Behind the scenes with Michael Jordan on the Stephen Jackson trade
Scene: A golf course. Michael Jordan's cell phone rings. Jordan finishes his putt, snuffs out his cigar and picks up the phone.- - - - -
Jordan: Gimme 70 grand on the Islanders.
Voice: What?
Jordan: The Islanders. Seventy grand. No, make it $150,000. I'm going to win 80 grand in this golf match if I eagle the last hole. I can double up my winnings.
Voice: Mr. Jordan, this isn't your bookie. This is Kevin.
Jordan: Kevin ...
Voice: Your assistant.
Jordan: My assistant ...
Kevin: For the Charlotte Bobcats.
Jordan: Charlotte Bobcats ...
Kevin: The NBA team that employs you as team president.
Jordan: You're calling me about that?! I'm playing golf. I told you people never to call unless there's some sort of delay in direct deposit.
Kevin: I know, sir. But as team president, you have to sign off on all trades and we have been offered a trade.
Jordan: We have? If it's for Adam Morrison, say no. That guy is untouchable. He's a superstar.
Kevin: No, it's not for Morrison. And, actually, Morrison hasn't been on-
Jordan: Hold up, guy. I have to hit my drive.
(F--k! In the woods again! Dammit.)
Okay, I'm back. F--king slice is killing me. Look, whatever this trade is, get me some new clubs in it.
Kevin: Good one, sir.
Jordan: You think I'm kidding? I probably lost 80 grand on that shot. You think that's funny?
Kevin: No, sir. Okay, sir, back to the trade. Golden State has offered us Stephen Jackson and Acie Law for Raja Bell and Vladimir Radmanovic.
Jordan: That sounds fair to me. I've never heard of any of those guys.
Kevin: Umm ... really?
Jordan: No, I was kidding. I've heard of one of them.
Kevin: Oh, okay. Which one?
Jordan: I can't say right now.
Kevin: I see. Well, sir, should I say you are good with the trade?
Jordan: Yes. And guy?
Kevin: Yes?
Jordan: I'm going to need you to lend me 80 grand. I didn't expect to lose today.
Kevin: I don't have that kind of money, sir.
Jordan: Well then I'm going to need you to get some cash in this deal, too.
Kevin: Yes, sir.
Jordan: And let's just make that standard operating procedure, okay? I have some cash flow issues after the divorce. In fact, are there any other players you can trade for me this week? I was thinking of going to Vegas this weekend.
Kevin: Unlikely, sir. We don't really have any players other teams would want.
Jordan: You're f--king me here. You guys need to hire someone who knows what they're doing to draft good players.
Kevin: Yes, sir. That's a good idea.
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from sportspickle.com