Is Kris Bryant soft?

Matches Malone · **Posted:** Mon Jul 04, 2016 9:50 pm

Things didn't end well for "Toots Sweet" in Angel Heart.

Don Tiny · **Posted:** Mon Jul 04, 2016 10:03 pm

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:

Toot Sweet Asswipe was my favorite Shirley Temple porno.

The 6th entry on a Google search for "Toot Sweet Asswipe" points here.

Scooter · **Posted:** Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:09 pm

Lots of effort on this one. Toot sweet means quick in the mainstream of today. I would dig into it deeper if you really have nothing more to do with your sorry lives.

IMU · **Posted:** Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:12 pm

Scooter wrote:

Lots of effort on this one. Toot sweet means quick in the mainstream of today. I would dig into it deeper if you really have nothing more to do with your sorry lives.

Toot sweet means nothing.

tout suite is what you're looking for.

Maybe you should look into spelling the things you hear.

sinicalypse · **Posted:** Tue Jul 05, 2016 12:06 am

obviously i wouldn't say that bryant is "soft" (as i sure haven't seen any evidence of this) however i would say that he's definitely "consistent as hell." last season i was most impressed with his RBI totals and his relatively steady avg; this year he's already got what, 21-24HR a few games after the 1/2way point of the season? the exciting part for cubs fans is that babe bryant seems to be just about as steady as they come and this year he's showing us that he can improve his levels of production to steadily produce all throughout the season. he doesn't seem to have that raw OMFG!!!!! sizzle going on (yet?) like trout or even MLB's chosen (read: sponsored) one bryce harper, but he certainly has that steak like you're going out to gibson's for a little STEAK DINNER BOOM!

for the record the cubs have 3 ruthian players: babe bryant, kyle "babe FUCKING ruth" schwarber, and now wacky willy contreras. holy shit i legit feel sorry for anyone who saw contreras available in random fantasy baseball public leagues and didn't bite because right away yahoo/rotowire said that he was probably only going to get ~2 starts a week and therefore only add him if you've got the depth to bench him for most of the week. i think that "2 starts a week" thing lasted for all of ~2-3 days as he stormed out of the gates not just hitting a HR in his first MLB at bat, but hitting a HR on the first pitch he saw in MLB. from there alls you can say is "hijinks ensue"

poor babe fuckin schwarber sure picked a horrible time to go and do his knee for the entire season, eh? seriously with wacky willy being a more legit catcher and being able to play LF/1B it's like he can do everything that schwarber does better than schwarber (who i actually did some research on during the offseason and found out that last year schwarber was basically 3 different players/phases for roughly equal amounts of the season+playoffs.)

put it this way, schwarber showed up for good around the ASB. on august 13th he was .330/.420/.621 with a 1.042 OPS. his traditional #s were .330/8/25 on august 13th. on sept 13th he was at .261/16/42, and then at the end of the regular season on oct 4th he was .246/16/43. naturally right after that horrible last ~25 days of the regular season he managed to do .333/5/8 in 27 at bats, good for a ruthian .333/.419/1.308 postseason slash line.

which one of the 3 phases/players is schwarber? i was looking forward to finding out this year but then you know what happened and yeah.... that wacky willy contreras is one hell of a player is he not? fortunately for schwarber soler seems to be a shit, baez seems to be an infielder, contreras can actually catch, and there's no reason to play chris cockland or hail szczur when you have schwarber around. if almora goes HAM things could get really tricky for schwarbs tho.

TLDR = schwarber's gonna make a potentially-fine DH/1B for some lucky AL club in the not too distant future, eh?

rogers park bryan · **Joined:** Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:16 pm **Posts:** 81625

He likes July 4th.

Probably played on the 4th in all his travel leagues growing up

Rod · **Posted:** Tue Jul 05, 2016 8:02 am

rogers park bryan wrote:

He likes July 4th.

Not as much as the White Sox who won their 100th 4th of July game yesterday.

rogers park bryan · **Joined:** Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:16 pm **Posts:** 81625

Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:

rogers park bryan wrote:

He likes July 4th.

Not as much as the White Sox who won their 100th 4th of July game yesterday.

That's terrific but Bryant is undefeated and averaging 1.5 Homers and 4 RBI

Brick · **Posted:** Tue Jul 05, 2016 8:10 am

Hungover.

IMU · **Posted:** Tue Jul 05, 2016 9:22 am

Boilermaker Rick wrote:

Hungover.

I heard he was playing today.

Kirkwood · **Posted:** Mon Oct 24, 2016 10:00 am

Do you think Bryant will be in the lineup tomorrow?

A lightweight like him but still be hungover from Saturday. Unless they only sprayed him with sparking grape juice???

TurdFerguson · **Posted:** Mon Oct 24, 2016 10:19 am

Kirkwood wrote:

Do you think Bryant will be in the lineup tomorrow?

A lightweight like him but still be hungover from Saturday. Unless they only sprayed him with sparking grape juice???

312player · **Posted:** Sun May 26, 2019 10:00 pm

He's the softest pussy on this team since it's inception, dude is a huge pussy. Zero tolerance to pain.

312player · **Posted:** Sun May 26, 2019 10:02 pm

While looking for this thread I discovered that good dolphin has started 2-3 x as many cub threads as me.

HawaiiYou · **Posted:** Sun May 26, 2019 10:18 pm

whats wrong w/ him? I watched the replay and at first I thought it was a concussion but then it looked like he didnt really hit heyward that hard.

Chet Coppock's Fur Coat · **Posted:** Mon May 27, 2019 6:04 am

Looked kinda whiplashy to me.

312player · **Posted:** Mon May 27, 2019 8:07 am

Chet Coppock's Fur Coat wrote:

Looked kinda whiplashy to me.

You think any other guy on the team leaves the game over that?

KDdidit · **Posted:** Mon May 27, 2019 9:14 am

He's probably soft, but when you aren't a free agent until after the 2021 season and you already got dicked out of a year, fuck playing hurt

RFDC · **Joined:** Sun May 11, 2008 4:11 pm **Posts:** 57175

312player wrote:

Chet Coppock's Fur Coat wrote:

Looked kinda whiplashy to me.

You think any other guy on the team leaves the game over that?

I think with the concern today for concussions that many players come out, especially with the score of the game at that point of the game. No need in taking any chances.

Chet Coppock's Fur Coat · **Posted:** Mon May 27, 2019 9:37 am

312player wrote:

Chet Coppock's Fur Coat wrote:

Looked kinda whiplashy to me.

You think any other guy on the team leaves the game over that?

Down 7 in the 6th after he just hit the previous inning? Absolutely, unless it's the final two weeks of a close season, or the playoffs.

good dolphin · **Joined:** Thu Feb 17, 2005 2:35 pm **Posts:** 82060

soft as his wife's midsection after a year of marriage

FavreFan · **Posted:** Tue Jun 18, 2019 8:09 pm

Super soft

good dolphin · **Joined:** Thu Feb 17, 2005 2:35 pm **Posts:** 82060

Soft in the head as well

312player · **Posted:** Thu Jun 27, 2019 7:09 am

Only guy in the dugout to freak out and run like a bitch when lightning n thunder was going on during rain delay.

badrogue17 · **Posted:** Tue Sep 10, 2019 6:52 am

Yeah I’m ok with trading him this offseason .

KDdidit · **Posted:** Sun Sep 22, 2019 3:15 pm

Looking for a chance to bail on the rest of the season.

Burrito · **Posted:** Sun Sep 22, 2019 3:23 pm

I hope not.

Antarctica · **Posted:** Sun Sep 22, 2019 3:34 pm

Clearly a gay.

'77Cubs · **Posted:** Sun Sep 22, 2019 4:46 pm

Poor Kris. Gosh, I hope he's gonna be ok.

312player · **Posted:** Sun Sep 22, 2019 7:32 pm

Called it 4 years ago, soft AF.. Looking forward to trading this pussy.

Is Kris Bryant soft?

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