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 Post subject: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:36 am 
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A close family friend, their son, is getting married on Saturday. Its in Monmouth, which is about 3-3.5 hours west of here. Its been planned since August because they wanted to get married with Christmas decor still up in the town/church. The reception is at a dance club that the family owns. Buffet dinner, bartenders will only be there for a little while, after that its serve yourself.

We are supposed to close on a house tomorrow. Wanted to close after the first of the year, but the seller's said no dice to that, so its tomorrow. Because of that, my fiancee and I are not going to the wedding, though we did RSVP yes. Obviously cleaning a new place and moving in is a lot of work, and I only have 1 vacation day left until March so this has to be done on nights and weekends.

I've talked to the groom and his mom (who is my Godmother), and they are understanding and both said no problem. They seemed genuine about saying that as well. I will still be sending a gift. Probably a little more $ since I won't be paying for gas for a hotel room.

Both of my parents and my sister, on the other hand, are quite upset that we are not going. They said its the "right thing to do" because of them being a family friend. Which I understand, but disagree with.

So.....what are your thoughts on the matter?

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Last edited by Frank Coztansa on Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:38 am 
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It's fine. Nothing wrong with your decision. They'll get over it...

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:40 am 
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Unless it's a close family member (brother, sister, etc..), who gives a shit?

Send a gift and best wishes, and move on.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:41 am 
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You have shit to do that is more important. He is not immediate family. In ten years, that kid won't give a shit if you were at his wedding. The only thing they really care about it getting the $$$ gift, which you are still giving.


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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:42 am 
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I think you have to go.

You do not want to upset the other founding members of The Blend.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:43 am 
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I see nothing wrong with you not going, especially since you only knew about it since August. They'll get over it. I'm sure plenty of people are also going to skip out on a wedding over New Years weekend for reasons much worse than yours.

Congrats on the house. Everyone but MattInTheCrown is happy for you.

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Last edited by Brick on Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:48 am 
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if you go, i wouldn't go to the bathroom the entire time you were there

send a gift, and be glad you did not have to go


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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:52 am 
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Bagels wrote:
if you go, i wouldn't go to the bathroom the entire time you were there

send a gift, and be glad you did not have to go

:lol: :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:54 am 
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You obviously should go.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:58 am 
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Big Chicagoan wrote:
You have shit to do that is more important. He is not immediate family. In ten years, that kid won't give a shit if you were at his wedding. The only thing they really care about it getting the $$$ gift, which you are still giving.


^^^ That's probably the most accurate call on the whole deal.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 11:04 am 
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Frank Coztansa wrote:
A close family friend, their son, is getting married on Saturday. Its in Monmouth, which is about 3-3.5 hours west of here. Its been planned since August because they wanted to get married with Christmas decor still up in the town/church. The reception is at a dance club that the family owns. Buffet dinner, bartenders will only be there for a little while, after that its serve yourself.

We are supposed to close on a house tomorrow. Wanted to close after the first of the year, but the seller's said no dice to that, so its tomorrow. Because of that, my fiancee and I are not going to the wedding, though we did RSVP yes. Obviously cleaning a new place and moving in is a lot of work, and I only have 1 vacation day left until March so this has to be done on nights and weekends.

I've talked to the groom and his mom (who is my Godmother), and they are understanding and both said no problem. They seemed genuine about saying that as well. I will still be sending a gift. Probably a little more $ since I won't be paying for gas for a hotel room.

Both of my parents and my sister, on the other hand, are quite upset that we are not going. They said its the "right thing to do" because of them being a family friend. Which I understand, but disagree with.

So.....what are your thoughts on the matter?


Pay February's mortgage at the closing as well for the tax break.

As for the wedding, a check is better than your presence. You are doing them a favor by not going.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 11:12 am 
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good dolphin wrote:
Pay February's mortgage at the closing as well for the tax break.

As for the wedding, a check is better than your presence. You are doing them a favor by not going.



Franks not that bad...

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 11:23 am 
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You're starting a new chapter in your life. Look out for yourself.

Families expect too much sometimes and see this as you "breaking away" for a lack of a better phrase. Small-town friends/relatives don't understand - not that I have any experience with any of this. :wink:

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 11:34 am 
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Sure, all the selfish people telling you to forget it. The wedding is a unique experience. One day isn't gonna matter in your move. Be the bigger man.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 11:55 am 
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You are doing the right thing Frank. Your future wife and your future are more important than a friends wedding. You talked to them, and they understand. As someone else said in 10 years no one will care.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 12:03 pm 
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RFDC wrote:
You are doing the right thing Frank. Your future wife and your future are more important than a friends wedding. You talked to them, and they understand. As someone else said in 10 years no one will care.


In 10 years he and his wife will not remember what room they cleaned or what decorations they put up that night


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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 12:05 pm 
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Gloopan Kuratz wrote:
Sure, all the selfish people telling you to forget it. The wedding is a unique experience. One day isn't gonna matter in your move. Be the bigger man.


Well then why don't you offer to help Frank move?

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 12:07 pm 
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Furious Styles wrote:
Gloopan Kuratz wrote:
Sure, all the selfish people telling you to forget it. The wedding is a unique experience. One day isn't gonna matter in your move. Be the bigger man.


Well then why don't you offer to help Frank move?


whoa, that's a big step in a relationship..


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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 12:12 pm 
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He ain't driving me to the airport!

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 12:16 pm 
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Frank could certainly ask his offended family members to help him move so he can go to the wedding. That might shut them up.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 12:22 pm 
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Gloopan Kuratz wrote:
Frank could certainly ask his offended family members to help him move so he can go to the wedding. That might shut them up.


Help Frank. Be the bigger man. God knows he doesn't ask for much!

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 12:31 pm 
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Boilermaker Rick wrote:
I see nothing wrong with you not going, especially since you only knew about it since August.


:lol: :lol:

Vintage.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 2:17 pm 
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Close and start the move on Friday.
Wedding on Saturday.
Finish moving Sunday.

Unless you are moving stuff from a 4,000 square foot mansion, what's the big deal?

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 2:23 pm 
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Send them a blender and bang your fiance in every room of the new house on Saturday.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 2:25 pm 
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a retard wrote:
Unless you are moving stuff from a 4,000 square foot mansion, what's the big deal?
The 7-8 hours of windshield time on Sat and Sun.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 2:43 pm 
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Getting married in Butfuck,Illinois is ignant. Fuck 'em. I love these ignorant assholes who want their special wedding in some distant location,then expect everyone to show up. Bad enough you have to give them a envelope full of cash.

Good Luck on your house!

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 3:35 pm 
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eh...this is a difficult one, but if it were me I would likely not go to the wedding. There are few things that trump a wedding, this would be one of them in my opinion.
Just don't be surprised when they can't make yours.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 3:52 pm 
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doug - evergreen park wrote:
eh...this is a difficult one, but if it were me I would likely not go to the wedding. There are few things that trump a wedding, this would be one of them in my opinion.
Just don't be surprised when they can't make yours.


Who gives a shit as long as they send the $$$.


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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:04 pm 
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You close on your new home Friday, then you should go to the Wedding Saturday. Youll have other days to clean your new house. Seems pretty simple to me.

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Last edited by Scorehead on Fri Dec 28, 2012 12:15 am, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Thoughts?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:12 pm 
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Drop In wrote:
Boilermaker Rick wrote:
I see nothing wrong with you not going, especially since you only knew about it since August.


:lol: :lol:

Vintage.



That was classic. Frank-you said you were going to go to the wedding in your RSVP, so now it's a matter of being a man of your word.....or not. If you choose not to go, you are probably doing the other guests a favor, but as someone mentioned, don't be surprised if others blow off your wedding when they need to scrub the gravel in the fish tank....re-arrange their sock drawer......etc. You can close on Friday and begin moving stuff, then finish on Sunday. I wouldn't be surprised if you are expecting people from out of town to attend your wedding and either drive a long distance or even fly in for the event.....Treat these people as you would hope to be treated.

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