Nardi wrote:
Unless it's suntan lotion, coconut ruins everything
The weird people in the neighborhood used to give out Mounds and Almond Joys every year for Halloween. Disgusting. Great commercials, though.
I once puked based on a memory of biting into a Mounds bar. I couldn't replicate the feat when I needed it, though, in seventh grade, when I was trying to get out of school by claiming I had the stomach flu. I remembered the taste and everything, but it no longer sickened me to the point of throwing up; instead, the memory of the taste just kind of made me sad for humanity.
Kids who liked Mounds and Almond Joy were weird. Like, they'd watch Popeye rather than Woody Woodpecker after school. They usually couldn't name every team in every sport and if they did follow sports, they'd root for weird teams, like the Kansas City Kings or the Hartford Whalers, neither of which were on tv, or suddenly, during the Olympics, they'd be fans of the Netherlands or something stupid like that. Their houses smelled, too.
Once I was at this fat kid's house and he bragged that he still had Halloween candy. I was like, "Do you have any Snickers?" The fat kid kind of looked away and said, "Yes." He went to retrieve the candy and came back with an unwrapped (the second red flag) candy bar. I could tell that that which his hand held was no Snickers, and soon I could smell the substandard chocolate and the disgusting shards of coconut inside the little chocolate tomb. I thanked him and said that I would eat it later and set it aside. Later, I pushed it further away so I didn't have to smell the coconut. The fat kid ended up transferring to St. Gerald's after that year, and I was glad because he was an idiot. If I am not mistaken, he saved a gigantic Three Musketeers bar for himself. Those were pretty good, but you had to be in the mood for them; I've always thought that Three Musketeers, after the original rush of tasting whipped, smooth chocolate wore off, never delivered on their early promise of goodness the way a Snickers will. Much better than Almond Joys, at any rate.
Such a shady thing for a bad liar to try to get away with. Just admit you don't have any Snickers and split the Three Musketeers with your guest.
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BigW72 wrote:
Dave Grohl is an overrated and overhyped disturbance to the music industry.
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Meijer is like 1000 yards farther right across the street!
