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PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 4:28 pm 
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good dolphin wrote:
You would have to be pretty hard up to think she was not attainable.

I believe the picture bigfan posted is circa the time she was selling herself for Bears Super Bowl tickets. Hell, even Rex Grossman looked good during the Super Bowl run.


I'm starting to think you're one of those metro weirdos who only likes skinny models. You used to be my hero.

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PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 4:42 pm 
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http://www.cracked.com/article_17012_the-6-most-pathetic-attempts-to-get-super-bowl-tickets_p2.html

#1. Woman Auctions Herself

Image

In what has to be the most wildly successful Super Bowl ticket scheme of all time, a Los Angeles area Bears fan named Sarah Spain posted an Ebay ad offering to be some lucky fan's date to Super Bowl XLI.

She already had airfare and a place to stay, she just needed a dude misguided enough to think that coughing up a ticket would lead to anything other than a female filling the seat next to him, and filling the game with long, awkward silences.

Image

At one point, the bidding reached an obviously not serious $99 million. And that's when Axe Body Spray stepped in. Rather than have a hot chick see even one dream go unfulfilled, God forbid, they gave Sarah four end zone tickets to the game. One for her, two for her friends and one for a guy she would choose as part of a contest they would run.

Image

In the end, some dude named Alan Shahtaji emerged victorious. According to Sarah, when asked if he would miss any of the game to get her and her two friends beer, he replied that he absolutely would not. This, apparently, was what put him over the top. Chicks truly do dig assholes.

Since her time as an Axe Bodyspray promotion, Sarah has gone on to a gig with mouthpiecesports.com and has been featured in a commercial with Bears kick returner/wide receiver Devin Hester.

We're not saying that being a hot chick is like winning the lottery every week. We're just saying keep this story in mind when Rent-A-Center confiscates your 52" LCD due to nonpayment. We're guessing no feminine body spray manufacturers are going to come riding to your rescue.


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PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 7:08 pm 
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"In exchange for giving me lots of money, you can buy me an expensive ticket to a football game." Should we run a paternity test to make sure her dad isn't Jerry Reinsdorf?

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PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 8:13 am 
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leashyourkids wrote:
good dolphin wrote:
You would have to be pretty hard up to think she was not attainable.

I believe the picture bigfan posted is circa the time she was selling herself for Bears Super Bowl tickets. Hell, even Rex Grossman looked good during the Super Bowl run.


I'm starting to think you're one of those metro weirdos who only likes skinny models. You used to be my hero.


I like you so I'll recap my oft repeated philosophy: I am largely non judgemental on the average woman walking around the city. Hell, my head was on a swivel this morning looking at anything in a sun dress. I find beauty across this city and often in unconventional women. However, those who hold themselves out to the world as "the hot chick" are going to receive a much different level of scrutiny. If you are going to try to make money in this world as trying to be my ideal, well, that standard will not be easily met and you will dealt with harshly for stealing even a small portion of my libido.

Sarah Spain fits the definition of a woman selling nothing but her wares. All of these pictures we are seeing are from a decade ago, when she was nice looking, though certainly nothing to lose your goo over relative to the rest of internetdom. I saw her at a remote and there was nothing about her look that warranted a reason for intimidation of walking up unsolicited and making a move by average guys.

Sarah is still selling her looks today. As we have seen from the telecast of her posted, it is now a buyer's market.

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PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 8:17 am 
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I wonder if she's still dating the guy who publishes The Heckler. I believe they were once described as Chicago's "media power couple."

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PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 8:19 am 
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Curious Hair wrote:
I wonder if she's still dating the guy who publishes The Heckler. I believe they were once described as Chicago's "media power couple."

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This guy?! dolphin is proven correct.


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PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 3:09 pm 
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Big Chicagoan wrote:


Wow, I didn't know about that. People should tweet that link to her every time she claims to be a serious journalist and acts offended at being considered anything other than that.


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PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 4:14 pm 
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So what were the other 5?

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PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 4:19 pm 
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Frank Coztansa wrote:
So what were the other 5?


Read the article.


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PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 4:27 pm 
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DannyB wrote:
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She's too chunky.

Men like meat, dogs like bones.


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Did you google Days of our Lives? .....wait......

Anyway, regarding Sarah......would.

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PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 4:37 pm 
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Kirkwood wrote:
Curious Hair wrote:
I wonder if she's still dating the guy who publishes The Heckler. I believe they were once described as Chicago's "media power couple."

Image

This guy?! dolphin is proven correct.


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For all you young posters out there, don't dispute the Dolphin


But, dude in the picture can't handle all of that.

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PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 5:09 pm 
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good dolphin wrote:
leashyourkids wrote:
good dolphin wrote:
You would have to be pretty hard up to think she was not attainable.

I believe the picture bigfan posted is circa the time she was selling herself for Bears Super Bowl tickets. Hell, even Rex Grossman looked good during the Super Bowl run.


I'm starting to think you're one of those metro weirdos who only likes skinny models. You used to be my hero.


I like you so I'll recap my oft repeated philosophy: I am largely non judgemental on the average woman walking around the city. Hell, my head was on a swivel this morning looking at anything in a sun dress. I find beauty across this city and often in unconventional women. However, those who hold themselves out to the world as "the hot chick" are going to receive a much different level of scrutiny. If you are going to try to make money in this world as trying to be my ideal, well, that standard will not be easily met and you will dealt with harshly for stealing even a small portion of my libido.

Sarah Spain fits the definition of a woman selling nothing but her wares. All of these pictures we are seeing are from a decade ago, when she was nice looking, though certainly nothing to lose your goo over relative to the rest of internetdom. I saw her at a remote and there was nothing about her look that warranted a reason for intimidation of walking up unsolicited and making a move by average guys.

Sarah is still selling her looks today. As we have seen from the telecast of her posted, it is now a buyer's market.


Thanks. I feel better now.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 3:52 pm 
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Engaged on an African safari over the weekend.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 4:35 pm 
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sounds kinky


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 4:39 pm 
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‏@SarahSpain
P.S. The fiancée wanted me to point out that a picture of the real ring is on the right, though the stand-in is quite lovely, too. :)



The guy sounds like a tool.

"Hey, make sure they know I bought the expensive-looking one!"

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 5:31 pm 
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Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
‏@SarahSpain
P.S. The fiancée wanted me to point out that a picture of the real ring is on the right, though the stand-in is quite lovely, too. :)



The guy sounds like a tool.

"Hey, make sure they know I bought the expensive-looking one!"


I had my wife tweet a picture of hers to a bunch of former NFL players.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 5:33 pm 
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Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
‏The guy sounds like a tool.

"Hey, make sure they know I bought the expensive-looking one!"


He looks like a real Wayne Stylie.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 7:51 am 
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promise you she is big as a lineman within a year of the wedding ring going on that finger

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 12:21 pm 
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good dolphin wrote:
promise you she is big as a lineman within a year of the wedding ring going on that finger

She didn't wait.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 12:30 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
good dolphin wrote:
promise you she is big as a lineman within a year of the wedding ring going on that finger

She didn't wait.


You beat me to it. I saw her recently & she looked every bit of 175LBS.
How in the hell did she get a job in radio with a voice that sounds like she eats glass & concrete?

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 12:34 pm 
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The best part is that she tried to preempt good dolphin's prediction by making a video with an actual lineman!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 12:36 pm 
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Her voice is her best feature.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 12:39 pm 
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or that Magic 1 did the music...and you can buy it at the Hecklerstore.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 12:42 pm 
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Spice Adams is getting pretty fucking annoying. He's good on the radio, but all the other shit he does is stupid.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 12:43 pm 
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KDdidit wrote:
Spice Adams is getting pretty fucking annoying. He's good on the radio, but all the other shit he does is stupid.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 12:45 pm 
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What does that song even mean? What am I supposed to be bearing down for?

It sounds like some song the other team would create to trash-talk the Bears.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 12:52 pm 
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Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
What does that song even mean? What am I supposed to be bearing down for?

Bowel movements?

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 12:55 pm 
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Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
What does that song even mean? What am I supposed to be bearing down for?

It sounds like some song the other team would create to trash-talk the Bears.

You should walking into your office and krunking "BEAR DOWN"!!!!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 1:17 pm 
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Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
What does that song even mean? What am I supposed to be bearing down for?

It sounds like some song the other team would create to trash-talk the Bears.


Dammit. Now I'm going to think about this all afternoon. Bears are trolling their own fans with their own history. I like it.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 1:35 pm 
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Holy shit, the URL.

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