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PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2020 10:50 pm 
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"Actually getting the Kars 4 Kids number wrong" is how the neurologist confirms you have dementia.

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The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


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PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2020 10:51 pm 
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The Hawk wrote:
591-4300...EMPIIIIIIIRE

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The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


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PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2020 10:52 pm 
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Hudson 8 5 Seven Thousand

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The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


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PostPosted: Sat May 23, 2020 2:21 pm 
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Three words: High quality poops.

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Congrats on being better than me, Psycory.


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PostPosted: Sat May 23, 2020 8:21 pm 
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I love the Smirnoff Seltzer stay at home ads. The Batista one cracks me up

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When I am stuck and need to figure something out I always remember the Immortal words of Socrates when he said:"I just drank what?"


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PostPosted: Sat May 23, 2020 8:26 pm 
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"Terry" from Weed Man can go fuck himself and his testimonials.

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To IkeSouth, bigfan wrote:
Are you stoned or pissed off, or both, when you create these postings?


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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2020 10:42 am 
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Curious Hair wrote:
Hudson 8 5 Seven Thousand


That's the out of state version

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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2020 11:00 am 
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good dolphin wrote:
Curious Hair wrote:
Hudson 8 5 Seven Thousand


That's the out of state version

Yeah, that didn't sound right.

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Wattabout Kodak Black?


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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2020 11:32 am 
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Curious Hair wrote:
Hudson 8 5 Seven Thousand


HUdson 3-2 Seven Hundred

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Don Tiny wrote:
Don't be such a fucking chump.


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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2020 11:33 am 
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https://youtu.be/97XfougGbiQ

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Don Tiny wrote:
Don't be such a fucking chump.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2020 9:22 am 
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The latest Advent Nose commercial includes the line "...chip away at your life's expiration date," which, in addition to being really dark copy for what I'm pretty sure is just outpatient nasal surgery, has to be one of the more baffling metaphors I've ever heard in my life. I don't even know how to start breaking it down to make fun of it. "Chip away at your life's expiration date." What do I do with that?

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Molly Lambert wrote:
The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2020 9:32 am 
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Curious Hair wrote:
The latest Advent Nose commercial includes the line "...chip away at your life's expiration date," which, in addition to being really dark copy for what I'm pretty sure is just outpatient nasal surgery, has to be one of the more baffling metaphors I've ever heard in my life. I don't even know how to start breaking it down to make fun of it. "Chip away at your life's expiration date." What do I do with that?


Yeah, "chip away" would imply shortening it, not extending it. Idiots.

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To IkeSouth, bigfan wrote:
Are you stoned or pissed off, or both, when you create these postings?


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2020 9:39 am 
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No, I think Dr. Modern Kandula or whatever is referring to shortening one's life expectancy due to compromised breathing, problem is he's such a drip that the whole read is in-one-ear-out-the-other until a clanger like "chip away at your life's expiration date" grabs you. How do you erode a single point in time? Then what happens? Ahh!

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Molly Lambert wrote:
The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2020 9:50 am 
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Curious Hair wrote:
No, I think Dr. Modern Kandula or whatever is referring to shortening one's life expectancy due to compromised breathing, problem is he's such a drip that the whole read is in-one-ear-out-the-other until a clanger like "chip away at your life's expiration date" grabs you. How do you erode a single point in time? Then what happens? Ahh!


Ah, gotcha.

A few years ago I was considering buying some baby furniture from an online seller and asked if the item came with a warranty. The guy's response was something like, "your kid's life will end before this thing breaks." Nice imagery.

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To IkeSouth, bigfan wrote:
Are you stoned or pissed off, or both, when you create these postings?


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 9:19 pm 
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I don't know if you guys know this but Innovative Wellness takes insurance.

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Molly Lambert wrote:
The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2020 10:52 pm 
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Lelo Hex condoms...because condoms "break too often." Don't know about you guys, but I have never broken a condom or even heard of one breaking. You could stretch one over an entire broomstick and not break it.

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To IkeSouth, bigfan wrote:
Are you stoned or pissed off, or both, when you create these postings?


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2020 8:56 am 
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I have to say the latest Blue Cross commercial where the guy is stranded on desert island (resort) is pretty funny.

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To IkeSouth, bigfan wrote:
Are you stoned or pissed off, or both, when you create these postings?


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2020 10:19 pm 
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I'm tired of the whiney couple who can't get AT&T's new fiber network. Comcast won't bring their shitty cable internet or television to my house either, so fuck off. Take your "empty glass" and break it and swallow the shards.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2020 9:03 am 
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Hey Sam Waterson I don't give a shit about your sea animals, grocery bags or you having a choice when you purchase a beverage. STFU you has been.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 29, 2020 6:33 pm 
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The commercial for Prevagen, the brain supplement, boasts that "the secret is an ingredient that was originally discovered...in jellyfish!" (and then shows a jellyfish).

I'm trying to figure out why they think that would impress people.

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To IkeSouth, bigfan wrote:
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2020 6:22 pm 
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Why is Clayton Kershaw stealing cars to go catch a fly ball?

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 02, 2020 6:24 pm 
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Jaw Breaker wrote:
The commercial for Prevagen, the brain supplement, boasts that "the secret is an ingredient that was originally discovered...in jellyfish!" (and then shows a jellyfish).

I'm trying to figure out why they think that would impress people.


Yea. I can't wait until they find some part of that shit causes cancer

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 18, 2020 10:16 am 
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there are so many these days that suck the root, but there's a new shingles ad featuring some middle aged married couple that do that fucking dragged out, high pitched "whaaaaaat?" shit that i don't know how got popular ever. but i'd rather suffer from the ebola virus, and have a body full of recluse spider bites while being set on fire than listen to that.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 06, 2020 9:14 am 
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Herb Lawrence doing a read for Fan Duel: "Fan Duel can satisfy all of your gambling needs," and then a few seconds later, "if you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."

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To IkeSouth, bigfan wrote:
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 06, 2020 10:26 am 
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The latest Advent Nose commercial where sleep apnea is like having someone break into your house and strangle you in your bed 100 times every night or something. The jaunty production music really clashes with Dr. Modern Kandula solemnly intoning a description of what's basically a murder scene.

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Molly Lambert wrote:
The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2020 1:45 pm 
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what's with this Chime commercial where the girl says she goes into the office bragging that she got paid 2 days early
Who the hell brags about getting paid at work ? And your schedule isn't changing, so the '2 days early' thing only really applies the first time

it really bothers me that when she says her name you can't understand it- i think her name is Julisa.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2020 8:01 pm 
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Glad I found this thread...

The radio commercials about not crossing train tracks around lowered gates has me going crazy.

Annoying broad that makes me glad I fuck men: "There was a SUV, and a gate... and... oh my god.... a train... its still going... its still going..."
Bored disinterested dispatcher: "are you trying to say a train hit an suv?"

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 6:15 pm 
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There's a three-minute commercial about how it's okay to be gay. It's for Oreos. This is a joke I would make about shitlibs in advertising but it's real, folks.

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Molly Lambert wrote:
The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 6:38 pm 
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Bagels wrote:
what's with this Chime commercial where the girl says she goes into the office bragging that she got paid 2 days early
Who the hell brags about getting paid at work ? And your schedule isn't changing, so the '2 days early' thing only really applies the first time

Agreed on the first part.

If it's similar to something like Netspend, then, yes, you get paid up to two days early. It shows up in your account 2 days earlier than the normal direct deposit for each pay period.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2020 6:28 am 
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Advent Nose getting into pseudo-Mountain Goats lyrics: "You shouldn't have to sit on the sidelines of the life you were meant to live."

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The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


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