What sayeth thou? It's another year, another chance to topple the Football Death Stars across Europe like our Liverpudlian Masters did a year before us. I had started up my usual comprehensive guide to each of the major teams, but some kind of save as draft error eradicated a pretty good bit of work. I'll try to recreate the magic here at a Buffalo Wild Wings.

- Manchester City -- Everyone's favorite EPL football death star seemingly hasn't done much, but did they really have to? They're turning down £72mil from Buyern for Leroy Sane, so methinks they're liable to sleepwalk to another 90pts+ season in the EPL and ???GO FISH??? on Europe, as usual.

- Liverpool -- did they shoot their wad last year? Will England's Brave Ox™®© return from injury to help raise Liverpool to unachievable heights like, say, their first PL title? Suffice to say they didn't have to go an add a Nicolas Pepe or anything. We Go Again™®© again?

- Spurs -- Tottnumb is prolly better than Arsenal this year if only because they have a defense + midfield, aka a spine! It'd be amusing to see Eriksen go to United while Bruno Fernandes is brought in to replace him. Still, Poch runs a tight ship and they're prolly overall more solid than Arsenal.

-- Arsenal -- #realtalk I didn't know who Nicolas Pepe was until the news popped up that >we were signing him. A perfunctory glance at his stats shows 9/22 goals in Ligue 1 last year were from the penalty spot so hey at least there's another guy on the team who can keep Özil from taking penalties. >We have yet to shore up the defense, but >our marketing department knows how to throw out sexy hipster cred building names of 20yr old CB units from Leizipig in the wake of united signing England's Brave Arry McGuire. Shoulda bid €55mil+1p and stayed true to the meme! If all else fails i like to think there's a reason I bought a Calum Chambers kit in August 2014.

- Man United -- splashing some cash but still generally the same lot led by lukaku and the ghost of Alexis "dogshit" Snachez going forward. If martial and rashford are gonna flip the a to an e in "Faces of Europa" now might be a pretty decent time to do it? Still kind of bang average as far as Should-Be superpowers go, but are they more Inter than Juve as time goes on? Mmmmm

- Chelsea -- Hazard's gone, Costa's still gone, Higuain's gone, whatshisface from RM is gone and Olivier "HFB" Ground is still there while there's a transfer ban on... Still more solid than Arsenal at their core, but definitely gettable this year.

ACROSS EUROPE

- Barcelona -- they turned getting Griezmann and one of the Dutch wonder kids from Ajax into a relatively ho-hum off season. It'll be amusing to see Barca jettison Griezmann and run back to Neymar if things don't work out this year. When I watched them take on Arsenal Dembele looked like a legit dumbass out on the left wing

- Real Madrid -- Supposedly Mourinho is already lined up to replace Zidane? LOLWAT? Evidently nobody wants Gareth "The Golfer" Bale, as he can't even slink off to China. Hell I think they're stuck with James Rodriguez too as Buyern didn't fancy him for another year. Is having Bale and James as surplus to requirements really a horrible fate? I guess we'll see as everyone's least/favorite football soap opera churns on for another season.

- Buyern/Juve/P$G -- sleepwalks thru regular season and maybe something in March? Lord knows they're around enough. Something could happen. Kind of like Nicolas Pepe.

So yeah I reckon that's about it. It's a pity Arsenal don't have a defense cuz in theory they could have enough attacking to actually do something beyond the occasional FA Cup (a trophy you generally "don't lose" more times than you actually "win") cuz if Liverpool shot their wad last year while Spurs and Chelsea and United are all pretty blah at their core.... Yeah you just kinda wish Arsenal had a defense.

MIDTABLE FOOTBALL: You're not going up, you're not going down, you're just going... to the liquor store! #CestLaArse

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Pochettino doesn't seem happy with Spurs.

You kind of hope for a spoiler to make for interesting season but who knows.

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Arsenal looks good so far. Granted it's only 2 games but still.

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VAR screwing City again against Spurs

While technically probably the right call, that was horrible.

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Early contender for hot take of the season right here.

Biggest reason for BREXIT!

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it's getting to the point, as a Citeh fan, where you pull for someone else to win....

it's just not fair anymore. I mean that....I have a harder and harder time being a fan of the Death Star.

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Ба́бушка гада́ла, да на́двое сказа́ла—то ли до́ждик, то ли снег, то ли бу́дет, то ли нет.

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Yeah today was rough.

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Horrendous officiating at the end of the Villa match. Should have ended 1-1.

Love seeing Pulisic in the EPL. May have to be a Chelsea fan for that, since my Rovers seem forever stuck in the Championship.

Norwich beating City was fun.

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Arsenal looks good again.

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About that...

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Hammers beat United.

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VAR continues to suck.

That's where the NFL is gonna go eventually and it's gonna be an even bigger shitshow.

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Arsenal storms back to get the win at home against Aston Villa.

Big answer to last week's lethargy.

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City's defense is abysmal. Someone else lifts the trophy this year.

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The top Arsenal bar in Dublin is 5 blocks from my hotel. Heading over Monday night to watch them hopefully pound ManYoo.

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you just figured this out? Dude... #YNWA is a battle cry this year cuz it stands for You're Not Winning Anything! #LiverpoolQuintuple (Prem, FA, League Cup, CL, FIFA CWC) -- hell you could argue a #LiverpoolSextuple of you wanna add their ties in the David Moyes Memorial Shield (aka Community Shield) and the UEFA Supercup together.

#WeGoAgain #YWNJFT96A

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Dublin, Ireland or Dublin, Ohio?

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

Brighton hanging it on the Spurs this morning !

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Yeah. There are a lot of Spurs fans with boo boo faces in the pub right now.

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Spurs have looked terrible so far.

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Normal faces.

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Actually, most everyone over here has been quite pleasant. Even jackref

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Didn't see the goalie get hurt until now.

Yeesh that was gross.

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Arm isnt supposed to bend that way . Dislocated elbow . Yikes .

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

City is dead.

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