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 Post subject: MACKEYLAND CHRONICLED
PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 6:22 am 
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6:38: The first quarter is a wrap and the Bulls have a 32-21 lead.

Quick flip to New York, where Len Kasper is singing the praises of Geovany Soto. Soto flies to center for the third out of the second innning and the Cubs waste a leadoff double by Marlon Byrd.

6:39: Sam Bradford is a St. Louis Ram. Mercy, what a dumb pick when you're the Rams.

6:56: The U.C. is rockin' as Joakim Noah draws a foul on Lebron James, cans both free throws. Bulls by 12 with 3:31 to go in the first half.

Back to the draft. With the fourth pick, Washington takes offensive tackle Trent Williams, Oklahoma. I wonder if they'll like him as much as the Bears like Chris WIlliams.

7:03: Call the pizza man. Tradition on hockey night

WHAT???? 7:03 CALL THE PIZZA GUY? THAT ONLY GIVES THEM 27 MINUTES TO DELIVER BEFORE PUCK DROP! 45 MINUTES SHOULD BE ALLOTTED FOR QUALITY PIZZA DELIVERY! AN HOUR EVEN BETTER ON WHAT COULD BE A BUSY NIGHT FOR THEM!

7:53: Pizza man ringing doorbell. He'll have a wait. Predators are going to the power play.

See!!!!!!!!!
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/chi-100423-dan-mcneil,0,904774.column?page=1&utm_medium=feed&track=rss&utm_campaign=Feed%3A%20chicagotribune%2Fsports%20%28Chicago%20Tribune%20news%20-%20Sports%29&utm_source=feedburner

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 6:36 am 
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Here I thought you were joking...


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 7:34 am 
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I don't joke about poor pizza planning!

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 8:04 am 
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No disrespect intended but this article was 100% completely unreadable. How did anyone talk the Trib into that? Oh, yeah, the Tribune is a piece of shit now. Forgot.
Danny, the show is getting pretty good (670 is my p1 :shock: ) but dude, that might be the worst thing I've read in the trib that didn't have a Sullivan byline.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 8:08 am 
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Darkside wrote:
No disrespect intended but this article was 100% completely unreadable. How did anyone talk the Trib into that? Oh, yeah, the Tribune is a piece of shit now. Forgot.
Danny, the show is getting pretty good (670 is my p1 :shock: ) but dude, that might be the worst thing I've read in the trib that didn't have a Sullivan byline.


The Trib doesn't have to be good anymore, because nobody reads the Sun Times because it's about as thick as the leaflet on Famous Jewish Sports Figures from Airplane!

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 8:11 am 
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bigfan wrote:

7:53: Pizza man ringing doorbell. He'll have a wait. Predators are going to the power play.



Unnecessary. The Hornqvist-less Preds are one of 2 teams in the playoffs that have not converted on the PP. Without Hornqvist on the ice, it's unlikely they'll convert a PP opportunity the entire series. He is their offense.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 8:19 am 
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Darkside wrote:
No disrespect intended but this article was 100% completely unreadable. How did anyone talk the Trib into that? Oh, yeah, the Tribune is a piece of shit now. Forgot.
Danny, the show is getting pretty good (670 is my p1 :shock: ) but dude, that might be the worst thing I've read in the trib that didn't have a Sullivan byline.


I read the first part online and didn't bother clicking "next" or "full page." It wasn't interesting at all. Merely timestamping what transpired and then offering a lame one liner was the equivalent of PTFB reading for me. What sealed the deal was the brilliant summary of Len and Bob's burroughs of NY line. Mac wrote something to the effect, "I love those 2 guys."

Riveting.

At least when Bill Simmons does it (and I'm not saying he invented it and no one else can do it), it's funny and makes me want to read more. If the Trib counts clicks on each columnist, I hope they also realized that I didn't click to read all of it.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 8:22 am 
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Also noticed no stop at Bodog.com in the timestamps? Not even for a look Mac?

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 8:32 am 
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"7:29: Bob Brenly can't name a burrough in New York. Kasper leads him to "blank Island." Brenly says "Long Island." Len politely gives him Staten Island. I love those two."

Ed_from_Lisle wrote:
What sealed the deal was the brilliant summary of Len and Bob's burroughs of NY line.


"boroughs" not "burroughs"

This is a "burrough(s)":
Image

This is a "borough":

Image


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 8:37 am 
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NearWessSideHussra wrote:
"7:29: Bob Brenly can't name a burrough in New York. Kasper leads him to "blank Island." Brenly says "Long Island." Len politely gives him Staten Island. I love those two."

Ed_from_Lisle wrote:
What sealed the deal was the brilliant summary of Len and Bob's burroughs of NY line.


"boroughs" not "burroughs"

This is a "burrough(s)":
Image

This is a "borough":

Image


I deserve that. Thank Christ I didn't spell it "burro."

EDIT: Wait a second. In your quote, you spelled it as I did, or at least the way Mac did. What's the deal? I'm too lazy to look it up.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 8:41 am 
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Ed_from_Lisle wrote:

I deserve that. Thank Christ I didn't spell it "burro."


You probably just mimicked mackey's misspelling from his Tribune article. Hey, at least your misspelling wasn't paid for by and published in a newspaper.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 8:41 am 
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I've yet to figure out all the "kills" in places' names. There's an area off of Northeast Manhattan called Kull Kill. Besides being alliterative, WTF is that? "Fresh kills" sounds like mobland's dumping grounds.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 8:45 am 
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6:00 AM - Wake up, feed cats, turn on tv, sit down on couch

6:15 AM - Grab a slice of pizza and a pop, sit back down on couch

6:30 AM - Take a shit, turn on computer, sit down on loveseat

7:00 AM - Turn off computer, sit down on couch, watch tv

7:30 AM - Turn on PS3, sit down on couch

8:30 AM - Turn off PS3, curse the Long Gui, stand up and look outside...oh, that's what the sun looks like

8:45 AM - Call to find out where the fuck my mower is, sit down on couch, chronicalize my busy morning


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 8:48 am 
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Beebo wrote:
I've yet to figure out all the "kills" in places' names. There's an area off of Northeast Manhattan called Kull Kill. Besides being alliterative, WTF is that? "Fresh kills" sounds like mobland's dumping grounds.


Good kill:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kill_%28body_of_water%29


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 9:11 am 
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sjboyd0137 wrote:
Darkside wrote:
No disrespect intended but this article was 100% completely unreadable. How did anyone talk the Trib into that? Oh, yeah, the Tribune is a piece of shit now. Forgot.
Danny, the show is getting pretty good (670 is my p1 :shock: ) but dude, that might be the worst thing I've read in the trib that didn't have a Sullivan byline.


The Trib doesn't have to be good anymore, because nobody reads the Sun Times because it's about as thick as the leaflet on Famous Jewish Sports Figures from Airplane!


Every word of both posts are very true.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 9:14 am 
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Here's a comment on your column in language you can understand--an 80's movie quote:

You know everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You're a miracle! Your stories have NONE of that. They're not even amusing ACCIDENTALLY! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Danny Mac, he's got some amusing anecodotes for you. Oh and here's a gun so you can blow your brains out. You'll thank me for it." I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They'd say, "How can you stand it?" I'd say, "'Cause I read Danny Mac's column. I can take ANYTHING." And by the way, you know, when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea - have a POINT. It makes it SO much more interesting for the reader!


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 9:19 am 
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Gloopy posted that same line about 2 weeks ago. You guys need a new schtick.


I used to absolutely hate when I was delivering pizza and people used to take forever to answer the door. Nothing worse than that. And while I never, ever did anything to anybody's food, I've heard things and will say this. Do NOT fuck with the pizza guy. Ever. They will remember it for next time. As they remember the good tippers as well.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 9:21 am 
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I tip the guy from Stuc's at least $5 a shot, and I always get my chow quick and hot.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 9:26 am 
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Is that 5$ plus the 3$ delivery charge?

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 9:36 am 
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bigfan wrote:
Is that 5$ plus the 3$ delivery charge?


As Bashtan Matt would say "AAAB-SOH-LOOT-LEE". Ignore the delivery charge. Assume it goes to either the cheapskate restaurant owner or is at best split with the delivery guy.


Last edited by NearWessSideHussra on Fri Apr 23, 2010 10:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 10:02 am 
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Frank Coztansa wrote:
Gloopy posted that same line about 2 weeks ago. You guys need a new schtick.


Yeah, I just don't keep up with the board like I used to. Although, given the usual quality of Mac's broadcast and printed output, it's probably not the last time someone will be moved to use that quote regarding him.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 10:15 am 
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Yep, just as I predicted this was the single dumbest idea in newspaper history. Glad I didn't bother to click on the link, good thing I'm smart enough to know going in when something is going to be a total waste of time.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 10:56 am 
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It doesnt bother me, I find it kinda funny and I like Mac, but he likes the the whole "look at all the stuff I have" thing.

Yesterdays show

Spiegel: So you gonna place some bets at the track tommorow?

Mac: Actually in a few weeks Ill be going to the Kentucky Derby for the 4th time in 6 years!

:lol:


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 11:00 am 
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Frank Coztansa wrote:
They will remember it for next time. As they remember the good tippers as well.



Same goes for bartenders

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 11:34 am 
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rogers park bryan wrote:
It doesnt bother me, I find it kinda funny and I like Mac, but he likes the the whole "look at all the stuff I have" thing.

Yesterdays show

Spiegel: So you gonna place some bets at the track tommorow?

Mac: Actually in a few weeks Ill be going to the Kentucky Derby for the 4th time in 6 years!

:lol:


In further (non)response to the question of whether he will be placing bets Friday, 22 April:

"And on the way home, me and my buddies will be playing golf at the beautiful French Lick resort."

(Burroughs! Laugh out loud! Does the Tribune not employ copy editors, or was this trite piece not significant enough to merit one?)

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 11:39 am 
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The funniest bit of this whole story was this:

Quote:
7:33: Missed the Sox first run. Certain there will be so many more.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 12:24 pm 
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This here thread is a prime example of why Marconi Dan spends all his time playing yahtzee, tending his crops and poking people on Facebook instead of posting here.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 1:03 pm 
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OOgie wrote:
Yahtzee code for something?


Dunno, but everything I know about facebook I learned watching South Park.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 1:20 pm 
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9:17: Hawks kill the penalty and after two periods, Niemi is en route to his second shutout of the series.

9:18: Mets add a run and we go to the ninth. Second period is a wrap and it's all Blackhawks.

9:23: Mets finish Cubs, 5-2. On to Milwaukee for Lou Piniella and his pen full of Carloses.

9:24: Sox still down, 7-2. Wondering if Hawk Harrelson is putting a log on the 1967 Red Sox fire. Cell time.

9:31: On a 3-0 count, Carlos Pena clears the bases with a double. Fight at the Tampa bat rack in the eighth. Another arduous exercise in Chicago baseball soon will be over. The Jets are on the clock with the 29th pick and Clausen is still waiting to hear his name called. Will Texas' Colt McCoy will go before him?

9:35: Sherri's out of town, off to the washroom to snap off a wrister.

9:39: Back to hockey for the third. Right thumb is blistering

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 2:53 pm 
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"Burrough" is spelled "borough." I'll forgive the mistake, since few people pronounce the word to kinda rhyme with "bore," but how does that slip through the cracks at the freaking Tribune? Don't they employ people to catch these things?

Beebo wrote:
I've yet to figure out all the "kills" in places' names. There's an area off of Northeast Manhattan called Kull Kill. Besides being alliterative, WTF is that? "Fresh kills" sounds like mobland's dumping grounds.

"Kill" is Dutch for "stream." "Fresh Kills" is a pretty badass place name, isn't it?

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