[quote="C_Howitt_Fealz"]I have never viewed Greenjeans, John Jackson, Ed Wastes my Time Sherman, or Robert Feder as "critics." I have always read them as more of media gossip columnist (a Kupcinet column reporting on the happenings of the media).[/quote
You know what? You're right. Excellent point.
I think this board is the place to go for real criticism of sports media, anyway. Therefore, I would like to announce that I will not compromise my integrity or create the appearance of impropriety by ever filling in as a guest host on any show. Prior to the Greenstein controversy, I thought I might get to do some hosting on the Score, though, so I was preparing by developing several styles that might fit any time slot in which I was asked to appear.
For example, say the day before, Soriano was the tying run on third in the 9th and tried to steal home and was out by 20 feet. If I was hosting morning drive, I'd say:
"He's a moron! If a white guy did dat, you know what dey'd be sayin'? Obama's pastor would probly be damnin' him from da pulpit next Sunday! Now here's Jen wit da latest news about what Drew Peterson's doin' an' who got in da Rock an' Roll Hall uh Fame."
But if I was put in the 10-12 slot, it'd probably be more like, "UNBELIEVABLE!!!! Oh, my giddy aunt, what was he thinking?! We say, "Alfonso, what were you doing?! You say . . .?"
12-2, I'd have to go, "Man, I wrote down so many notes on my yellow pad about that play, I don't know where to start. Scoreheads, help me analyze this. Was he running on his own or did this come from Lou? Hey, why not head over to Brown's right now for a Maxwell Street Polish. What was the third base coach doing during this whole sequence? And, what about this? If the Cubs lose, who does it help? The Brewers. I see the hand of Bud Selig in all of this."
Afternoon drive would have to be, "Why does anyone care about this? It's one game in a 162-game season, people. Now all the meatballs will be calling and demanding Soriano be traded or benched or something. It's people's reactions to something like this that make me embarrassed to live in Chicago."
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