Elmhurst Steve wrote:
The worst that can happen, is that the Sox sweep and even the season record between the clubs.
Friday: Dempster has to come out in the 2nd inning after an awkward looking pitch. MRIs reveal later that he's out for the season after he's torn both ACLs. In the bottom of the 3rd, Soto running over to cover a ball in foul ground, flips over the railing by the dugout and lands on his head. Doctors are ruling it a concussion. In his haste to try to break Soto's fall, Murton was running towards him and didn't notice the peanut shells on the ground. Slipped through them and pulled his hamstring and is day to day. Top of the sixth, Cubs down 28-2, DeRosa swings and misses on a ball, but loses his grip on the bat. The bat goes flying into Fontenot face who was warming up on deck. Fontenot is rushed into surgery for a broken jaw, broken orbital bone, and severe facial swelling. To top it off, an unruly fan jumps into the bullpen and is able to put a few good licks on Wuertz before the rest of the team can come to his aid -- Wuertz with a broken pitching arm. The Cubs end up losing by a total of 36-2 and Edmonds gets a phone call from his wife informing him that his dog died.
Saturday: Piniella slips getting into the shower and dislocates his kneecap, and the doctor orders him to stay at home on bedrest for a couple of days. Howry grabs the hot handle of a frying pan while making bacon and eggs and burns and blisters his pitching hand. Theriot rides to the ball park, sees a squirrel in front of him and swerves to avoid hitting the squirrel. Both he and the squirrel are OK. Game begins, and the Cubs are up 1-0 after the top of the first. White Sox load em up for Thome, grand slam. Then they load em up for Alexei Ramirez, grand slam. Finally they load them up for AJ, inside the park grand slam (some people thought it should have been ruled a double and an error by Patterson.) On the next play, Gallagher gets Thome to pop the ball up (the good part) -- no communication between Theriot, Ramirez, or Patterson and they all collide. Each one breaks their collarbone, and Thome's standing up on second base. After the top of the fifth, the score is 19-1 White Sox. Cabrera is on first and the steal sign is on. Blanco takes the pitch, throws a fast one to second, but Lieber can't get out of the way in time and takes it off his head. He's out with a concussion. Cabrera slides spikes first and accidentally takes out Cedeno by breaking his fibula. Not much happens the rest of the game, and the White Sox win 83-4.
Sunday: MLB issues a report on players that have been caught with illegal drugs in their system. Lee, Ward, and Zambrano are suspended (Zambrano's suspension will start the first day he is off the DL.) Bottom of the first, first pitch is a fastball from Marshall. Cabrera hits it deep into the rightfield corner. A 450 pound man leans over to catch it, falls out of the stands and lands on Fukudome's ankle, dislocating his foot. They try to bandage him up and keep him in the game. During the middle of the third inning, a crazed squirrel comes running across the field and attacks Theriot by biting him in the neck. Scientists would later determine that this was the very same squirrel that Theriot had possibly attempted to kill the day before. Theriot loses 3 pints of blood before his condition is stabilized. Still, after the seventh inning, the Cubs hold a slim 4-3 lead. Marmol comes into pitch to try to at least salvage one game of the series. He takes care of the inning three up, three down. Heading into the dugout, he trips over his own shoe and does a facial down the steps. He is taken to the training room to be stitched up, but the swelling is too great over his eyes and he won't be able to come back. Wood comes up in the ninth and gives up a first pitch solo shot to tie the game at 4-4. He walks Cabrera, and then walks A.J. The next pitch gets away from him and the runners advance. He then intentionally walks Quentin. This leaves Dye up. Dye works it to a full count. Wood then takes a few steps off the mound and heads towards the dugout. The crowd is in an uproar trying to figure out what is happening. He gets the bullpen phone patched into the PA, says that he's not born to be a closer -- he should be a starter. This pressure is too much, the Cubs fans want too much from him. He's announcing his retirement effective immediately. The Cubs have no choice but to go to Neil Cotts to close. He hangs a change-up, Dye knocks out the grand salami ... Sox win 8-3, this ball game is ovvahhhhh.
Elmhurst Steve wrote:
But I highly doubt that will happen.
Yeah, me neither.