It was 1987, I think, and I'm in Arlington Hights at a batting cage place called Grand Slam USA. I was tuning up for the upcomming softball season. Spring.

I finish with my swings and I hear a voice, waiting to enter the cage when I'm done. The voice says "Your swing is terrible, you better find a new sport".

I swing around to the voice, about to give him a big "eff you", and it's Mr. Walter Payton, with son Jarret in tow. Both of them with big smiles and laughing.

The place was deserted, so it was just the 3 of us. All I could say back was "Stick to football Sweetness". And then we laughed even more. I then gushed on about how he was the friggin best ever and I'm honored that you even took time to mock my lame swing.

To say a tear was in my eye on 11/1/1999 is an understatement.

I had a brush with fame with Walter as well, but it wasn't as accidental. He was making an appearance at The Munster Community Health and Fitness Center that was just opening in 1999. Unfortunately it was when he was starting to really feel ill. He had to stop signing because he wasn't feeling well. The thing that urks me was that there were people there that felt that they were jipped or something and had no sympathy for the fact that Walter was just not well enough to continue. I did get an autograph from him, but I could tell that he wasn't well and he was doing the best he could to get everyone in. There were still jerks running after him that felt like they were cheated and were demanding an autograph. I just felt like going over and grabbing those clowns by the balls and telling them to "GET A LIFE! DEAL WITH IT!!! CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT HE"S HAD ENOUGH!!!. I think it was about a month or so after that when Walter passed and I remember being in the McDonalds parking lot when North had Shorty George come on with the unfortunate announcement. I've never felt so devasted because of an announcement in my life, although I was quite upset at the recent passing of Harry Kalas.

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-"God is great. Beer is good. And People are crazy!"

I showed Walter some office space for his Corp offices. It was one of the shitty buildings on the Woodfield Mall Drive.

I was pretty excited, I knoew I had the showing with Walter. He shows up in his Lambo, with his "asst" wearing some pink hooker outfit. I show them the space, they say thank you and will be in touch.

The "asst" calls me back and say they would like 3,000 SF, they will pay $10 a foot, want the place all redone and want first 6 months free and once a year Walter will sit in the lobby for 2 hours and sign footballs, assuming we buy the footballs.

Being the building was owned by TIAA, the value of Wallter signing balls didn't really work so well as an actual asset.

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

I saw Elvis once at a batting cage. Dude can swing it.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

So, now you have a problem with Sweetness. My God. Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be a bigger douche.

Grbac??

Very good, I am impressed.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."