So it has come to this. Mustang Rob, a Red Sox/White Sox fan, has alleged that I am unable to speak and/or understand the English language, a language that I have been speaking for most of my life. With the exception, of course, of my first few years on earth, when I spoke gibberish, not unlike the gibberish appearing on this web site on a routine basis.

If Mustang Rob were from The Commonwealth, I would laugh at him, and remind him that Connecticut is really the King of New England, not The Commonwealth! "Oh, we are so fancy in The Commonwealth! We do not want to be a State like everyone else, we want to be a Commonwealth. Hey, Pennsylvania and Kentucky, what do you think of our plan?" Oh, if only the citizens of mighty Connecticut could take up arms against the mentally ill denizens of The Commonwealth! I would volunteer for the Connecticut Army in a heartbeat. Maybe, just for fun, we could conquer Rhode Island while we were at it. Of course, a war between states and Commonwealths is a ridiculous idea that could never happen.

Since, however, Mustang Rob is not from The Commonwealth, I will merely shake my head and fists, and swear vengeance against him. Since I do not want to go to jail, my evil vengeance will be extracted in the form of a wager. I believe that the terms are fairly simple, and have been set forth on prior occasions:

1. The winner of the American League East shall win the wager, provided that the American League Champion is not a Wild Card team from the American League East. For example, Team A wins the American League East, while Team B, another American League East team, is granted the Wild Card spot. Team B goes on to claim the pennant. The follower of Team B wins the wager.
2. In the unlikely event that a team other than the Glorious 27 Time World Champion New York Yankees or the miserable, wretched Boston Red Sox wins the American League East, the follower of the team with the better record prevails.

I will await Mustang Rob's suggestions regarding a prize for the winner. I would respectfully ask that he does not propose a Gift Certificate to Blain's Farm and Fleet. Also, no silly "change my picture" bets please. I will never remove the perfect photograph of Mickey Charles Mantle from under my name, unless God Almighty Himself requests that I do so. I highly doubt that He would ever do so, since He Himself was responsible for that perfect and most Glorious swing.

May The Good Lord have mercy on your soul - PROCEED!

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What?

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I agree that "Sweet Caroline" is no anthem like "Tessie", "Dirty Water", or the more recent "Shipping Out to Boston" but at least my team doesn't pull PT Barnum-like crap like this.
Talk about BURRITO!!!

I've always maintained that $100 to the charity of the winners choice works for me, not sure if that's acceptable to you. If you'd rather go for something more tangible, a gift card from MLB shop or Amazon is an easy transaction to complete.
Just pick the method of payment that you find easiest to complete.
I'm pretty flexible on the method of collecting winnings.

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“Mmmm. Move over, eggs. Bacon just got a new best friend - fudge.”

I accept your proposal of a tangible gift card from MLB Shop.

As to "P.T. Barnum-like crap," P.T. Barnum happens to be one of the most beloved Americans of all time. Many experts say that if he had not been so busy inventing the greatest circus ever, he could have been elected President. Also, I am proud to say that he was born in Bethel, Connecticut, and died in Bridgeport, Connecticut, very close to Trumbull. In fact, I will bet you that P.T. Barnum and I have probably walked some of the exact same steps, which doesn't necessarily make me a circus genius.

Who does not like the circus? Lunatics and/or People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, that is who.

Therefore, on behalf of the Glorious New York Yankees' ground crew, I offer my heartiest thanks for the compliment.

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Have mercy on our souls. God has instructed stoneroses to select an mlb gift card over a donation to a charitable organization.

I take this as a sign of the apocalypse. Next typhoon wipes out the eastern seaboard, and hopefully its network.

Given your love(as a front runner ), I'd posit that you & he were/are similarly up to your knees in that "stuff" which your exact same steps strolled through.

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There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

Please permit me the opportunity to explain.

I am merely playing it very safe, unlike the great P.T. Barnum, Connecticut and American Hero. I can not control Mustang Rob's charity of choice. What if he chose Acorn or Greenpeace or the Democrat Party? I do not mind telling you that I would feel very bad about losing that bet.

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Go Mets!

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Here is a certainty of life. No thread on the Chicago Sports Fan Message Board is complete without a wisecrack from Billy Joel's Hamptons cabana boy.

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You're giving me much more credit than I have earned.
In case you want to change your mind, my charity of choice would have been JDRF.
(which happens to be the organization that funds a couple of studies that list my son as a participant).

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“Mmmm. Move over, eggs. Bacon just got a new best friend - fudge.”

It shall be JDRF, Juvenile Diabetes Research Fund (Foundation). I will have to think about my choice and get back to you. I have both cancer and Parkinson's in my family.

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I was sure your choice would be Rosie's For All Kids Foundation, or the obvious ALS.org, but cancer and Parkinson's research are worthy as well.

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“Mmmm. Move over, eggs. Bacon just got a new best friend - fudge.”