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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 10:24 pm 
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SpiralStairs wrote:

If you knew when you should and shouldn't do most things why were you hit multiple times? You clearly understood right from wrong but sometimes chose to do the wrong thing even though you knew that doing so could result in being hit. If you understand the punishment associated with a behavior but still engage in that behavior then how is that punishment at all effective?


The same reason why prison time is effective at deterring most people from committing crimes that could send them in prison. That doesn't mean that some people won't believe they are smart enough to get away with it. As I said it prevented me from doing worse things than I was already doing and it taught me to respect adults. Without that form of discipline I would have behaved like the kids I saw in the restaurant today while my father and grandmother stood by looking helpless. Not sure why this is so hard to understand. As I said before if you believe in the Caillou approach more power to you.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 10:31 pm 
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Hitting kids is nothing more than a cop out for parents who aren't skilled enough at parenting & talking to their Children. It's easier to just take a swing at them than to take the time to sit down & talk with them. It's very sad.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 10:36 pm 
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Scorehead wrote:
Hitting kids is nothing more than a cop out for parents who aren't skilled enough at parenting & talking to their Children. It's easier to just take a swing at them than to take the time to sit down & talk with them. It's very sad.


:lol: :lol:

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 10:40 pm 
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Nas wrote:
SpiralStairs wrote:
Nas wrote:
WTF are you talking about? Who said they didn't know why they were being hit? If you choose the Caillou approach more power to you. I personally don't believe that's effective. If you don't know what the Caillou approach is I'll just assume you don't have kids.


You said you were hit as a kid. If fact you said you were hit multiple times. So either you didn't/couldn't associate acting bad with being hit, or the threat of being hit didn't act as much of a deterrent for your bad behavior. These are the only possible outcomes.


It did prevent me from doing things. I was the type of kid that would have been hitting adults if I wasn't aware of what may happen to me if I did. I worked very hard not to get caught. I knew when I should and when I shouldn't do most things.

Today my kids and I went to Giordano's after they got out of school and we saw the Caillou approach on display. A couple had 2 boys between the ages of 4-7 with them. Both kids were banging on the windows with a knife and a fork. Father asked them to stop and both ignored him. Mother tried to take the fork out of the oldest child's hand and he hit her. They continued banging on the glass and pulling the blinds and the youngest boy eventually stood on the table. As much as they asked them to stop both of the kids ignored them and then the parents eventually just let them do what they wanted to do. I can honestly say I've never had that problem with my kids in a restaurant or anywhere else. The kids had absolutely no respect for them.
so the moral of the story is that parents need to hit their kids if they want them to respect them. Got it.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 10:50 pm 
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It doesn't hurt to have that form of discipline in your tool box. It is my belief that ONLY saying "Billy stop it! Go to timeout! You're hurting mommy!" is one of the reasons why we see more out of control kids today with absolutely no respect for anyone.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 10:57 pm 
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Nas wrote:
Scorehead wrote:
Hitting kids is nothing more than a cop out for parents who aren't skilled enough at parenting & talking to their Children. It's easier to just take a swing at them than to take the time to sit down & talk with them. It's very sad.


:lol: :lol:


It is a fucking shame that you are laughing at this. I hope you don't beat the crap out of your kids.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 10:59 pm 
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Nas wrote:
I You're hurting mommy!"

:lol: :lol:

Man I'm lucky. My daughter is pretty well behaved and just altering my voice is enough to scare her an let her know its serious. I realize all kids are different but wat you described is being a doormat and kinda funny



Btw, you can be physical without hitting. A grab of the elbow never hurt anybody


Last edited by rogers park bryan on Fri Sep 12, 2014 11:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 10:59 pm 
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Nas wrote:
It doesn't hurt to have that form of discipline in your tool box. It is my belief that ONLY saying "Billy stop it! Go to timeout! You're hurting mommy!" is one of the reasons why we see more out of control kids today with absolutely no respect for anyone.


Yup. You need to earn your kids respect by beating the shit out of them.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 11:00 pm 
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Scorehead wrote:
Nas wrote:
Scorehead wrote:
Hitting kids is nothing more than a cop out for parents who aren't skilled enough at parenting & talking to their Children. It's easier to just take a swing at them than to take the time to sit down & talk with them. It's very sad.


:lol: :lol:


It is a fucking shame that you are laughing at this. I hope you don't beat the crap out of your kids.


:lol: :lol: Nope. I don't beat the crap out of my kids and will never beat my kids.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 11:01 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
Don Tiny wrote:
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The child told his mother that Peterson "likes belts and switches" and "has a whooping room."


I can't figure out if this is disturbing or hilarious.


In the context of child abuse, it's disturbing. In the context of Harry Kalas intoning "Adrian Peterson has what he calls a 'whooping room'...we know it as the Metrodome," it's fucking hilarious.


I thought perhaps the kid had seen a room the old man had 'decorated' to invite ladies (or men ... who knows) over to have a rough go of things, so to speak ... thus the potential hilarity buried underneath the obvious dreadfulness.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 11:04 pm 
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rogers park bryan wrote:
:lol: :lol:

Man I'm lucky. My daughter is pretty well behaved and just altering my voice is enough to scare her an let her know its serious. I realize all kids are different but wat you described is being a doormat and kinda funny



Btw, you can be physical without hitting. A grab of the elbow never hurt anybody


That's what a lot of parents are nowadays. Some want to be their friends and others don't seem to care or believe that one day they'll listen or do the right thing. Personally I believe men have it easier. There is something about our voice that seem to let kids know they should stop. I would pop my son with my finger.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 11:19 pm 
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My parents beat me on occasion. My mom a few times and my father only once for when I stabbed a kid with a pencil. I'd never do it to my kids. It's cowardly and chickenshit. Like beating a dog. You don't need to resort to violence to get a child to act how you want.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 11:21 pm 
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Nas wrote:
rogers park bryan wrote:
:lol: :lol:

Man I'm lucky. My daughter is pretty well behaved and just altering my voice is enough to scare her an let her know its serious. I realize all kids are different but wat you described is being a doormat and kinda funny



Btw, you can be physical without hitting. A grab of the elbow never hurt anybody


That's what a lot of parents are nowadays. Some want to be their friends and others don't seem to care or believe that one day they'll listen or do the right thing. Personally I believe men have it easier. There is something about our voice that seem to let kids know they should stop. I would pop my son with my finger.


This is the biggest problem. I think you can still be a parent to your kids and discipline them effectively without hitting them, but the biggest step in realizing that goal is understanding that you can't be a friend to your kid.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 11:28 pm 
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We all have our beliefs. None of them are 100% effective. What I've learned in 11+ years as a parent is NOTHING you do or say works for every kid. You have to understand your child. Being consistent is probably the most important thing. You can't try to be a friend 90% of the time and then trying to be a parent the other 10%. It's unlikely they will listen to you or respect you.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 11:46 pm 
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Zizou wrote:
My parents beat me on occasion. My mom a few times and my father only once for when I stabbed a kid with a pencil. I'd never do it to my kids. It's cowardly and chickenshit. Like beating a dog. You don't need to resort to violence to get a child to act how you want.


Yup. Try explaining that to someone who would rather crack their kid. If you get to the point where you think that hitting a child is the only solution, then you failed somewhere along the way. If kids are taught morals, ethics, manners, & right & wrong, the thought of hitting your child should never ever even be considered.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 11:56 pm 
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Scorehead wrote:
Zizou wrote:
My parents beat me on occasion. My mom a few times and my father only once for when I stabbed a kid with a pencil. I'd never do it to my kids. It's cowardly and chickenshit. Like beating a dog. You don't need to resort to violence to get a child to act how you want.


Yup. Try explaining that to someone who would rather crack their kid. If you get to the point where you think that hitting a child is the only solution, then you failed somewhere along the way. If kids are taught morals, ethics, manners, & right & wrong, the thought of hitting your child should never ever even be considered.


:lol: :lol: :lol:

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 12:03 am 
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Nas wrote:
Scorehead wrote:
Zizou wrote:
My parents beat me on occasion. My mom a few times and my father only once for when I stabbed a kid with a pencil. I'd never do it to my kids. It's cowardly and chickenshit. Like beating a dog. You don't need to resort to violence to get a child to act how you want.


Yup. Try explaining that to someone who would rather crack their kid. If you get to the point where you think that hitting a child is the only solution, then you failed somewhere along the way. If kids are taught morals, ethics, manners, & right & wrong, the thought of hitting your child should never ever even be considered.


:lol: :lol: :lol:


It appears that you are at a loss for words. This is nothing to laugh at. I feel for your Children. Please don't hit them again.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 12:11 am 
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It's funny because you're so sure about everything but you're almost always wrong. Thanks for thinking about my children. They're all straight A students and well behaved kids so I'll stick to my approach.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 12:31 am 
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Nas wrote:
It's funny because you're so sure about everything but you're almost always wrong. Thanks for thinking about my children. They're all straight A students and well behaved kids so I'll stick to my approach.


I'm pretty damn sure that I am on the right side of this argument. I'll take the non violent position.
You shouldn't hit your kids...especially if they are straight A students!!!
Again, you have failed at parenting if you feel the need to beat your child.

And I'm gonna go out on a limb here & assume that you think that Janay Rice had it coming to her...that she hit Ray first & he hit her back in self defense.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 12:43 am 
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Scorehead wrote:
Nas wrote:
It's funny because you're so sure about everything but you're almost always wrong. Thanks for thinking about my children. They're all straight A students and well behaved kids so I'll stick to my approach.


I'm pretty damn sure that I am on the right side of this argument. I'll take the non violent position.
You shouldn't hit your kids...especially if they are straight A students!!!


You can choose to raise your kids the Caillou or any other way and I'll raise my kids the way I have. There isn't anything that will be effective 100% of the time. So far my approach has enabled me to be able to post pictures of smiling kids holding report cards every quarter for the past 6 years. So far my approach has been effective. Their grades and behavior reflect this. I have a good enough feel to know when I need to adjust. Hopefully I won't lose it.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 1:11 am 
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Nas wrote:
Scorehead wrote:
Nas wrote:
It's funny because you're so sure about everything but you're almost always wrong. Thanks for thinking about my children. They're all straight A students and well behaved kids so I'll stick to my approach.


I'm pretty damn sure that I am on the right side of this argument. I'll take the non violent position.
You shouldn't hit your kids...especially if they are straight A students!!!


You can choose to raise your kids the Caillou or any other way and I'll raise my kids the way I have. There isn't anything that will be effective 100% of the time. So far my approach has enabled me to be able to post pictures of smiling kids holding report cards every quarter for the past 6 years. So far my approach has been effective. Their grades and behavior reflect this. I have a good enough feel to know when I need to adjust. Hopefully I won't lose it.


There are pictures of smiling kids who are afraid of getting their ass beat...& there are pictures of kids who have succeeded due to positive re-enforcement. I will let you decide which approach is more desirable.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 6:56 am 
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 7:08 am 
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There are really two debates here:
1) Is spanking ok? Maybe, but it almost certainly is not effective as a long term solution.
2) Is hitting a child with any object ok? No. No chance. There is no justification.

We won't even hit murderers with objects in this country but we think it is ok to hit children with them?

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 8:10 am 
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bigfan of Scorehead in this thread!

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 9:03 am 
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I'm guilty of threatening to use physical violence/spanking although I don't think that in 17 years I've spanked more either of my sons more than three times total. Only once with a belt. I stopped when I realized the "this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you" remark was true for me. Hell, I probably tagged people out playing baseball as a kid harder than I ever spanked them.

The threat of "grown man strength" remains a reliable deterrent. It worked for my dad when I was about 10-11 yrs old with me as well. Couple that with a few logic filled discussions & they generally get the message. Oddly enough, my wife (who often spanked) has had my sons all but dare her to try her crap with them now.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 9:24 am 
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Boilermaker Rick wrote:
There are really two debates here:
1) Is spanking ok? Maybe, but it almost certainly is not effective as a long term solution.
2) Is hitting a child with any object ok? No. No chance. There is no justification.

We won't even hit murderers with objects in this country but we think it is ok to hit children with them?


Spanking is a long term solution. It's not something you have to do every day or even once a year. The belief that they may get a spanking for doing something bad will eliminate or reduce many of the bad things they consider doing. It makes the "look" or the calling of a name more effective IMO. Spanking isn't abuse. AP abused his 4 year old.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 9:33 am 
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rogers park bryan wrote:
Nas wrote:
I You're hurting mommy!"

:lol: :lol:

Man I'm lucky. My daughter is pretty well behaved and just altering my voice is enough to scare her an let her know its serious.


I would love to hear what's in the arsenal. Sassy Southern Belle? Old Jewish Guy? Phil Simms? Paul Robeson?

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 9:35 am 
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Nas wrote:
Boilermaker Rick wrote:
There are really two debates here:
1) Is spanking ok? Maybe, but it almost certainly is not effective as a long term solution.
2) Is hitting a child with any object ok? No. No chance. There is no justification.

We won't even hit murderers with objects in this country but we think it is ok to hit children with them?


Spanking is a long term solution. It's not something you have to do every day or even once a year. The belief that they may get a spanking for doing something bad will eliminate or reduce many of the bad things they consider doing. It makes the "look" or the calling of a name more effective IMO. Spanking isn't abuse. AP abused his 4 year old.


That I can generally agree with both posts is amusing. Truthfully contradictory, but amusing.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 9:36 am 
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Nas wrote:
Spanking is a long term solution. It's not something you have to do every day or even once a year. The belief that they may get a spanking for doing something bad will eliminate or reduce many of the bad things they consider doing. It makes the "look" or the calling of a name more effective IMO. Spanking isn't abuse. AP abused his 4 year old.
Pretty much all research indicates that spanking is not an effective long term solution. I'm not just making this up.

I'm not saying spanking is abuse. I'm just saying it is believed to be a poor way to control long term behavior. It does something in the short term.

There is a reason parents don't spank 15 year olds.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 9:51 am 
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I think you can get your point across when disciplining your children without hitting. Here's an example: parents spank their kids with thick diapers on all the time. Do you really think this hurts them physically? No way (most of the time) There is way too much cushion. But do the kids instantly start crying? Yep, every time. Why? Because they know you're mad at them and they're getting in trouble. You can get that same point across by raising your voice, looking them straight in the eye, and maybe point right in their face.


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