Good afternoon, CSFMB! It’s Monday and it’s time to select our
2009 Former Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich Douchebag of the Year!It took 52 weeks and well over two hundred hours to gather all your comments, your votes, your input and your nominations but here we are. The Douchebag of the year finals are here! You’re going to be asked to vote for your top 3, the vote lasts 3 glorious days, and the highest vote getter will be your newly crowned
2009 Former Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich Douchebag of the Year! Who will have that honor? Will it be a board member like NSJ or Irish Boy or Degenerate Dave? Will it be that dickhead from Colorado with the UFO balloon? Maybe David Hernandez? He was a bit of a douche wasn’t he? Is it actually possible for Gov. Rod to repeat? We’re only a couple days from knowing for sure.
Remember folks this is your CSFMB Award to hand out. These are your nominees, supported by your votes! So big thanks go out to the real heroes of the Douchebag of the Week, that’s you, the CSFMB reader/contributor. Without you, some of these people would never know that they are douchebags. So please, review the nominations, consider them carefully, and vote well. The Douchebag of the Year needs you!
And, without further delay, here are your
FINAL NOMINEES (with some additional commentary by the original poster)!
4th Quarter Winners:Week 52 Winner “Irish Boy”: I have no idea what inspired
Walt William’s Neck to nominate Irish Boy. But, since it was a nomination for our fan favorite dry finger fucker I thought I should include him. I’m sure there is some zany website that will show all kinds of graphs and statistics that show why it’s not a good idea to include the nomination of an Irish Boy, but I don’t have the strength to find them. I had about 10 Canadians last night and my stomach hurts. Irish Boy won 28 votes in the 4th quarter Finals.
Week 43 Winner “NSJ”: Irish Boy knows why. No one else does. Did that stop him from throwing it out there though? No way. After some investigating, it turns out that IB suspects NSJ of doing some seriously creepy stalker like trolling. Now, the board has been loaded with trolling lately, and it’s possible that NSJ is behind some of those trolls. However, it should be noted that NSJ likes being suspected of trolling. We here at the DOTW home office believe he gets wood when he’s accused of trolling. So, is NSJ your douchebag of the week, or is it all just dust in the wind dude. NSJ won 22 votes in the 4th quarter Finals.
Week 45 Winner “Dad of Balloon Boy”: Beardown’s nomination hasn’t had the usual number of views/replies I like to see for a DBOTW qualification, but this happened late in the nomination timeframe and I am positive you will see a lot of activity here. Many of us were captivated by the story of a young boy who supposedly jumped into his dad’s homemade hot air balloon and took off several thousand feet into the air. Well, the boy may have inadvertently exposed the hoax during an interview with the easily fleeced Wolf Blitzer. Come on now, that’s a good line right there, fleece… wolf… that’s comedy. So vote if this loopy balloon boy’s dad is a douche. Balloon Boy’s Dad won 18 votes.
Week 50 Winner “Former Governor Ryan”: conns7901 always seems to be in the douchebag of the week thread. This time, he nominated George Ryan for claiming that he should be entitled to the pensions he earned before he corrupted his office. Ryan is a federal prisoner, a man who while holding the highest office in Illinois sold his influence and a man who ultimately may be responsible for the deaths of a family full of children. But, should he be entitled to the pension he paid into before he turned into a piece of shit? How awesome would it be to see the Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich Douchebag of the Year Award go to yet another Illinois Governor? It’s up to you, Chicago. Gov. Ryan won 11 votes in the 4th quarter Finals.
3rd Quarter Winners:Week 27 Winner: "David Hernandez and his rubber checks": Ah. Now we’re getting to the meat and taters of this week’s poll. Somehow, I know that this guy will end up somehow in the finals this year. David Hernandez, the ponzi scheme artist behind NextStep medical, and the Sugar Daddy to Mike North, has been nominated by
aparicio for bouncing checks to his employees, running a ponzi scheme, claiming all was well, and then running for his life. Now we here at the DOTW home office don’t know a Jablonie from a Macaroni, but this guy created the biggest stir here at the Chicago Sports Fan Message Board since the Turkish Invasion. You gotta vote!
David Hernandez won 30 Votes in the 3rd Quarter Finals
Nas, reflecting upon his nominations wrote:
Vote for my nominations or you are a racist!
Week 31 Winner: "Burr Oak Cemetary": Nas nominated the cemetary, and thus the individuals behind the cemetary, for digging up around 300 graves, and reselling the plots. This has had an obvious effect on the families of those involved. But wow, these people are freaking ghools or what? It's pretty sick to dig up the departed, but is it douchebaggery? You must vote!
The Burr Oak Cemetary won 18 votes in the 3rd quarter finals.
Week 39 Winner: "Phillip and Nancy Garrido": Nas nominated these two bozos and they're included here today despite Nas's claim that I never include his nominations. Phillip had kidnapped Jaycee Lee Dugard at age 11, molested her and fathered two children by her, kept her locked up for 18 years. Mighta molested his children too. Nancy knew what was going on too. Not sure if Andrew did, but I'm sure that's open for investigation too. These might be solid candidates for BigFan's new Public Executions forum as well. Do these two losers deserve the DOTW honors? You must vote if they do!
Phillip and Nancy Garrido won 29 Votes in the 3rd Quarter Finals
Week 38 Winner: "DegenerateDave": Well, we were conflicted here at the DOTW home office over this nomination. We're not looking to start a fight of epic proportions or some aingst filled rant or anything like that. Our most popular and relevant board member was nominated by
rogers park bryan for his passionate defenses of himself and his general scrappyness. In fact, since I'm a little baked I'll tell you, Dave kind of does remind me of Scappy-Doo. Lemmie at im, lemmie at im! But since Dave is just allright with me, I have to say that is a fond association, not one bourne of ill intentions. So no need to ask me what it meant in a 13 page PM, it's just a joke. Anyhow, does Dave deserve this attention, or is he just misunderstood?
DegenerateDave won 25 Votes in the 3rd quarter finals
2nd Quarter Winners:Week 24 Winner: "Tiffany Toribio": Frank Coztansa nominated Toribio because she had suffocated, resuscitated, suffocated and killed her 5 year old son, and buried him in a playground. His body was spotted by another mom who saw his shoe sticking out of the sand. I really have nothing else to say about this one except that this is easily the saddest story I’ve heard in a long time. This asshat won 9 Votes in the 2nd quarter finals.
Week 16 Winner: "Dallas Police Officer Robert Powell": By now, all of you have seen the video of this Dallas cop pulling over Ryan Moats while he and his family were on the way to visit his mother-in-law one last time before she passed.
muman89 brought it to your attention if you didn't already know about it. Moats had gone thru a couple stop signs, slowed down looking both ways, with his emergency lights on. Once Moats stopped, the cop detained him much longer than necessary especially after being informed by hospital staff that his emergency was indeed valid. This cop goes on to lecture Moats about his attitude, which in the humble opinion of the DOTW Home Office was amazingly composed given the situation he was in. Should this cop be branded a Douchebag for his lack of compassion and understanding, or is he just a cop out doing a tough job? Only your vote will say for sure! This guy got 5 votes in the 2nd quarter finals
Shirtless Driver, reflecting upon his nomination wrote:
Beating on women and children just ain't gangsta enough, so I decided to dirty up the game by kidnapping & throwing a 3 month old infant
out of a moving vehicle to his death. I am an abomination that never should've been
born and I deserve to be beaten within an inch of my pathetic life before my empty
skull gets crushed and I die. Fuck me. This message brought to you by sd.
Week 23 Winner: "Richard McTear Jr.": Nominated by
shirtless driver for tossing a baby out of the window of a moving vehicle. So this guy gets into an argument with his girlfriend, takes the baby, drives away and tosses the child out of the window onto the freeway. No word from Killer V on if this is considered littering, but it’s definitely not cool. So far, he’s been charged with murder and has no way of bonding out. His excuse? “It’s a dirty game.” Were pretty sure he gets one of the Douchebag of the week honors, but it will require your vote! This guy got 5 votes in the 2nd quarter finals.
Week 14 Winner, "AIG": Walt Williams Neck nominated AIG for giving out massive bonuses after receiving billions of dollars in public money in order to stay somewhat afloat. It turns out that the people getting these bonuses came from the divisions that were the company’s loss leaders. At least 11 million was paid in “retention bonus” to employees who are no longer employed with AIG. The public has really turned on AIG, something tells me that AIG has a shot at winning the whole enchilada this year. Does the bonus payout constitute Douchebag material? Vote today to express yourself. AIG received 5 votes in the 2nd quarter finals.
1st quarter Winners:Week 1 Winner: "Rod Blagojevich": Nas nominated Rod. Selling a Senate seat, withholding funding for hospitals until he gets his contributions, trying to get newspaper editors fired. Not to mention the hair. Rod has long been known as a Douchebag, and his earlier nominations lead to a "Douchebag of the Year 2008" victory. In fact, this award now bears his name. So, this clown has been impeached, indicted, and soon to be convicted, but is it enough to go on to the finals as a Douchebag of the Year Contender? Rod won 39 votes in the 1st quarter finals.
Week 2 Winner: "Goldendomer93": spmack thinks it's not funny. spmack wants the bullshit knocked off now. Yup, this guy was a member for less than 24 hours but he managed over 140 posts, and has pissed off a bunch of people. Sure we're clique-ey and mean to new people (see Chris in Joliet's initiation, talk about getting jumped in) but this guy comes with a history. Oh yeah, banned from other boards. And he talks. Christ does he. At first they thought he was a mult until we researched his work on other message boards where we see comments left regarding him say things like: "I'm not your buddy, shut up" and "Everyone who visits this page hates you". So he was a little weird. So he's probably stroking a gun with one hand and a picture of spmack with the other. Should we have given him more than 24 hours to prove himself, or is he a Douchebag? Does this guy have finalist potential? He did get 23 votes in the 1st quarter finals.
Killer V, reflecting upon his nomination wrote:
cop's name is Johannes Mehserle, he was arrested and charged with murder, and his trial is expected to take place in L.A. early next year....
Week 5 Winner: "Oakland Transit Execution Officer????": Ok. So what is a Douchebag poll without controversy? What fun is that? I know right? So here it is. When I went back and checked the scores, this nominee was tied with another nominee from that week. I didn't realize it ended that way. Oh well, in the interest of keeping things moving here, allow me to introduce your next nominee.
Killer V relates the story of the BART cop who shot a detainee who had been handcuffed, face down, with at least 2 other officers restraining him, and with about 15 more cops within spitting distance. This was one of the more disturbing stories we've seen here at DOTW. There isn't anything funny or clever to say about these guys so just do what you gotta do. This guy won 20 votes in the 1st quarter finals.
Week 7 Winner: "ESPN Radio 1000 Management": W_Z nominated the AM1000 management for the unfortunate firing of a very popular radio host, board member and friend, Dan McNeil. While we here at DOTW know that we will be listening to Danny Mac very soon about 330 clicks away or on a Mike North simulcast webby. AM 1000 cuts to save money, and to go in a new direction? I guess down is a direction too. Are these guys’ douchebags for sacking arguable the most popular Chicago sports radio host? Or was this a gutsy decision in a bad economy? ESPN totaled 16 1st quarter Finals votes.
There's all 16 of your nominees. How frickin exciting is this? Remember, you choose your top 3 picks, and the winner is announced this coming Thursday. Thanks to everyone who participated and voted throught 2009, and I can't wait to start the new 2010 season this coming Friday!
Good luck, Douchebags. I'll see you on the other side!
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IB with an early share of the lead, and still nobody knows why he is even in the running.
