so my nighttime ritual is to fall asleep listening to howard stern, then when i wake up it's still replaying or it's possibly on to the live one depending on how i feel. having spoiled a little bit of the first day back episode on SFN (sternfannetwork.com, aka the big bad semi-official howard stern board) i still decided to give the first show back a listen.
wow. as the rob zombie song started to fade howard shows up and says something like "here we go again... five more years...that alarm went off this morning and i thought i was done with this... but here i am" and robin is like "turn back the clock and start the countdown again" -- wow. just wow. it's supposedly all in jest, but still, when you're back from a few weeks of vacation and you've got a brand new deal for, reportedly, 5yr/$400mil you figure you'd get something better than this disingenuous joke crap... i mean there is always at least a modicum of truth when someone acts like that, which is a harbinger of things to come for these next five years.
deep down you know that howard views his 5yrs/$400mil as a slight and a "diss" because his original deal was reportedly 5yr/$500mil, and during his on-air campaigning/lobbying/bitching about resigning with sirius in november/early dec he was quite indignant when media would report that howard is likely to take a paycut... he saw the paycut insinuations as an insult and literally called himself sirius' personal jesus or something, being quite adamant that he wouldn't take a paycut.
and i mean, come the fuck on, he has to take a paycut. the whole "buzz" of "the revolution" is gone. they milked artie's addiction/personal-problems for content and sent him off to pasture, very likely never to return again a la billy west, jackie, and stuttering john... at least KC hatches up some story about sucking off a tranny to get back on the air and get his name out there again. but basically, in 2009 and especially 2010 the show was a sad caricature of what it once was and i know from the pulse of SFN that a bunch of people have stopped their subscriptions (getting rid of bubba has also done a smaller thing, however, some maintain bubba ran off for terrestrial radio in order to have a ratings grudgematch with MJ in tampa) and the show has obviously fallen off and the buzz is gone, the only relative buzz howard got last year was when friend-of-the-show david arquette called in over there in the wake of splitting up with courteney cox, so that made the tabloid tv shows. it's diminishing returns, so how can you break the bank or even offer up a raise when it's patently obvious that howard mailed in most of the last ~2+ years knowing that he maxed out his contract salary incentives and whatnot, and as he said last year in proper context "screw the fans!"
but yeah, i guess howard was adamant at ending this show at 10am (9am our time) and made sure to finish it a few mintues after, and then the wrapup show was promptly over at 11am. the fans see that as a slight cuz back in the day even though he was formally scheduled 6-10am EST he rarely, if ever ended at 10am... the only times he did he'd have an appointment or something else going on and he'd mention it. yeah, everyone else in the radio world has a set schedule like that, but when people are paying $120+/year mostly or exclusively to listen to your show, the whole concept that teh show ended when the show ended was a nice thing... it felt like the show went on because there was stuff to get done, and then the wrap up show had a bunch to talk about and rah rah rah.
howard boasted that this new contract has more "flexible" hours. you know. howard once famously said that any radio guys who don't work 5 days a week are screwing their fans, and of course by early-mid 2006 he was firmly entrenched at 4 days a week ("when you've done as much as i have in the business, you've earned the right") and by last year during his on air bemoaning the re-signing of a contract he was whining/bitching about having to work four days a week, as he eyed three days a week. hell, he was talking about possibly going to mid-days which would be fine, however as we all know here drive-time radio is where sirius is at a premium because they want to have the satellite radios in as many cars as possible.
so now he's going to wane everyone down to 3 days a week, collecting his 80 million a year, and having an attitude like "fuck sirius, they disrespected me by offering me less money"
the only thing i can think of is if the deal is for 400mil as opposed to 500mil, aka 80%, he'll work three days a week eventually because that's roughly 75% of his previous workweek. cool. we get 75% of the dancing with the stars, american idol, and horsefaced famewhore talk!
i know that the paradox is "why are you bitching about there being less of a show that you're making these giant tl;dr posts bitching about?" and basically like, as a kid i remember howard stern being that cool SNL type show that dad watched on saturday nights. sometimes i'd hear him in the car with dad and howard stern was like the forbidden apple to a kid my age. then by the time i was 18 i was driving down to UIC and catching howard's show and getting into it somewhat... and then out of the blue christmas 2005 my dad got me a sirius satellite radio and a yearlong subscription, and i was there listening to the first satellite radio shows which were yeah! and it was damn near appointment radio sometimes my little brother got into it and got his own sirius radios (he's gone through ~3 stilettos, which are utter pieces of horseshit) and in our family we had 3-4 subscriptions... but by ~spring-mid 2008 the show was starting to get "meh" and i let the subscription go.... and i only discovered the alternative means of hearing the show and by the time i started listening again in early-mid 2010, damn, it's just kind of a spectacle to see how a guy who put on a really damn good radio show for so many years has basically become everything he used to rip on incessantly back in his "it's me against the world" days.
as i've said ad nauseum in this thread, howard used to troll everyone except his audience... he was the people's troll, he'd have exciting/shocking/OMFG bits and segments and he used to be "that dude" seen as dirty and of ill repute in teh celeb-o-sphere. i mean, he doesn't even have a presence at red carpets asking celebrities !!!! questions anymore.... and why?
because now he wants to be loved... he wants to be a media darling and friends with all of the celebrities who he used to dissect and ridicule, and now he's basically apologized for trolling everyone and the only people he wouldn't troll, his audience, are the ones getting trolled. he "brought" us along to pay-per-listen-ville and promised a radio revolution and the future of radio broadcasting and while he had listener quotas to meet, indeed it was appointment radio. you literally couldn't wait to hear what was going on....
and now? well, i alternate between howard and bubba, and howard's mainly out of habit. i fall asleep listening to it. and like, when i put on the first show of the new contract and hear howard and robin bitching about having to be up early and robin literally saying "start the countdown again" that shows you where their heads are at.
basically, they're out of touch with their audience. they're both rich celebrities (or well, parasitic pseudocelebrity in the case of queen ophelia the narcissist of cuntington) and the only way they can relate to us anymore is talking about television... so now you get regaled with their stories of vacations (howard's describing his "not bad" hut that cost like $6500/night or /week or something) and the gunt's charities and expeditions to third world countries and like, even though artie was a celebrity he at least was a real person beneath it all... too real and too troubled to last on the show as it was. ah well, c'est la vie.
so here's to 5 years of howard realizing "hey i might as well make $400mil while i still can" cuz obviously he loves his money and his family will likely be right around billionaires by the time he's done, but even beyond the money he can satisfy his ego-driven need to babble (i'm throwing rocks in a glass house woo!) and you know robin's the same way i mean this radio show is what makes them relevant and celebrities, even tho the show is in a steady downward spiral cuz the guests have reverted to pre-privateparts-movie levels (and when they do show up it's howard psychoanalyzing them and asking about their dad/mom... i mean for fuck's sake he did that to gilbert! and i dont think comedians dare sit in on robin's news anymore! especially now that it seems like howard might be trying to get out as close to 10am as possible in order to stick it to sirius for the "slight" or well, the "non-raise" if/when he goes to 3 days/week.
ah well, i'll keep listening to see how much it sucks and talk shit... it's like they said in private parts when teh nbc execs were talking about listener demographics... the people who hate the show listen longer than those who like the show, cuz they can't wait to see what he does next. i'm in taht boat. it's like radio noir and the great tragedy of the death of one of the coolest radio shows ever continues.
the first ~45 mins of the show has been the quick bemoaning of the contract, robin talking about charity work in a third world country, howard giving us the incredibly boring details of his "not bad" $6500/night vacation spot in the tropics, and now howard and robin are talking about all of the movies they seen over the break. WHEEE!
anyways, i hear they bash jackie summore for being greedy as he was featured in the last history of howard stern stuff they played over the break. can't wait to hear that one! once you cross howard and "hurt" him and the show, you're shitlisted forever!
AND NOW I CAN SLEEP! YES! I HAD BEEN WAITING FOR WEEKS TO HEAR WHAT HOWARD AND ROBIN THINK ABOUT REX RYAN AND THE FOOT FETISH WOOO!!!!
at least idol season is starting soon. did you guys ever hear that howard stern was bandied about as a possible judge there? howard said he'd be the bestest judge ever and the only man who can save the show.... oh man it's going to be appointment radio!
oh and if you need to get a late christmas present for someone you forgot about, don't forget about giftscriptions! check 'em out here >>>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-Y_v3FhGNc# sir talkstoomuch
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