Tuesday's update from Urkel-land:

The June 14th comment has been deleted. Since that post, TWO new comments have been posted! Hey, hey Laurence. Keep going like this you'll hit a whole ten comments by January.

Here are the additions:

"When's the last time you sucked cock you little homo"
Posted by: Power Bottom Bitch | June 20, 2006 at 11:11 AM

"You are my second favorite black host on the SCORE"
Posted by: Afro | June 16, 2006 at 08:05 PM


Urkel's Rants:


"You can’t say that you acted childish and then take it back. Barrett seemed confused whenever asked what his defense was going to be. Which leads me to believe that this was a concoction by the Cubs and the Players Association. Is it fate, coincidence or irony that Barrett will return for the beginning of the Cubs/Sox series at Wrigley? Brian Anderson’s appeal is that day and MLB set precedent by not adjusting Barrett’s suspension. Anderson should serve the whole 5 games. Like Barrett, he earned it."

Larry, it looks very (to put it politely) strange for you to be blogging with Jen's URL. Were the following URLs taken?

laurencewholmes.typepad.com or
urkel.typepad.com or
score670sratingsareinthetoilet.typepad.com

Wednesday update - Larry gets a compliment!

"Laurence, Thanks for doing this daily blog. You are a good writer and it is nice to get some intelligent insight into Chicago baseball.
Posted by: johnnyqb | June 21, 2006 at 07:16 AM


Note to johnnyqb: Intelligent insight? This is the guy who, last August, was ripping everyone a new asshole when they said the Sox were in a much better position than the Cubs. Evidently a little thing called the won-loss record didn't mean shit to Holmes - and he acted like a giant turd to everyone who said the Sox were in a better position than the Cubs. That's really intelligent insight.


I read this shit so you don't have to...

Thursday update: It's 10:40 and still no post by Larry. No comments either (surprise!).

Friday Update - He's Back!

Looks like Lawrence has been busy. He deleted the Power Bottom Bitch comment from the 20th, "amazingly" left the positive comment from johnnyqb...

Larry's Words of Wisdom: "My hope is that his blunder will open up dialogue on what is appropriate speech and what isn’t. Somewhere in all this, that’s gotten lost. I tried to explain that to Bill O’Reilly, on his show last night and he didn’t get it either. It’s real easy to say, "you shouldn’t say that word...", but before behavior can change people have to know why something is wrong or offensive. Ozzie may have learned that lesson and we wag our collective finger at him and say he’s the problem, but we all do it. It may not be that particular word, but it’s something. If there’s anything good that has come out of this whole ordeal, it’s the chance to re-examine ones self. I have."

nice friday comment

LOL What the hell does all that mean???

I honestly have no idea what the hell his point is.

I didn't see him on O'Reilly, but if this is how he expressed himself, I'm going to guess that O'Reilly severely owned him (not even sure what they would be debating about in the first place).

Yeah, I heard this last night on O'Reilly...He was trying to say to O'Reilly that we, as a society, need to take this Guillen story, and open our dialogue amongst us to figure out what things are appropriate, and what aren't....O'Reilly said to him, that, of course, the word Guillen used shouldn't be used (obviously).....Holmes seems to be getting a bit to smart for himself here, he seems to think that a conversation is needed about society, and the use of the word.

"My hope is that his blunder will open up dialogue on what is appropriate speech and what isn’t.

This quote is exactly what he said to O'Reilly, and O'Reilly basically laughed and said, "Of course, that word shouldn't be used."

Interestingly enough, Holmes started his 1 hour show tonight (06/23) by saying he was asked to come on O'Reilly by his station, and FOX, and he did so "despite not thinking the same as O'Reilly on a lot of things"

Here's my point - Holmes, you're on a sports station, O'Reilly wanted you on to talk about the Guillen incident, not Iraq. On top of that, O'Reilly, and I'm guessing most of us who listen to the Score, don't care what Holmes/North/Bernstein, etc. think about Iraq/politics - we want to hear good sports talk.

Why can't two people with different political opinions, like O'Reilly/Holmes have, not be able to have an interesting conversation without politics coming up, albeit after the conversation like Holmes did tonight ? I was just a little taken aback by Holmes starting his show by acting like their 'other differences' tempered his enthusiam for going on the highest rated politics show in the country.

This was a nice opportunity for him, and I thought he did ok with it, but stick to sports here Holmes.

I don't blame Holmes for pointing that out, alot of people dont and wouldn't want to be associated with a lying,hypocritical shitbag like O'Reilly. Ozzie saying F AG isn't a sports issue, it's a social issue and that ties in with politics and with whats going on in DC and all over the country now. I get your point, but I cant blame Larry for making the disclaimer.

Well, officially Sunday now - apparently no Saturday entry. Rocks & Blows mentioned the Friday comment, which was:


"Holy shit you sappy motherfucker, stop typing and cum out here to vegas, me and fred are laying in a vibrating bed naked together watchin porn, nothing gay just a little jack off party, we wanna cum in both of your eyes"

Posted by: Mike North | June 23, 2006 at 02:41 PM


I would imagine Laurence (or Jen?) will be pulling this tomorrow. But the johnnyqb will stay for eternity.

Sorry, I gave up on the Larry Holmes Blog. Here's a great comment from July 5:

"You know Laurence is the only one posting these positive comments. Great prediction on Prior being 1 start away from a good outing, wrong again Larry. You even sound dumb next to Uncle Fuzzy, OB could beat you in Jeopardy, North will take ya in a spelling bee and Annie has a bigger dick then you."

Posted by: I'm Really Laurence, the only one who reads this | July 05, 2006 at 08:01 PM

Ok.... driving home tonight at the end of the Me Show, Jay and Larry were saying that a "Linda" had put her picture up on his MySpace. I went over and didn't see anything. Any of you guys happen to see the picture, and do we know if it was "Linda S." (that is if she's a real person and not Jurko)? Larry was being nice but Jay was rippin the pic pretty good.

I'm pretty sure its our Linda. Yesterday Larry had a topic "why do women not understand men loving sports" Or some crap like that. He took a call from a Linda who said she runs home from work and puts the Cubs and Sox on. Larry asked if she had a boyfriend and she said no. Then he told her to put a picture on his web site and they'll hook her up or something.

I always thought the point of having a "comments" area was to actually generate comments. LWH has done such a fine job of generating discussion. Take this Thursday's entry (maybe you want a shot or two of Cuervo beforehand - you'll need it):

Thursday, July 20th, 2006
I thought that I would give you guys look at my night at Wrigley for the match-up of Clemens vs. Maddux.
3:45p Talked to Juan Pierre about the art of stealing bases...it was pretty good. I’ll use it on Thursday’s Me Show.
4:30 Talking to a lot of the reporters, they’re excited for this, but I’m not. Yeah, it’s not everyday that you have two guys with 300+ wins on the mound, but Maddux has dropped 6 straight decisions and Clemens only has 1 win since his return.
6:25 We just finished with pre-game interviews. Dusty and Jim Hendry addressed Chris Speier’s arrest on Wednesday morning. Dusty was philosophical (as per usual) and Hendry was petulant. It was almost like he couldn’t understand why people would want to know about it. He said that he wasn’t going to talk too much about it, "Out of respect for Chris." Here’s the problem, if Chris had more respect for himself, he wouldn’t have been out there on his motorcycle intoxicated. And if he doesn’t have that respect for himself...
6:50 There was a threat of rain earlier, but it just missed us going south. Luckily, the front cooled off the ballpark. The humidity was oppressive earlier. Maddux is getting in his last bullpen tosses. Interestingly, Clemens is pitching in the pen too and with batters in the box.
6:57 I go to the Cafeteria to sneak a peak at the Sox game...they’re up 1-nothing. I’ll catch the rest on DVR when I get home.
7:00 Meatloaf throws out the first pitch—High and inside. The stands look less than half full, but it’s still early.
7:06 First Pitch
7:06:30 Maddux gives up a solo shot to Craig Biggio. That’s his 49th lead-off homer in his career—And it’s a National League record.
7:21 Ryan Theriot strikes out looking. Dusty decided to play Theriot for his defense instead of Todd Walker.
7:29 I see that the Sox are up 2-nothing in the 5th
7:32 Head-to-Head, Maddux forces, Clemens to ground out to end the 2nd.
7:34 Can’t stand it anymore...check Yahoo Sports to see what happened in the Sox game. Crede and Uribe have each homered. So far this is gonna make for fun viewing when I get home.
7:37 Jacque Jones hits a rope to right and hustles out of the box...he gets a double. Finally, some heads up base-running from Jacque!
7:46 Clemens gets out of mini-jam by making Ronny Cedeno swing at a pitch over his head.
7:47 In between innings, I check on the Sox and see that Vazquez has worked himself into a jam...Meatloaf has joined Len and Bob in the braodcast booth.
7:52 Maddux looks strong getting the Astros out 1-2-3 in the 3rd and striking out Burke
7:54 Eric Fogel (a cameraman from Comcast) tells me that Vazquez just gave up a "Granny" to Craig Monroe...the Sox now trail, 5-2.
7:56 Head-to-Head Maddux lines out to Center
7:59 Meatloaf leaves the booth.
8:03 Maddux has made 3 nice plays in the field including a 1-unassisted. This guy may lose his stuff, but he will always be one the best ever to field the position.
8:04 Follows it up with a 1-3 put out.
8:07 Clemens fans D-Lee.
8:13 Head-to-Head Maddux with his 5th put-out of the game against Clemens
8:14 Make it 6 put-outs that he’s been a part of...he is fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!
8:20 It looks like Neifi Perez is starting to stretch in the bullpen area. 1) Why is he out there? 2) Is he going to play tonite?
8:23 With a runner on 2nd, Clemens strikes out Cedeno with the same pitch that he got him out on in the 2nd.
8:24 In between innings I run to the cafeteria to see what’s up with the Sox. Things look bleak! Niefi Perez comes into the Cubs dugout now. What was he doin’ in the bullpen?
8:28 Mike Lamb steals 2nd...the ball beat him, but Cedeno spun out of the way and never applied the tag.
8:29 Maddux gets himself out of trouble with a come-backer and gets Lamb at third. That’s 7 put-outs.
8:37 Maddux is in a bit of a jam with runners on 1st and 3rd and Preston Wilson at the plate...let’s see how he works him.
-pitch 1 low and outside, Wilson fouls it off
-pitch 2 84mph Fastball on the outside corner that Wilson deposits into Right Center for a 2rbi double, Astros lead 3-nothing.
8:38 Roberto Novoa is warming in the pen, Larry Rothschild makes a trip to the mound.
8:40 Maddux strikes out Ausmus to end the inning. At this point 6ip, 7h, 3er = quality start. Novoa is ready for the 7th.
8:43 Maddux is seen in the dugout slamming his cap on the bench. Must be upset about the 0-1 pitch to Wilson.
8:45 It’s a final in Detroit, the Sox lose 5-2. I’m looking forward to seeing the meltdown on DVR (it really is one of the best inventions in the history of man)! They may have to trade Vazquez.
8:50 Clemens works full to D-Lee with Juan Pierre on 2nd and 1-out, then blows him away with a 93mph fastball in Lee’s eyes. Wow!
8:51 The Astros have 2 relievers up in the pen, this looks like Clemens’ last inning.
8:55 Clemens is pulled for a pinch-hitter. Here’s his line 6ip, 3h, 0r, 1bb, 5k
8:59 Maddux works a 1-2-3, 7th. NIU’s Joe Novak and Rob Judson sing take me out to the ballgame and are way off key.
9:07 In between innings, I talk with NIU AD Jim Phillips, Novak and Judson. They invite me up to DeKalb for a Huskies game. I may go. My dad was a professor at Northern in the 80's and he still has an old ratty NIU hat in his closet.
9:10 Scott Eyre replaces Maddux. So the 300+ wins guys are out of the game. Both pitched well, but Clemens got run support and was just a little bit sharper.
9:24 head down for post-game...
9:50 Cubs lose 4-2.
July 20, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1)



WOW! That was incredible - I really love the 9:07 entry.
By the way, here's the comment:

ChicagoSports.com/Tribune already does a play by play of every game.

Posted by: thanks | July 21, 2006 at 07:51 AM