Curious Hair wrote:
PARKINS: Transition on the Score is brought to you by boner pills and loan sharks. Bernstein and Goff are here.
SPIEGEL: How was your football weekend, fellas?
BERNSTEIN: Fine. It was fine. I didn't watch any of it but it was fine.
SPIEGEL: Sounds like you started your weekend in the shotgun position!
BERNSTEIN: What was that? Seriously. What was that. I had DVRed 2001: A Space Odyssey from the night before because the wife's a Kubrick nut, when just as they're disassembling HAL I hear from the basement, "UH, ACTUALLY, shotgun position has NO bearing on receiver eligibility following defender contact, even an ultimately correct misinterpretation of the rules could have ramifications on future games!" and I figure he's just getting mad at a Madden glitch or something but apparently my guy Ed Hochuli is losing it! He's kept his arrrms but he's lost his head!
GOFF: Yeah my kid just pooped himself during that. He doesn't think he's a lawyer yet, Dan.
SPIEGEL: Yeah, so did mine. Anyway, Danny, you had yourself a football weekend! Heard you pulled a Sunday shift with our old pal Mac!
PARKINS: Hey, I'm just being a team player.
BERNSTEIN: I'm (sigh)
GOFF: UH OH HERE IT COMES
BERNSTEIN: (sigh) I'm just glad one person in the building was.
GOFF: HERE COME THE TEXTS! YOU DID IT NOW BERNSTINE! YOU JUST LIT UP ALL OF NORTHWEST INDIANA
BERNSTEIN: Lit it on fire?
SPIEGEL: No, the text l--
GOFF: Oh I think if Northwest Indiana catches fire we'll know who struck the match. damaneeeeel.
PARKINS: Look, I think we're all happy to welcome Mac back to the Score family, I learned a lot from him--
GOFF: don't learn too much
PARKINS: --and I hope we can work together again in the future.
SPIEGEL: I'm right here, you know.
PARKINS: I know, I'm just saying--
SPIEGEL: No, no, go on, talk about how Mac found you on his doorstep, how he taught you everything you know, we don't have any sort of professional relationship predicated on mutual trust here, it's fine.
PARKINS: We had fun, we talked some investments, it was a good lead-in to a big Sunday of football and I hope we can do it again.
GOFF: What time y'all start, 7? 8? What kind of chemical enhancements does it take for a damaneeel to start working at 7--
BERNSTEIN: or at all
GOFF: --or 8 in the morning, huh? Did he say he just had powdered donuts for breakfast when he came in? He give you that line? Because those weren't powdered donuts. We know.
SPIEGEL: Well, even if he jeopardized my career several times and threatens to do so again, I suppose I will concur that it's good to have Mac back at the Score.
PARKINS: Dan wants to say something.
BERNSTEIN: (sigh) All I will say is that...(sigh) as Spiegs alluded to, to the extent that radio is still a business at all in 2018, this is a relationship business. And you thrive and survive on your relationships with sponsors and supervisors. And co-workers, to a lesser degree. But...this is a station that -- and it's arguably owed to our genesis on Belmont, as this person knows -- that retains memories, that doesn't forget, and in a number of instances doesn't forgive.
GOFF: heeeeey. Jerome. don't wanna talk about the other shoooow.
BERNSTEIN: And while I know that I, personally, have no problem acting in a professional manner, I...cannot speak for everyone at this station who has either heard the battle stories or has the battle scars, and who may be less welcoming to past and present employees who have proven themselves not to have their sponsors' and bosses' best interests at heart. So it is with those people in mind that I can welcome this person back to the Score in a limited capacity with the appropriate and necessary administrative oversight.
SPIEGEL: Wow, suddenly after that, I feel much better.
PARKINS: What, about Mac's prospects of taking back the midday show?
SPIEGEL: No, just about myself in general!
ALL: hahahahahahaha
This is really flawless work
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