Post your stories of interactions with others where you think you were in the right, but seemingly everyone else says you were the asshole. We'll decide the truth. I'll kick it off:

Shopping yesterday at a warehouse store around 2PM, and it is packed to the gills. Every register is staffed and packed at least 6 deep with people in line. I saddle up behind two older women, likely in their 70's or thereabouts, and estimate my wait time to begin to put my items on the belt at about 10-15 minutes.

As I begin to place my items on the belt, I notice that the transaction of the women in front of me seems to have hit some sort of snag, and look up to realize that their cart full of items was actually intended to be two separate purchases, one for each woman. One woman was settling up with the cashier in cash, with the other waiting to have her items scanned.

I thought nothing of it and continued to wait to put all my items on the belt. After the second woman's items were finished being scanned and the total read, she also reached into her purse to pull out bills to pay in cash, except I noticed that this transaction, like the one before her, was also taking a long time, even for paper money. After what must have been a total 10 minutes of waiting with my items on the belt, I paid closer attention, and realized that the second woman was trying to make exact change. I cringed a little bit, but hey, who doesn't like to get rid of some extra coin laying around?

As I watched, the transaction continued to drag on, with the cashier telling the woman she hadn't made exact change yet, at which point she dug into her purse for more coins. Finding none to make exact change, her friend came back to the register and opened her purse to begin looking for change to meet the exact amount. It is important to note here that the desire to make exact change was not due to a lack of money.

I'm getting fidgety as I watch, with near half an hour wasted standing in line, when the two take the next step and begin exchanging coins between themselves so that the one can make exact change. I can't take any more:

"Is this a bank," I asked, "Because I don't think this is a bank. I thought this was a grocery store on one of the busiest shopping days of the year, not a place to screw around with coins."

They hustled their transaction to a close after that, and when I pulled up the cashier apologized profusely.

TL;DR: At a big-box store yesterday, two women held up the line to make exact change. I said something to them about it for all to hear.

Am I The Asshole [for this specific instance and not others]?

Not necessarily, but poor line scouting.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

TL;DR

Yes.

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Did you consider just throwing at single dollar and saying "It's on me, Happy Holidays!"

Shit. No I did not. Can't tell if that would Super Boss or Super Snarky.

Getting in line behind anyone over the age of 60 is asking for trouble. Asshole status confirmed.

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Yea, I always consider it but then chicken out because I think ultimately, I'd look like a jerk.

No. They may have thought they were being helpful in making exact change, in which case they needed to realize that they were not being helpful. Whatever the case is, they needed to account for the presence of other people. Sometimes, it is ok to remind people of that.

Doesn't matter; they may have refused it because it wasn't exact change.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

I've told this story before, and it has become something of a board meme.

MANY years ago, I was at Binny's getting two things for a Super Bowl party my wife and I were going to the next day-- A 30 pack of High Life, and a bottle of wine. The woman in front of me was smokin', and the cashier was trying his absolute best to flirt with her and she was having none of it. Her transaction was complete, and he commented to me how smitten he was with her. I put my two items on the counter, and he says my total, $8 and something. He was so flustered and awe struck from the hot girl that he only scanned the wine. I pay the total he tells me, take both of my items, and walk out.

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Was the cashier fired for slow service in our modern data-driven age?

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Cashier should have called corporate.

Mr. Fancy-pants over here

You're the asshole for bringing low quality wine to a party.

"You know what this party needs? Cooking sherry!"

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Rick Hahn is the best GM in baseball.

Grocery stores are one of the worst places for people's lack of awareness of others. Especially couples that grocery shop. Why you would want to do that as a couple in the first place is beyond me, but if you are in a grocery aisle with your cart on one side, and you and your partner are standing opposite it looking at the shelf, you have left no room for anyone to get past you. And while your discussion regarding the blueberry bagel vs everything bagel may be of importance to you, I can assure you that I do not care at all and just want to get past you to the bread.

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"All crowds boycotting football games shouldn't care who sings or takes a knee because they aren't watching." - Nas

Was this the same party you brought uncooked chicken wings and handed them to the host?

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

"You know what this party needs? IMU," said nobody ever.

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what? Miss a little, miss a lot

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Rick is confused. I think the chicken wing guy was Kirkwood.

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I believe Frank once proposed the IDEA of offering to bring Wings which the host would then cook.

I guess he just suggested bringing uncooked chicken wings to a party.
http://chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=110638&p=2894291&hilit=+wings#p2894291

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Yeah it was.

Well we certainly both know one guy that said that.

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Rick Hahn is the best GM in baseball.

I forgot about that. Good stuff

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

I'm bringing a sack of raw potatoes tomorrow. Hopefully my cousin is good with mashing them.

hopefully someone brings a Hershey's kiss for the stuffing

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

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This didn't involve me but I witnessed it up close.

I was having breakfast at Lou Mitchell's at the counter and sat next to a young hipster couple who told the waitress they were going to split an omelet. After a short wait, the server brought them their food. The omelet they ordered had been cut in two and placed on separate plates (if you've eaten at Lou's, you know the portions are huge, so it almost looked like two full entrees). I thought the waitress had done her job well and was trying to be accommodating.

Not only did the couple think otherwise, they were seriously offended that the waitress had the food put on separate plates. They went on about how they wanted to pick the food from the same plate because it was more intimate and that the waitress was ruining their experience. Although the waitress didn't not want to remake the food, they refused to accept it and it was ultimately sent back to be redone.

Was the waitress wrong to assume they wanted separate plates? Was the couple wrong for sending it back?

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"All crowds boycotting football games shouldn't care who sings or takes a knee because they aren't watching." - Nas