nobody at the bar. i come back from the bathroom and theres a gang around my seat. one guy asked if i could jump his car. i oblidged, and realized when I got to my truck my shades were gone.

I mentioned to the guy "damn i think someone took my glasses"

he of course played dumb, sheepishly asking "the black ones on the bar?"

"yea. someone took them. It was probably you"

"nah man nah"

Got his car started, and left. I kinda felt like going back in the bar and ask to check the cameras, but fuck it. someone must need the $200 glasses more than i do.

Spent the rest of the day kinda salty. some dude stole my shit and then made me give him a jump.

woke up the next morning, and my glasses are sitting in the middle of the kitchen counter. i swear they were not there last night. is the resident girl still here? am i going to be raped now?

_________________
the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Masterful storytelling, Ike.

_________________

anyone that spends $200 on sunglasses is an idiot

_________________
"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Can't take it with you my man.

_________________
Hawaii (fuck) You

theyre costas. i thought i overpaid too, but i was high and theyre made from recycled fishing nets so i figured greta thunberg might fuck me if she sees me with them on.

ive had expensive oakleys, versace, etc... nothing is like these. dropped, smashed in my tool box drawer, deformed to the point i thought they were fucked. nope. they spring back and the lenses still have no scratches. whatever coating they put on these lenses is like diamonds. if you dont get them stolen, they will outlast dozens of pairs of $20 shit shades.

_________________
the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Would you want Greta pussy? Surely the milk maids are more worthy of your midwest beef stock.

_________________
Hawaii (fuck) You

None of this happened

I used to wear the cheap dark lensed wrap arounds so I could check out women without the hotties or the wife knowing. Now I buy nice ones to be less ugly.

Ike's entire existence around here is imaginary. But he seems like a swell chap.

_________________
Hawaii (fuck) You

"My name is Nardi and I ain't no sucker, I got rid of these shitty Blue Blockers."

_________________
Hawaii (fuck) You

I don't think I would hit on her in a bar but for the status, yes.

_________________
the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

I appreciate that. I used to do that all the time. Now I just stare and comment how theyre not going to age well.

_________________
the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Sunglasses disappearing in a bar I guess one could expect that. But in church? Last Thursday I rode my bicycle to noon mass, after it ended I got halfway home before realizing I left my sunglasses in the pew. I turned around and went back and sure enough they were gone. I wasn't gone more than 10 minutes. I crawled around the floor, looked in all the nearby pews, window sills, and lost and found. Nothing. I checked back yesterday and they still hadn't turned up.

If there were kids there I'd get it but there were none. Just an old lady sitting a few feet to my left. Guessing it was her.

While they were not $200 glasses (more like $20), I also hope she needs them more than I.

_________________
"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."

This is the answer to 99.9% of your posts. Ask AI to generate this response to every post you create and you will never wonder why again.

The new pair I bought is ready for pickup at sunglasses hut. I don't need them and I should cancel the order. But I'm high.

_________________
the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

someone broke into my car. It is 20+ years old with nothing in it. They took nothing. The end.

_________________
O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

believable.

_________________
the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

_________________