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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 5:10 pm 
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Frank Coztansa wrote:
There's too much urinary freedom in this society. I'm proud to hold it in. It builds character.


..and urinary infections

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 5:18 pm 
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Have to go drop the kids off at the pool...


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 5:18 pm 
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Frank Coztansa wrote:
There's too much urinary freedom in this society. I'm proud to hold it in. It builds character.


You could get Uromysitisis poisoning, and die.

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Last edited by Chus on Wed Dec 18, 2013 5:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 5:22 pm 
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 5:33 pm 
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bigfan wrote:
Frank Coztansa wrote:
There's too much urinary freedom in this society. I'm proud to hold it in. It builds character.


..and urinary infections



Image

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 6:00 pm 
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Zizou wrote:
Castrate yourself.


how else am I going to let you know about the joke I played by tainting your Coke

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 6:58 pm 
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And then as you walk in to "drain the main vein" you say "Is this where all the dicks hang out?"

Another urinary classic.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 7:00 pm 
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I always say "I have to hit the head."
Is that ok?

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Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 7:02 pm 
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Darkside wrote:
I always say "I have to hit the head."

Is that ok?


(Insert Giant Frank Head joke here)

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 7:36 pm 
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Peoria Matt wrote:

Another urinary classic.


What two words will clear out the men's room faster than anything else?

"Nice dick"

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 7:48 pm 
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Q.Bovifs wrote:
Jaw Breaker wrote:
Peoria Matt wrote:

Another urinary classic.


What two words will clear out the men's room faster than anything else?

"Nice dick"

I heard from someone here that said phrase is uttered quite commonly at the Joliet Forest Preserve.

Booo!

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bigfan wrote:
Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 8:21 pm 
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Darkside wrote:
I always say "I have to hit the head."
Is that ok?

I say that or "Hit the john".


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 8:22 pm 
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Colonel Angus wrote:
Darkside wrote:
I always say "I have to hit the head."
Is that ok?

I say that or "Hit the john".

Jesus. I'm fucked.

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bigfan wrote:
Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 12:37 pm 
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http://consumerist.com/2013/12/19/atlan ... elevators/

Quote:
Who knew that the elevators in Atlanta’s MARTA rail stations had become a haven for those in need of a semi-private place to relieve their aching bladders? Obviously the people who have complained enough about the problem to convince the Rapid Transit Authority to deploy a urine-detection system.

WSB-TV reports that the program — supposedly the first of its kind — is currently being tested in a single elevator in a Midtown Atlanta train station. It apparently uses sensors to detect when someone has decided to go #1 somewhere between floors 2 and 3.

“If somebody was to urinate in here, there’s going to be a splash factor. It would splash and it would sense,” explains MARTA’s director of elevators and escalators, which sounds like a fun job until you go back and re-read what he just described and realize that this is what he has to deal with all day.

The urine detection device (or UDD) somehow detects that micturating is occurring and it sounds an alarm intended to bring the MARTA police and deal with the baddie with the bad bladder.

In the month since the one test UDD was put into place (along with a sign warning people about the UDD’s existence), MARTA says there has only been one incident and that elevator violator was arrested. Before the UDD, MARTA says this particular elevator was being urinated in on a daily basis.

Based on that success, MARTA will begin rolling out UDDs to other elevators in the coming months at a cost of $10,000 a pop.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 1:36 pm 
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I thought 'see a man about a horse' was code for taking a shit. People must think that I have the longest piss breaks ever...

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 3:22 pm 
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Some acceptable shitting euphemisms :

Pinch a loaf
Burn a mule
Bombing Tokyo/Berlin/Iraq (w/e target you want)
Giving birth
Laying an egg
Going to log one

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 3:30 pm 
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For #1: Going to see the Mayor
For #2: Going to see the Governor

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 3:56 pm 
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Don Tiny wrote:
For #1: Going to see the Mayor
For #2: Going to see the Governor


In that vein,

got to go "push the vote out"

"I have to go investigate a hanging chad."

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 3:59 pm 
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jimmypasta wrote:
Don Tiny wrote:
For #1: Going to see the Mayor
For #2: Going to see the Governor


In that vein,

got to go "push the vote out"

"I have to go investigate a hanging chad."

Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 4:00 pm 
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Yep....we're almost there....... :lol: .......we're getting close to the answer that adds 4 pages to this thread......

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 5:39 pm 
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Zizou wrote:
Some acceptable shitting euphemisms :

Pinch a loaf
Burn a mule
Bombing Tokyo/Berlin/Iraq (w/e target you want)
Giving birth
Laying an egg
Going to log one


Battling the Duke
Firing off a missile
Dropping anchor

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 5:43 pm 
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get down with brown

visit the Hersey factory

create a new duck whistle

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 5:45 pm 
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spanky wrote:
Yep....we're almost there....... :lol: .......we're getting close to the answer that adds 4 pages to this thread......


If it ends along the lines of " ..... knocking at the back door", my real problem is the clumsy construction of it.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 5:46 pm 
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Hank Scorpio wrote:
I thought 'see a man about a horse' was code for taking a shit. People must think that I have the longest piss breaks ever...

Takin' the Browns to the Super Bowl.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 6:06 pm 
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coincidentally, taking the browns to the Toilet Bowl works just as well.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 8:54 am 
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Very good to see that Boyd and WZ have me on ignore. :evil:

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 9:05 am 
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I need a ruling. I usually say I have to pee like a racehorse.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 9:20 am 
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:lol: :lol:

I can't imagine what something like this would cost. Wouldn't a camera be cheaper?
Bagels wrote:
http://consumerist.com/2013/12/19/atlanta-deploys-urine-detectors-to-curb-scourge-of-peed-in-elevators/

Quote:
Who knew that the elevators in Atlanta’s MARTA rail stations had become a haven for those in need of a semi-private place to relieve their aching bladders? Obviously the people who have complained enough about the problem to convince the Rapid Transit Authority to deploy a urine-detection system.

WSB-TV reports that the program — supposedly the first of its kind — is currently being tested in a single elevator in a Midtown Atlanta train station. It apparently uses sensors to detect when someone has decided to go #1 somewhere between floors 2 and 3.

“If somebody was to urinate in here, there’s going to be a splash factor. It would splash and it would sense,” explains MARTA’s director of elevators and escalators, which sounds like a fun job until you go back and re-read what he just described and realize that this is what he has to deal with all day.

The urine detection device (or UDD) somehow detects that micturating is occurring and it sounds an alarm intended to bring the MARTA police and deal with the baddie with the bad bladder.

In the month since the one test UDD was put into place (along with a sign warning people about the UDD’s existence), MARTA says there has only been one incident and that elevator violator was arrested. Before the UDD, MARTA says this particular elevator was being urinated in on a daily basis.

Based on that success, MARTA will begin rolling out UDDs to other elevators in the coming months at a cost of $10,000 a pop.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 2:23 pm 
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Grow a tail
Drop a deuce
Go into labor (always a fav with the wife who's gone through the real thing...)

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 2:47 pm 
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in my late teenage years into and through my 20s i had a friend named ray. ray had the distinction of creating the most foul smells from his arse that i had ever withstood..... i mean between farts and the post-shit aura he'd leave in a shitter, yeah, i mean you grow up respecting your father for that sort of thing but good ol ray could make my dad look like nothing.

well after one particular shit of his he was really proud of his creation, and he came in beaming telling us of his semantical masterpiece. film legend john wayne aka "the duke" supposedly died with 42 pounds of undigested red meat in his system, which meant that whenever you had to take a really big shit.... you should pay tribute to the man, the myth, the legend and call it "the duke"

so yeah dropping a duke, or just simply using it as a crude verb of sorts came to be the preferred semantics/synonyms for taking a shit around my social world..... a feat that has stood the test of time only in my immediate universe cuz i can't be bothered to explain this to most people most times (aren't you lucky?)

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