Yesterday D. McNeil said that he would not miss K. "Hawk" Harrelson when he leaves the booth. As somebody who watches more White Stocking baseball than the average White Stocking fan, I couldn't agree more.

D. McNeil, there's a place for people like us: http://www.heavethehawk.com/index.php

In addition to the obvious annoyances ("YES", "Pick 'em up boys", "You gotta be bleeepin' me"... etc), these are other doosies that H. Harrelson spews on a nauseating basis:

* "If you're just tuning in...": First off, old man, NOBODY "tunes in" their television anymore and have not since the 1980s. The best is when he says it when it's the 1st or 2nd inning, when EVERYBODY has just "tuned in".

* "Outfield... for the most part spread out": His description of the outfield positioning comes 2 to 3 times per inning.... usually when he has nothing else to say and he's pretending to "announce". Of course they're SPREAD OUT, THEY'RE OUTFIELDERS... shouldn't we just assume that? Are you going to tell the viewers that the shortstop is "for the most part between 2nd & 3rd?... How about you tell us about the "least part" - maybe that's worth telling the viewer about?? Almost always it's followed by the camera behind homeplate that will scan the outfield from LF to RF - seeing this view is an extra kick in the seat.

* ".... best I've ever seen": About once a week something happens that makes him proclaim somebody is the best he's ever seen at something. My favorite was when he said F. Thomas was "the best checker of a swinger that I have ever seen".

* A pitch that "catches the edge of the outside corner of the plate": This happens when there's a strike call on a White Stocking hitter and he's subtly arguing the umpire's call or when he believes a White Stocking pitcher threw a strike that was called a ball.

Here is a soundboard: http://www.heavethehawk.com/Hawkisms.html

Does anybody have any others?

Linda S.

I find it interesting that one many of the "complaints" about Hawk are some of the things I enjoy. I'll admit that they are true but even after he retires I'll think of him as the voice of my favorite baseball team.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Hineybird: refers to idiot poster Linda S.

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"F. Constanza": Person who picks up women from craigslist.

Is it the Annual Asshole Parade week around here or what? They're all coming out of the woodwork ....

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Outfield is equidistant.

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Do you pretend to be a woman on craigslist too?

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Hawk doesn't say that.

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Just giving you a hard time, F. Constanza... sorry.

It wasn't too long ago when Dan & Hawk shared some mutual admiration.

Hawk was a regular when Dan was working the saloon.

Did something happen ? The criticism of Hawk has been fairly constant as of late.

Yeah, Hawk didn't buy a ticket to the 1st Anniversary party las week.

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I have been driving this bus for years!

I actually think Hawk is a big reason for the Sox not gaining market share. I didn't see they lose it because of him, but dont gain any because he is such a bad listen. Maybe he can Mike North Hiney Bird again for the new listeners while Steve Stone bites his tongue and wishes he was still at Wrigley making $400K a year and could do no wrong.

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

you know, out of all of the hawkisms the "keep it going boys" has really gotten to me. at least he seems to evolve some of them, as grab some bench became HE GONE and i know that one stuck in the craw of some tigers-fans friends of mine who i do fantasy baseball with every year. they come down during one of the sox/le tigre series every year and always sarcastically mock the live action with hawkisms and it amuses me cuz like him or hate him, hawk has got in your head.

one of my favorite hawk moments was during a deadass sox/royals game circa 04/05 there was just this auspicious 10 second pause where dj was faclempt and hawk just came back with "...i like taffy" and dj hurredly kissed up "yeah i like taffy" and gave color analysis on why taffy is good. i'm sure it was done tongue-in-cheek/taking-the-piss, but it was a proper microcosm of the nature of hawk and dj during the epoch.

thx 4 the soundboard tho!

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Yes it is and we are asking Shakes to be Grand Marshall of this parade.

Dan discovered Q-Tips.

He does this all the time. Usually he tries to quantify it in some obscure way like...Frank Thomas was the best bat checker as a right handed hitter going against a hard throwing lefty during night games.

I am a proud member of the Hawk Hater Club. The older this guy gets...the worse his schtick will become.

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Proud to be UNVERIFIED.