It's tense around here. People are making Jewish slurs. Christians are, as usual, arrogantly talking down to atheists.

Let's lighten things up a bit...

New Year's Eve tends to be one of the most underperforming holidays there is. Most have high hopes of champagne, cocaine, and three-ways on the party bus home. Sadly, it rarely turns out like that.

What are some of your best/worst New Years Eve stories?

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Each one so far has sucked as I've always been alive the next day.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

New Year's Eve blows.

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Very uplifting start to the thread by Boyd and Tiny.

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We had never done the big city expensive New Years Party so we decided to do one some time in our early twenties. We bought the expensive hotel and party package. The buffet was good and the open bar was as well stocked as you would hope for the price of the night. The issue was the DJ must have been unable to hear or feel because the music was so loud that you could feel it in your chest no matter where you were. By 10:30pm, my future wife had a terrible migraine from it and we spent the next hour and 15 minutes in the room, went down to get a little more to eat, do the countdown and I got a drink and we were back up in the room for good by 12:10. I was in the weird stage of slightly drunk but also feeling bad because she felt so bad and not really in a great mood to enjoy the festivities. She was feeling bad and also feeling bad that the night was a bust because she couldn't handle the outrageously loud music.

My best ones have either just been the ones I hung out at a friends house and I had a decent time at North Beach in Downers Grove for one but that was basically just like a night out at the bar.

I won't be sad sitting at home this year.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Oddly while New Year's Eve has always sucked ass for me, I generally tend to have had absolute blasts on New Year's Day, hangovers of years ago permitting. My funniest Aunt always has a very low key casual dinner that's always a good time. It doesn't hurt that it's only populated by the half of the family without their hands perpetually out.

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There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

It's an annual amateur hour shitshow where all the prices are ridiculously jacked up, and morons puke all over their nice clothes.

The worst of them all involved my then fiancee's brilliant idea to have some family and friends up to the house, including my future in-laws (her parents). Then she decided to invite my raging asswipe of a sperm donor and his alcoholic Caller Bob of a wife. Then, without my knowledge, she offered them the sofa sleeper in the basement so they didn't drive. Which of course led to a solidly embarrassing night of them acting like drunken assholes and my dad passing out at like 11, while his wife sat on my couch crying about something. What it was, I don't completely know, because I decided to go outside and hang out in the garage because I was completely embarrassed by their behavior.

The 2 best New Year's Eves I've had in my entire life have involved sitting at home, and that includes 2 years ago when my uber-pregnant wife went to bed at like 9 o'clock, and I fell asleep soon after because I had a 101 degree fever, and the other one, I was alone in my apartment watching movies.

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Early '90s went to a bar in The Mecca. One of the guys we were with got sick on the balcony and puked from the second floor onto the dance floor while U2s New Years Day was playing.

They kicked him out. We found him a couple days later in the pre-cell phone days.

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You know me like that.

I had a similar experience. A girl I used to date and I got a room downtown at the Hilton and seats for their New Year's dinner or ball or whatever they call it - a black tie event. She had connections that got us a hook-up because there's no way I could have afforded that shit at that age... the seats were several thousand dollars apiece.

That type of atmosphere and party just isn't my thing. We had a seven-course meal with the palate cleansers and all that and of course you get like two ounces of filet with weird vegetables you've never even heard of (anyone who says they'd rather have that shit over a Big Mac is either lying or stupid). We did the countdown and all that and then it was just over. It was kind of weird, and it was definitely boring, IMO.

I'd much rather sit at home, play some games, drink a bit, and eat some good food.

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That's funny boyd.
But I must say when I met your dad I found him to be fun and delightful.
Perhaps it was a good day.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Yup... my best New Year's Eve ever was two years ago when my daughter was born (today is her birthday). My wife and I were on the East Coast, so no family was around. We had one of those little rooms the hospital gives you with 24-hour help from a nurse for the baby. We just chilled in that little room, ordered some pizza, and watched TV. No expectations, great time.

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My mom had a quadruple bypass done on NYE 2007.

Went to a wedding with my now wife the first year we were dating. We got pretty hammered and had fun, but the best was they brought out mini burgers at like 11. I think I had 6 or 7 of them as they were fucking amazing.

I think thats the best for me

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I've always had pretty good NYEs. One that always sticks out we drove around to a couple different parties and ended up at one about 15 minutes before midnight. I guy I had always had a huge crush on that was 2 years older than me was there. We ended up kissing at midnight and didn't really stop. People left the room so we could be alone.

I spent one at home alone because I decide I had enough or the group that I was hanging out with. That was a little sad but it was the right decision.

We've never really gone to a bar or done one of those packages.

I enjoyed both experiences at the Rosemont Hyatt Regency party.
It's like 275 for both my wife and I, open bar, some food like burgers brats and dogs, and a hotel room with parking. Tony ocean! And a dj, a couple bands. The place was freaking insane until 3am or so... people running about and acting nuts. It's was like a frat house. Good times.
Went once with my brother and his wife and once with doug and his wife.
Good value for the room booze food and entertainment.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

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He was on better behavior when that bitch isn't around. Now it doesn't matter. He shit all over the family on Christmas, and they've finally gotten to the point with him that I was at a year ago when he decided to start coming after me on Facebook.

Good fucking times, happy fucking holidays.

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yeah, that was pretty fun. probably a top contender for me.

NYE 1999 cool since we all thought we were gonna die or reset to 1900. had a huge party in our band loft-practice space. it was awesome.

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@audioidkid

Dude I lived in an apartment complex in Addison on nye 99. It was like block apartments... each building had 4 on the ground floor and 4 above them. We were friends with the guys that lived above us and on one side. Two other units were vacant and didn't really know the other folks. So that night everyone was jammed into our unit and the unit above us. Now... the breakers for the building were completely accessible from the main laundry room, so at midnight the upstairs neighbor Jim cut the master breaker and ran out screaming about y2k. It was somewhat alarming for a moment but it was funny once we figured out the other buildings lights were still on.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Actually I remember a decent story from NYE from 2005 or 2006. Some friends were living in a house in Lincoln Park and threw a giant party. They had champagne and I ended up spraying a couple all over the place, but nobody really got mad or anything. One friend got WAY too drunk and had to leave. We took the train up there and while I was pretty drunk, I was with it enough to walk us back to the EL so I said I would take him home. My friend was getting his coat and shoes on, so I went and said goodbyes. Came back maybe 3 or 4 minutes later and he only had one shoe on. He was so drunk he couldn't find his other shoe. I got sick of waiting, so I picked up a random shoe and told him to put it on and that was that.

The next morning I found out that I ended up picking up some Air Jordan gym shoe, or something like that...anyway it was like a $200 pair of shoes and the guy who owned them was pissed. My friend ended up getting the expensive shoe back to the guy who owned it. Turns out that my idiot friend actually wore 2 different shoes to the party, which is why he had trouble finding his second one to begin with.

I guess now that I have typed this and read it, its not that good a story. JoeOrr light

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The only really bad one I have had was the time I sat in, which was only because we recently had a baby. Everyone was asleep before midnight but me. I was drinking Guiness and watching a bowl game that went into OT and ended just minutes before midnight. Looking back now, even that isn't all that bad of a night.

I threw some great NYE parties back when I first got married. People were still coming in at 2 am after bars had closed. I would wear a tuxedo but with jeans because you know I'm the life of the party.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

One NYE in the early 80s my friends and I drove around drinking beer and smoking weed in my Toyota Celica because we had no girls. It was snowy and we went to the parking lot in James Park and I did a bunch of donuts. Then we parked on the little side street in front of South Blvd. Beach to drink and get high. At about 1 in the morning a couple came home to one of the apartments across the street from the beach. The dude was drunk and the chick was a smoking hot blonde with huge jugs. We were in our late teens, they were probably mid-twenties. We made fun of the guy and hey babied the girl. When they got up the their apartment the girl came to the window and gave us a tit shot. Good times.

In the mid-eighties we threw a huge party in our practice space at 1019 W. Lake Street. It was one of the first Hazardous Youth shows and one of the last Maggots shows, maybe the last. A bunch of other bands played, Teens In Heat, Tiddlywinks, some others. That was a pretty good one.

In 2000-01 I was in Key West. It was record cold. Watched a drag queen in a conch drop and got loaded on DuVall Street. Went back to my in-laws condo and banged my ex-wife on the living room floor.

The last couple I've spent at Stained Glass Bistro. Pretty low key, but drunk enough.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

It was either freshman or sophomore year at U of I (1994/1995) we hung out on campus for New Year's. My buddy was pledging some frat, and he claimed we had permission to crash there after the bars. So we get there, pretty much on the verge of passing out, some guy we don't know pulled the fire alarm. Within what seemed like minutes firemen were at the front door demanding to be let in. I'm not really sure what we were thinking, I guess maybe if we ignored them they'd go away, so they were getting more and more pissed. Finally someone let them in, and they were irate, running around like crazy seeing if there was fire. So, pretty much immediately as the firemen stormed the place, my other buddy, who can rock a piano (are pianos rockable?), crawled over to the piano, still on his knees to be pretty much out of sight, starts playing Sabre Dance. Hearing this, the firemen are pretty much about to lose their minds, but they're actually going faster now, and the entire scene is set to the perfect score. It was about the funniest thing I've ever seen, even though it lasted maybe 45 seconds, as my buddy scurried away quickly when they got done searching the place. Somehow, none of us got in trouble for any of it.

This was only part one of the night. Once my one buddy's pledge dad(?) got there, he let us know that we absolutely had no permission to stay there and tried to forcibly throw us out. Hi-jinks ensued, and we left on our own accord. As we left, the frat douche is screaming at us through a closed window, and my piano playing friend from a good 30 feet away, picked up a snowball and just gunned it perfectly into the window. The guy loses his mind, runs out the front door and does the whole "buddies holding him back" thing. We were all like, let him go, it's fine, but they never did, so they eventually went back inside and we left without further incident.

I don't have JORR storytelling skills, and i know this screams Did. Not. Happen. but it definitely did. I'll never forget the firemen running around frantically to Sabre Dance. It was just perfect.

Chas' 2011 NYE posts.

They were all day, they were all over, and they were great.

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I've gone to a few NYE concerts that were a fun time. The best and probably the best show I have ever seen in my lifetime was The White Stripes & The Flaming Lips on NYE 2003 at The Aragon. The show was incredible and I got to smoke a fat J on the floor.

The worst would be the couple of times I have been sick on NYE and did nothing. A couple years ago I didn't even make it til midnight.

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Beta

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Best: staying in with the wife and molly.
worst: every single time I attempted to go out for NYE

This year: Gonna give Korean BBQ a try, checking out San Soo Gab San.

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I've always liked the Stained Glass, though I haven't been in at least a year.

We used to have parties all the time, pre-kids. One year, about 25 of us watched VHS's of The Muppet Show, doing a shot every time Ms. Piggy insulted someone (It happens A LOT). Then we counted down with Telemundo.

For Y2K, we made emergency jello shots (for when the world ended). We decided to hit the bars before midnight, so we dumped the shots into baggies. We spent the rest of the night doing baggie shots in between beers at the bar.

Now, wife and kid #2 fall asleep early, while kid #1 & I play Xbox. Exciting stuff.

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I was sick as a dog for Y2K. That was the year I had a crazy 19 year old girlfriend. She was in Italy on a school trip. She called me all wasted and said, "Buon anno!"

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

FYI, no NYE is complete without a viewing of the shit show on ABC with Mark Giangreco and what's her face. LOVE that show, it never disappoints. My personal favorite year was the year that Giangreco called in sick, but they had so little to talk about that they ended up calling him on the phone and having him co-host from bed. I also like to watch just to see just how far away and middle of nowhere they send Black Hossa for the night.

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Best was 2008. Had a two week break to come home in between basic training and AIT for Xmas and NYE. Met up with a bunch of friends from high school and just generally had a blast.

Worst was 2010. Had to do Staff Duty(24 hour duty in the Army) and ended up getting in a fight with a drunk PFC and spent the next two hours calling chain of command and doing paperwork.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul