Some idiot insured just called up because, apparently, his old man died recently and got this gem of a quote from him:

We were wondering if he had any life policies that we weren't aware of that we can collect on.

He said it in quite the jaunty little tone, too.

Now, despite my bored persona, I can hear and see pretty much anything and not betray the slightest reaction, but that sentence - even if there wasn't anything nefarious about it and it was just a case of it being stated in a terribly indelicate manner - got a clear and reflexive Jiggetts-like "hmmmmmmmm" out of me. At least I stopped it there and didn't continue on with a 'coat drive' or 'spinnin' buckets' coda.

For those wondering, no, there was nothing they ('they', btw, seemed like a convenient pronoun replacement for 'I' imo) could collect on.

What a ghoulish moondick asswipe.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Lol you never know how the relationship is between the family members was before the death. Im almost certain I would say the exact same thing to someone after my parents died because of my incredible relationship with both of them.

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I witnessed a conversation like this once and in the end, though not through the insurance agent I was having a conversation with, the old man had a few policies his boys didnt know about . It wasn't that they weren't close but the Dad was a bit.. secretive when it came to finances, especially once his boys got married. Didn't trust the wives apparently.

Thanks to some above and beyond help from our tax lady and my wife spending ~4 hours on the phone, we were able to track down to the penny where our IRA money came from. Now we are getting a decent refund from the Feds, and a little bit from the State!

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went to my usual burger place for lunch and they gave me the wrong order. Which, if it were any one of their ~15 burgers, i'd have pretty much been ok with it as they're all good. But what i got was some kind of lo-carb lettuce wrapped burger. So I got a single burger patty, a slice of tomato and like half a head of iceberg lettuce. Who the fuck orders something like that ??

Commies

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Did not get Tool tickets this morning.

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@audioidkid

That looks like someone who posts here.

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That stinks. I was trying to figure out when it was when I saw them at the Aragon and I am pretty sure it was late 1996 or early 1997. Time flies.....

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Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

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Successful calls:

Kyrie Irving will never win anything as a team's alpha: check
T.rubisky is a bust: check
Ben Simmons is a liability: check
The Fields Cult is dumb: double check

2013 CSFMB ROY

I came home tonight to the declaration by my wife that we would be dog sitting for a week. In fact, the owner (my wife's suburban wine-o friend) was at my house when I got home. I was never told this previously.

Not only that... my wife was on her way out to meet a different friend for dinner! So I was here with me, my 2 yr old daughter, my perfectly behaved 70 lb dog, and this bitch ass 20 lb cocker spaniel who needs some manners.

We are a few hours in, and he's learning his role. It took my dog kicking his ass a couple times and me limiting his space, but we're getting there. It took a good 15 minutes to get the little fuck to sit until I released him to eat. These people should pay me Milan money to train their fuckin dog while they're on vacation.

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Thats not cool. It sounds like you need to train your wife more than the dog(s).

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How did you get stuck with the wrong threesome?

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Hawaii (fuck) You

I've tried. She's untrainable.

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I'm a middle-aged dad with a boring life and an addiction to Sun Chips?

I'd put more thought into it, but the orphan dog just threw up in the foyer.

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I'd tell her to go fuck herself. Why can't she board it?

Sun Chips are the betaest of snacks. I can't stand them.

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-- source

And get control of your house, man. God damn.

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-- source

I hate cocker spaniels, notorious face biters of children, I'd watch that fuck like a hawk around your kids.

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This cocker spaniel would be humping your leg to show dominance if he was in your tent (I assume you're homeless). I've already got him laying in the corner and emerging on command.

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You and I are kindred spirits, 312. You know I've already got this fuck locked down and waiting for commands.

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Leash has a weak pimp hand. Maybe I shouldn't have voted the way I did?

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Elections have consequences.

leashyourwife

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Sex isn't dirty, sex isn't a crime. It's a loving act between two or more consenting adults.

-Hank Kingsley

I'm in an Uber and the dope just got pulled over for running a red light. Feeling annoyed.

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The Court will accord substantial deference to the government's immigration policies, particularly those that implicate matters of national security.

Galloping Ghost now charges $20 per person for entry; and if you've got kids, you'd better sack up because they charge that rate for each one. Gouging Ghost. Sad!

Ehh... She lets a lot of shit go that other wives would bitch about. Hard to fault her for this one.

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No one ever stops by when they're in my hometown. They added a bunch of cabinets, $20 still isn't bad, not like there's any competition for them.