat Stevens

if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
'Cause there's a mill-yun things to be

Ugh.

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'Your AT&T Universal Card has arrived'? Oh God, Kick-fucking-ass, I got a Master Card! I don't believe it, man. Life is kinda cool sometimes.

Nothing that includes Cat Stevens can be bad.

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Fixed.

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'Your AT&T Universal Card has arrived'? Oh God, Kick-fucking-ass, I got a Master Card! I don't believe it, man. Life is kinda cool sometimes.

Father and Son makes me shed a tear every time.

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What about the service and the value.

For years I thought it was "and the Webb family promises why" and not "and the Webb Family Promise is why."

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This...now it finally makes sense.

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I saw that commercial for the first time this weekend and thought about your post. I would have cancelled whatever TV plan I had and served her boiled potatoes and cottage cheese for dinner.

the Panera "or something" ad. Some sanctimonious hipster millennial in such a condescending tone i can't believe they went with it.

and i hate the way she says "focaccia" as if she's trying to sound it out for the first time.

makes me want her to die in a fire or something.

Hi everyone, I'm a neoreactionary, and this Hyundai commercial for the holiday season makes me sick.

A presumably married couple goes to a Hyundai dealership to buy a car. The salesman appears to be gay through his effeminate voice and Christmas-elf costume, but he is actually peacocking and attracting the attention of females by standing out from the crowd. The beta-bucks husband is dressed like a normie because his value to the female is tied to his ability to buy a Hyundai, not his appearance or special abilities.

The female smells the salesman and remarks that he smells like nutmeg. Perhaps he is wearing Axe Nutmeg Rush. No matter why, the female is impressed with the salesman's scent on a basic, primal level. Females are powerless against pheromones like his.

After smelling the salesman and going to a cutaway, the female's outfit has transformed from post-Wall normie to the festive peacocking of the salesman. It's CLEAR what this symbolizes. By having the female appear in his style of clothing, it symbolizes that during the cutaway, when spacetime is variable and anything is possible, the car salesman has inseminated and impregnated the man's female. He has marked her as his own from the inside out! HER HUSBAND HAS BEEN CUCKED! HE'S BEEN CUCKED! THE SO-CALLED HOMO WAS ACTUALLY THE ALPHA!

Then, after another cut, the female has abandoned the pretense of her relationship with the beta and is standing alongside her new alpha, symbolically visibly pregnant with his powerful alpha seed, encouraging the cuck to buy them a Hyundai Sonata so that they can fuck in it and make him watch. She is findomming her cuck. Then, the cuck claims to hear "holiday music." This is him endorsing the relationship of the pregnant female and her alpha, deluding himself into thinking they will be poly and include him in their new family. The salesman says it's "just his ringtone." By denying the cuck this compromise, he is asserting his alpha status, showing that he and only he will be allowed to care for the baby (symbolized by the ringtone, it is ONLY HIS) he put into the cuck's female.

How can the media be complicit in such a message? WHY IS THE AUTO INDUSTRY AND (((ADVERTISING INDUSTRY))) TRYING TO CUCK HARD-WORKING AMERICAN MEN WITH GAYISH JUSTIN TRUDEAU LOOKALIKES?!?!? DO THEY WANT US TO BUY CARS OR DO THEY JUST WANT US TO BE GOOD SUBORDINATES TO A NEW WORLD ORDER AS SYMBOLIZED BY CANADIAN LEADER AND (((GLOBALIST))) JUSTIN TRUDEAU?

I won't let Canadian free-trade agreements impregnate my wife, who is an anime pillow. Fellow males, rise up and don't buy Hyundai cars and don't watch commercial breaks. We need to stand tall against a collapsing global hierarchy until we can Make America Great Again.

For more of my uncut thoughts on this one, single, 30-second spot, visit my blog at blackcathedralofbeatingofftoentouragereruns.blogspot.com.

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Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

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Homer: You know, Mr. Burns, you're the richest guy I know. Way richer than Lenny.

Mr. Burns: Yes, but I'd trade it all for a little more.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

Oh god yes. I thought the exact same thing
"hand slice avocado" oh fucking hell

And what with the Dad? He acts like he just fed a velociraptor, or something.

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OK so the car commercials are, by design, the most nauseating Christmas commercials throughout the season. But specifically, I want every Hyundai to be extremely recall-faulty for that stupid ass couple with the wife who says "You smell like nutmeeegggg" all creepy-like.

The couple was reaching speeds up to 115 MPH and could no longer control the car. It exploded on impact.

EAT SHIT

I want to stab the bottle blowers in the 7UP and Comcast "Jesse's Girl" commercials. Fuck them all.

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-- source

Goff doing commercials for real estate agent Amy Kite. Touting her expertise, he actually said "she was able to sell a friend's house for 20% more than they paid for it."

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and i heard Bernstein do a commercial for Omaha Steaks and slobber all over everything like usual....that shit is like Taco Bell quality meat, yea i'm sure the Bernstein household is stocked to the gills

it's second only to his ads for Avant or whatever that scam loan place was

"Dan. Dan. Dan. Dan. Dan. Do you, ahhhhh, do you like Omaha Steaks, Dan? Ahhhhhh, I was thinking of picking up some Omaha Steaks."
"I endorse their product."
"Ahhhh, I, ahhhh, I didn't ask you that. I KNOW YOU DO BERNSTEIN BECAUSE I HEAR YOU DO THE READ EVERY DAY. BERNSTEIN. IDIOT. I'M ASKING IF THEY'RE GOOD."
"(sigh) Well, remember, I have family in Omaha, I would assume they would similarly attest--
"AHHHH, I DON'T CARE WHERE YOUR FAMILY LIVES, BERNSTEIN, I DON'T NEED THEM TO TEST IT. I ASKED YOU."
"(sigh) If you're... (sigh) asking me to say, for instance, that I wouldn't feed it to my dogs, I am not going to say that."
"Dan, Dan, Dan, I thought you don't have dogs since White Sox baseball killed your dog nine years ago."
"(sigh) The radio we do on this show is about listening between the words."

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The Apple commercial with Frankenstein is supposed to be heartwarming but it's so heavy-handed and mawkish is makes me angry. Get the torches and pitchforks.

and the singing...why do they have to sing...