My then 12 year old son almost knocked out an usher after he confronted his angry older brother after an upset loss at Wrigley. I actually caught his arm mid swing, thank God.

Of course we actually topped that the next season when an opposing coach got really mouthy after his son got an hbp leaning over the plate.

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There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

Baseball related, myself and 7 others, mostly juniors got bounced off a state championship level squad for chipping in to buy a bottle of Jack that never got opened. This was during our first trip of the season to SIU. No games had been played yet. Extreme overreaction by the head coach. They tried to get us to pin it on a scrub so 7 of us could get back on the team. We stuck together and told them to fuck off. Best team they ever had.

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Elections have consequences.

I was a few years older so we were never on the same field but I did get to participate in morning football weightlifting with a 2 time state champion football player and current greatest coach in the history of Minnesota............therefore it is me.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

I played at NIU and scored on a 80 yard bomb in Huskie Stadium.

Unfortunately, we lost the flag football championship.

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Sex isn't dirty, sex isn't a crime. It's a loving act between two or more consenting adults.

-Hank Kingsley

I backhanded another player in the face when he was trying to grab the ball out of my hands after a whistle.

Pretty sure it was this game:

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Who wears short shorts? We wore short shorts. I gotta couple a similar pre MJ pics of me wearing same.

Long socks and short shorts were the choice of champions...pre MJ. The pic is circa March 1984

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I can't compete with KDdidit running like Riggins or Golden Jet throwing one down poster-style, but here I am relaxing on the sideline in the late stages of an 11-0 victory over St. Francis de Sales.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

December, 83 I was the last cut on JV. We were stacked. 84-86 in state tourney we were 2, 1 my senior year, then 2. I end up a runner...I was good but not really good. We looked like the Globetrotters man. It was bad. MJ comes along a couple years later and saves face for us pubescent pricks.

MJ was the greatest for MANY reasons.

Yes. Though my being on the team had no impact on us winning.

I coached a kid who took second.

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We didn't win a state championship, but at least one year I'm sure we were the best team in the state. We didn't lose a game all year. The Sectional was a four team round robin. Both us and Evanston went 2-0-1 in summary beating the other two teams and tying each other. Evanston advanced because the tiebreaker was goal differential. They went on to win the championship. That really hurt because Evanston was my local school and I had friends on their team.

Like you, I wasn't an impact player. It was a lot of fun to be on a team with so many great players though.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Hey Seacrest, aren't you going to provide commentary on this? Were you guys in the white or dark jerseys? What number were you? It looks like this game was in Arlington Heights, right?

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

This shows you how bad memories can be. I just looked it up to make sure I was remembering right. Evanston actually was second to Granite City South. Granite City South was pretty unbeatable in that era. They won the state championship every year. I know for sure that one year the only games we lost were to Granite City North and Granite City South. I still think we could have beaten South the year Evanston eliminated us.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

I peaked as an athlete in 7th grade

I remember playing 7th grade basketball for St. Nicks. It was fun playing all the local catholic schools with white kids. In 8th grade it was different. We were all the school’s studs and big guys and we knew we were the shit. Then we would run into a school on a tournament or something and here is a St. Basil’s staring at us. That was my first white guys can’t jump or dribble or be fast etc lesson in life.

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Elections have consequences.

North Suburban Conference champion my junior year in golf. 4 year varsity letterman. Never made it past sectionals as a team or individual as I always seemed to choke and miss it by a shot or two. Always thought it was stupid that golf was a fall sport. It's a spring sport in Wisconsin. I played one year of varsity basketball my junior year but didn't go out for my senior year due to no playing time the year before and a new coach was coming in and I was quite certain he was going to be playing all the kids he had coached on the sophomore team. Played 2 years of junior college golf in the Chicago area and qualified for the NJCAA championships my second season which was played down in Pinehurst, NC. Good experience and a nice course. I finished T-30 and took 3rd in the long drive competition. It's been all downhill for me from there.

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Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami

You never had the makings of a junior varsity athlete?

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I made the freshman baseball team but then got cut when they didn't have enough uniforms to go around.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

I dislocated a guy's shoulder and concussed another guy during my HS wrestling career. Also had an opposing coach stop a match because his wrestler was screaming in fear/agony (mostly fear, I think). At one point my teammates even referred to me as the "King of Pain"!

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Warren

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You had quite a glorious head of hair in your heyday.

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JV basketball. We had the same problem but had extra warm up tops. I still remember the coach during a blow out trying to sub three of us in and getting the same response “No jersey coach”. I think that was the final straw for a few parents and begat the creation of a freshman team. I was a lanky point forward on that team and started (it was not much of an accomplishment) but after hurting me knee following cross country season I was done with manifesting the continuity of the offense (our coach was bizarre)

Beyond that 4 year varsity on tennis. Developed a wicked first serve junior and senior year but between aches and pains in the shoulder (could barely lift arm elbow past shoulder after season ended) and the need of mental coach I developed the hips towards end of season and forgot how to serve.

close. 2nd in State in hockey my senior year 1988. First time the championship was ever held at the Chicago Stadium which ended up being a bad thing for us. Ice was total crap, very soft and we only played 2 lines. Mt. Carmel played 4 lines. They had already won the previous 2 titles. We blew a 2 goal lead in the 3rd after running out of gas.

That was our only loss in 1988. Myself, I wasn't much of a player at that time. Definitely wasn't one of the better players. Was close to 250 lbs and played defense. Wasn't till I quit hockey for a decade, played a ton of basketball and lost 80 lbs that I brought my game to a different level. Came back to hockey as a 185 pound center and it was night and day, was just as good if not better than the guys who went away to play college and was the fastest guy on the ice.

I wasn't the greatest high school athlete here, but I would bet I'm in the running for the best post-high school athlete on the board. Hockey and basketball only though.

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We won the Football State Championship in 2A when I was a freshman.
4 years of football, 4 years of baseball. We never got past the regional championship in baseball. Made it every year, we just couldn't beat Wauconda.

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@audioidkid

He still does. It's just on his chin now.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Have you not heard of JORR's amazing feats of bicycle endurance?

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

Vibranium bats are a game changer

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